IT’S EMBARRASSING: ONEWHEEL E-SKATEBOARDS GET A WORLDWIDE RECALL, MAKING YUPPIES WALK
So first I’ll have to explain that it’s not embarrassing that the Onewheel E-Skateboards are facing a worldwide recall over safety issues. While yes, that is embarrassing for Onewheel, I’m not using that word in that regard. Though it should be noted that just a year before the company called for the recall, they said their E-Skateboard was perfectly safe, thank you very much. That is embarrassing, and should make consumers wonder about how much they should trust the company moving forward. But I use the word embarrassing because every time I have seen someone (usually two people together), I think it’s embarrassing. And, well, they visually take me back to the meaning of the word, Yuppie.
JUST A YEAR AGO, ONEWHEEL ASSURED THE WORLD THEIR PRODUCTS WERE PERFECTLY SAFE
And here’s my second caveat. I would totally ride one of these things if someone handed me one for the privilege. That may make me a hypocrite, especially if I were to see myself riding on one and I thought I was a Yuppie throwback as a result. They’re totally ridiculous. But hey, it’s an electric skateboard that operates on one wheel! It kind of sells itself. Except for how every single person I’ve ever seen riding one thought they were cool simply for being on it. But now it turns out that Onewheel is recalling all of their self-balancing electric skateboard models because there were multiple injuries and a minimum of 4 deaths of people riding them between 2019 and 2021.
OVER 300,000 ONEWHEEL E-SKATEBOARDS WILL NEED AN UPDATE TO MAKE SURE RIDERS DON’T CRASH
And it turns out that there are a lot of tangentially cool people in the world with Onewheel E-Skateboards, with more than 300,000 of them under the recall. Last Friday, the Consumer Product Safety Commission (aka the CPSC) issued a warning telling everyone that has one to stop riding them posthaste. It turns out that the Onewheel E-Skateboards will stop balancing their riders if the devices go beyond their limits. Fortunately, the possibly cool Yuppies across the world should soon return to their uni-wheel commutes, with an update fixing the issue across all models expected in a week or so.