“DECEASED” WOMAN IN ECUADOR SHOCKS ATTENDEES AT HER WAKE WHEN SHE KNOCKED FROM INSIDE HER COFFIN
Man, I’m starting to feel really old! Because in “my day,” I don’t remember doctors all over the world screwing up when they declared someone to be dead. But these days? It seems to be happening all the time. Maybe I’m not so old, actually. But there is something seriously amiss when people supposedly die, except they’re not actually dead. And this time it’s happened again in Ecuador! But get this, the “deceased” woman, 76-year-old Bella Montoya, was in her coffin, at her wake, and wasn’t dead. She woke up, and startled everyone there when she started knocking from inside her coffin.
Read More: Road Workers in Poland Discover Mass Grave With Hundreds of Vampires
THE DEAD WAKING UP INSIDE THEIR OWN COFFIN AT A WAKE IS A MOVIE-STYLE SATIRE, NORMALLY
As you might imagine, there will be an investigation into how the massive error happened. As in, how did a doctor check this woman’s vitals and think that she was dead? You don’t even have to get a medical degree to know how to check someone’s pulse. You can check the wrists for a pulse. You can also check the jugular. It’s in everyone’s neck, you know? And then, lastly, if you think that someone may have an undetectable pulse (possible, if unusual) you can hold a small mirror in front of their mouth and nose and see if there’s any breath fog on the glass. I mean, who’s heard of someone knocking from inside their coffin outside of a movie? Well, until now. Or, well, the last time this happened.
Related:
Austin, Texas Woman Stunned to Read Newspapers Say She Is Dead
DOCTORS ACROSS THE WORLD SEEM TO HAVE A HARD TIME TELLING THE LIVING FROM THE DEAD
So yes, there are outliers out there where doctors can be hard pressed to quickly assess whether a person has died or not. And in even more extreme cases, the glass breath vapor trick might not even do the trick. But while I’m not a doctor, my bar of expectation is high enough that I’d expect more than a casual inspection of an elderly member of my family before someone declares them dead. Because, to be honest, if I had heard a knock from inside the coffin at any of my grandparents’ funerals, the infarction I would have had would have put me in my own coffin. First.
And no, that’s not a knock-knock joke. Yet. Oh, and didn’t I mention there’s video of the wake?
