FORMER KFC EMPLOYEE ROBS KFC FOR LOVE OF MONEY
Warning: what you are about to read is about a stupid person. About a month ago a 28-year-old former KFC employee named Cleveland Contravis Willis went ahead and robs KFC. The problem is, Cleveland attempted to rob the KFC he used to work at. So, of course his former fellow coworkers recognized his voice. Mr. Willis is not the pride and joy of his hometown Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Just imagine what kind of mindset someone would have to have to make that judgement call.
WHEN ASKED IF IT’S HIM, ROBBER SAYS “NO, IT’S NOT ME”
The night of the robbery a man entered the KFC wearing a mask. That’s the kind of thing that tends to get the attention of workers. The masked man pulled a gun and pointed it at that head of one of the workers. He demanded money from the register, but the masked man’s voice seemed very familiar to the worker. So much so that they asked, “Cleveland, is that you?” Special note to any potential robbers: don’t respond the way Cleveland did. The masked man, when asked if he was Cleveland, responded, “no, it’s not me.” “I’m here to robs KFC”
FORMER KFC EMPLOYEE RECOGNIZABLE THRU MASK AS WELL
To make matters even better, the victim who had the gun to his head didn’t need to hear the masked man’s voice to identify him. He had worked with Cleveland for months and could see enough of his facial features thru the ski-mask’s eye holes to know who it was. Another note to any potential robbers: wear masks with tiny eye holes. Maybe also wear contacts. Maybe just don’t attempt robbery to be safe. Regardless, the two KFC employees handed the $612 from the register to the would-be former KFC employee named Cleveland.
Next up in the chronology is the ski-masked gunman fleeing the scene in a silver Nissan Altima. Special and final note to potential robbers: don’t flee the scene from a robbery in the car everyone knows you to drive.
POLICE MANAGE TO CATCH ROBBER CLEVELAND, DRIVING OWN CAR
The police were called and the robbery was reported, with all the details listed above. The police issued a warrant for the arrest of the described robber, described to be one Cleveland Contravis Willis, former KFC employee, driving a silver Nissan Altima. Cleveland was arrested a week later and faces the charge of armed robbery. He’ll get to wait for due process from the East Baton Rouge Parish Prison.