The Sydney Sweeney Jeans Ad Controversy Is All About the Boobs

THE SYDNEY SWEENEY JEANS AD CONTROVERSY IS MAKING BOOBS OF US ALL

Honestly, can we all just take a moment and stop gagging on the bait and switch foolishness these days? Because there’s no “there” there when it comes to the Sydney Sweeney jeans ad. It’s a totally contrived controversy. There’s no dog whistle with racial overtones, or intimations of white supremacist genetic superiority, or anything other than boobs. And come to think of it, we’ve been subjected to a great deal of dialogue about her boobs this past year. I just assumed it was an easy way to get everyone talking about Sydney Sweeney. And it worked, because I didn’t know or care who she was until her boobs were literally everywhere in copy.

HAS THERE EVER BEEN A MORE INSIPID EXAMPLE OF TOTALLY FAKE, DISTRACTING CONTROVERSY?

Yet I certainly know who she is now, though I still wouldn’t care if it wasn’t for this absolutely contrived controversy. And while her boobs are certainly photogenic, let’s keep it real. They’re just nice boobs, and are certainly as asset when it comes to getting publicity, selling jeans, and definitely creating a controversy that needs its own over the shoulder boulder holder to keep it in check. And there’s a clear playbook at work, and we as members of the masses need to stop being boobs because some celebrity supposedly has nice boobs.

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THE CONTROVERSY BLEW UP WITH EXACT METHOD ACROSS TOO WILLING PLATFORMS

The controversy started on TikTok, with people freaking out that the Sydney Sweeney jeans ad was really “Nazi propaganda.” Then a host of Republican politicians and personalities were all lined up to defend Sweeney and “basic American life.” That last, of course meaning defending that really white lady with nice boobs being the American Way. Even Trump defended Sweeney, or her boobs. It’s kind of hard to tell. And then the controversy took off for days on end on social media. And let’s be real, these allegedly white supremacist boobs in a jeans ad just aren’t important.

But the controversy ate all the oxygen in the media room. Because all the boobs talking about boobs stopped talking about anything else; detention centers, mass deportations, starving people being killed in Gaza trying to get food. Oh, and Jeffrey Epstein.

Seriously, people. I’ve read that Sweeney is getting harassed and isn’t happy with this. And I can’t blame her.