Do Not Ever, Ever Say Forever to Your Partner

Do Not Ever, Ever Say Forever to Your Partner

DON’T SAY FOREVER, IT’S TOO SCARY

Saying the word forever when you’re dating someone new is apparently not the right thing to do.   I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year, and things are going pretty well. We are talking about moving in together and I’m crying about how happy I am in therapy. But the other day, wholly by accident I assure you, I apparently said the word forever twice in his presence. As in: I talked about us, jokingly and not, being together forever twice in an evening. And I didn’t even realize I was doing it!  So don’t say that, ever, to your partner.

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FOREVER WILL FREAK OUT YOUR PARTNER

Well, this, of course, freaked him out. I didn’t know it, but he’s still trying to get used to just being in a good relationship. He hadn’t had a very good relationship, like never, before me, so it’s a longer road than I previously thought. He’s also still working up to the idea of moving in together, which is a huge deal for someone with awful exes. So I guess the idea of “forever” is still a ways off for him.

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FOREVER AND EVER IS A LONG TIME, IT FREAKS OUT MORTALS

For me, everything is connected, and if I’m thinking about moving in, I’m also thinking about getting married. I would never move in with someone I wasn’t thinking about marrying; that would be juvenile and irresponsible.  But my boyfriend seems to need to really take one thing at a time, and I guess it also means I need to modulate my vocabulary. So for the time being, I am going to take “forever” off the menu. I have no desire to ruin things by pushing too hard too early.

And maybe it’s good to just take one thing at a time. It’s nice to only have to make one decision at a time without having to think too far ahead into an unknown future.

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