FLORIDA WOMAN ASSAULTS BOYFRIEND WITH FROZEN PORK CHOP
Well, this is one I hadn’t heard of before. There’s a 48-year-old Florida woman and her name is Jennifer Brassard. She’s been dating her boyfriend for about a year and they live together. Or at least, they used to live together. But they got into a fight recently and things got a little bit out of hand. Actually, that’s almost the technical term for what happened. So their domestic argument got even more heated and that’s when things really started to fly. But in this case the problem was a frozen pork chop that flew. And that ended with her arrest, for assault with a frozen pork chop.
POLICE ARREST FROZEN PORK WOMAN ASSAILANT AFTER CHOPS GASH BOYFRIEND
That’s right, Brassard threw the frozen meat at her boyfriend and hit him above his left eye. That’s not the kind of thing you expect to be real. Maybe on an old episode of Hill Street Blues, or maybe St. Elsewhere. You know, stupidly random but within the realm of possibility. But this time it was all too real. The frozen flying pig piece gave her boyfriend a “half inch laceration” above his left eye. According to the police report, “On 02/01/2019, at approximately 2145 hours, the defendant and victim were engaged in a verbal argument. During the verbal argument, the defendant threw a frozen pork chop at the victim, striking him on his left eyebrow causing an approximate half-inch laceration.”
NO DETAILS ON FIGHT, BUT COHABITATION IS AU REVIOR
So the police interviewed Brassard as well as her injured boyfriend. They quickly concluded that Brassard was the perpetrator. So they booked her into county jail and she posted a $250 bond for release. We don’t know the details of the fight or what else may have happened. But the judge made a point of ordering Brassard to stay away from her boyfriend and not to contact him. One detail that would have been nice to know was if the frozen pork chop was entered into evidence or not. Ah, well. Brassard now faces a charge of domestic battery.