Taint Bandaid Is Now Something You Can Buy, Perineum Depending

Taint Bandaid Is Now Something You Can Buy, Perineum Depending

THE TAINT BANDAID IS NOW ALMOST HERE, AND IT’S ALL ABOUT THE STAYING POWER

So do you know what your taint is?  No?  Sigh.  Ok, here goes.  Well, depending.  If you are a mammal, you’ve got one hole for number one and another hole for number 2.  The space between those holes is your taint.  Or, as doctors prefer to call it, your perineum.  Yes, you are right, that is some seriously sensitive skin down there.  All sorts of things can aggravate you there if you are not careful.  And normally, you’d think the Taint Bandaid would be something you’d use when you need some extra care, there.  But alas, no, not at all. 

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THE TAINT BANDAID IS FOR YOUR TAINT, OR PERINEUM FOR YOU LAY PEOPLE OUT THERE

So what is the Taint Bandaid and what is it for?  Well, primarily it’s for men so far.  It’s not a Bandaid, per se.  It’s a technological device that sends an electrical current into your, um, area down there.  So why would you want little shocks juicing your taint?  Well, for sex, of course.  If you are one of the unfortunates who suffer from premature ejaculation, the Taint Bandaid might just be for you.  Well, and for your partner, depending.  But to be fair, 30% of all men suffer from this early sexual malady. 

Related: Taint Tanning? Josh Brolin Has Some Seriously Toasted Nuts

MORAI MEDICAL HAS ADDED BLUETOOTH CONNECTIVITY, CONTROL YOUR TAINT BANDAID FROM YOUR PHONE!

So who is making the Taint Bandaid?  It’s a company with the name Morai Medical.  They’ve been developing it for some time. Long enough that they are in clinical trials and have already redesigned the thing for improved use.  Well, and adhesion.  That’s an awkward spot to have something stick on and stay there, especially during sex.  But Morai Medical also added Bluetooth connectivity.  So that’s right, you can use an app on your phone to increase or decrease the electricity pouring into behind your balls to keep them in check.  I, for one, will stick to my standard TENS unit for muscle pain.  But never down there!

The Taint Bandaid should hit the market soon.  For those who need it, or the hands-on curious. 

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