FLORIDA HITS LOCAL WOMAN WITH OVER $100,000 IN FINES FOR CAR TOUCHING LAWN
So Florida sucks. I mean, really sucks. Usually, it’s just a source for weird news, all the time. Or stupid news. This is definitely stupid news. But it’s so stupid, it falls into the Florida sucks category. A woman in Lantana, Florida faces fines of over $100,000 because of a stupid rule. During a pandemic. Well, to be fair, it’s not clear that most Floridians are even aware of the pandemic. Because their governor is a luddite cum pantomime of a public servant. Anyways, the fines are because her car is actually touching her front lawn. Full stop.
LANTANA, FLORIDA SUCKS, AS THEY TRY TO BANKRUPT WORKING LOCAL MOTHER
So yes, the city of Lantana has a rule. If your car is parked on your front lawn, they will fine you $250 for every day it does. So sure, I get it. Some people would otherwise cover their lawns in vehicles, unless motivated otherwise. And that looks pretty redneck in any neighborhood. But that’s not the issue here. Sandy Martinez, the woman in question, lives with other family members (all with jobs) who try their best to fit all their cars in the same driveway. But there’s not enough room! So when she parks, her car “touches” the front lawn. And she has no other option. But the town of Lantana, Florida Sucks doesn’t care.
FINES FOR PARKING, CRACKS IN DRIVEWAY AND FENCE WITH STORM DAMAGE TOTAL OVER $165,000!
Because to officious idiots in the town, there is no recourse. Rules are rules! And her car is touching the lawn! Scandal! She deserves civic, financial punishment! Every day! So ok, there are fines for two other categories. A storm damaged her fence and she didn’t fix it until she had the money to. How much was that fine? $47,375. Florida Sucks. With all the crazy weather, she also had some cracks in her driveway. And, you guessed it, she fixed those when she had the money. And that fine? $16,125. Florida Sucks. So all three sets of fines now add up to the grand total of more than $165,000. Florida sucks, yes, but Florida sucks the money out of their citizens.
One might almost say that living in Santana, Florida is akin to being an indentured servant. You can never get out. I mean, it’s not like the Florida constitution stipulates that no one can suffer excessive fines. Oh, wait. It does! But Florida sucks. So Sandy is suing the town.