5 SIGNS YOU ARE THE VICTIM IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Let the signs speak for themselves and don’t stick around if you are one of the many, many people unknowingly staying in abusive relationships
Your partner may seem totally normal, and your relationship might seem completely happy. But just make sure before you make any big life decisions like getting married or having kids. Breaking up is one thing, but getting a divorce or fighting over custody is another.
SIGN OF ABUSE #1 — Your partner tells you they don’t like your friends: they don’t want you to have friends, so they force you to not hang out with them anymore. This is a bad sign because it means they don’t want you to have a support system. They want to have complete control over you, and if you have friends their control will never be complete.
SIGN OF ABUSE #2 — Your partner says they don’t like your parents: this is a ploy to get you to thin out the ranks of your support system even further. This is a bad sign because you need people around you who know and love you. An abusive partner doesn’t want you to have anyone else around who loves you. Remember, it’s all about control.
SIGN OF ABUSE #3 — Your partner blows up at you whenever you ask them normal questions about where they’ve been or what they’re doing: if they get mad at you first, you will immediately change your tune and try to get back in their good graces as quickly as possible. They know this, and they also know that if you are always scared they will leave, they can win at fully isolating you.
SIGN OF ABUSE #4 — Your partner hurts you, with words or their hands, and then says they are sorry and they love you. Both of these actions, especially getting physical, might seem like an obvious sign of abuse, but for someone deeply scared and isolated, it is not obvious anymore. Saying “I love you” after repeated abuses attempts to wipe the slate clean and make the victim of the abuse feel sorry for the abuser. This dynamic is so ingrained by this point that it usually works, and the victim generally acquiesces.
SIGN OF ABUSE #5 – They tell you that you are wrong about everything and get you to have only opinions you got from them: this is an attempt to shape your reality in its entirety. Any opinions that differ from theirs will open a rift between you and jeopardize your relationship. This, by now, has become your only relationship in the world, and you believe you cannot live without it. You will give up anything and forgive them for everything.
BUT YOU CAN GET OUT. There are so many people in the world who will love you unconditionally. You will have friends again, you can always go back to your family. You are strong enough to leave, and you can do it. I believe in you!