IDIOT TRIES TO SMUGGLE COCAINE IN A FAKE PENIS, POLICE GIVE HIM A COKE COCK BLOCK
So this, it seems, is a story about a real life coke cock block. That’s right, a penis with cocaine inside of it. Well, a fake penis, to be fair. That would be one epic blow job, amirite? So drug smuggling is always a problem, across the world. People must get away with it. Because it just keeps happening. Or, rather, we keep hearing about it when it doesn’t work out too well. And this time? A man from England tried smuggling cocaine from Jamaica by stuffing it into a fake penis. Or, you might say, a fallible phallus taking a great fall.
COCAINE COKE FAKE PENIS FLEW FROM JAMAICA TO BRUSSELS WHERE IDIOT FAILED A DRUG TEST
The man had been visiting his mother in Jamaica, it seems. He claims he’s not a drug mule and that the cocaine was for his personal use. Well, I’d say a fake penis is pretty personal, indeed. It seems it’s not the size of the ride, it’s what you try to hide. So the man arrived at the Brussels airport, and things didn’t go his way. For whatever reason, they gave him a drug test. He failed it, obviously. Officials found traces of cocaine. So, they decided to look at him even more closely.
DANCING WITH THE WHITE LADY IN A FAKE PENIS GOOD FOR AT LEAST TWO YEARS IN PRISON
They took him to a nearby hospital to figure things out. But that’s when they made their discovery. First, the man was carrying a fake penis. Second, he had filled it with 127 grams of the White Lady. That’s a red flag anywhere. Enough so that the man now faces 2 years behind bars. Given what would have happened to him in other countries, that doesn’t seem too bad. Man, the Philippines? Forget about it. Caning, to be sure. Death even, maybe, if not officially. But smuggling cocaine in a fake penis? I hate to say it. But that takes balls. Real ones, I hope. Otherwise, a longer… sentence.