Wait, What!? Vaginal Tightening Cream is A Thing, and It’s Illicit?

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Wait, What!? Vaginal Tightening Cream is A Thing, and It’s Illicit?

VAGINAL TIGHTENING CREAM IS A REAL THING, AND THERE’S A BLACK MARKET FOR IT

It’s been a number of years now.  But I clearly remember a friend of mine telling the doctor to use an extra stitch when they were about to repair his wife’s hoo-ha after childbirth.  Sure, that’s wildly inappropriate.  But it’s also funny as hell.  And yes, she whacked him good as soon as the effort didn’t pain her too much.  She does that regularly, rest assured.  But all kidding aside, did you know that there is some supposed vaginal tightening cream that people buy, and that it’s totally illicit?  Because the US Border Patrol just intercepted over 2,500 syringes filled with whatever that is.

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VAGINAL TIGHTENING CREAM HAS SOME DEMAND, AND WITH THAT DEMAND COMES A STREET PRICE

I remember seeing a host of ads selling penile enlargement products going back decades, as early as when the idea of increasing my penis size seemed like a good idea no matter the reality.  But despite the reflexive twitch of youthful insecurities, I never took any of those ads seriously.  But for whatever reason, the idea of vaginal tightening cream being a real thing is too hard for the market to ignore.  That intercepted shipment of lotus flower supposed wedging has a street value of $19,000.  That’s just crazy, despite how I understand people would want to buy it out of reflex.

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U.S. BORDER PATROL INTERCEPTED 2,500 SYRINGES OF VAGINAL TIGHTENING CREAM HEADED FOR MINNESOTA

The shipment of syringes were headed to a residence in Woodbury, Minnesota.  Sure, summers can be hot there.  But the cold alone would tighten a whale’s yawn into a veritable peephole, never mind-  well, you know never mind what.  So what is this vaginal tightening cream?  And why does it require a “user” to wear gloves before handling?  Well, probably because it’s not safe.  And not safe means the ingredients are totally unregulated by the FDA.  And that’s kind of where I get totally flummoxed by the reflexive desperation people have to “fix” things they don’t need to.

I mean, really.  Would you “insert” something into your body and you have no idea what it is?  And by into, I mean into your vagina.  That makes an extra stitch seem to be logical, eh?

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