Florida Idiot Finds WWII Hand Grenade, Goes to Taco Bell

Florida Idiot Finds WWII Hand Grenade, Goes to Taco Bell

FLORIDA GENIUS FINDS OLD WWII GRENADE, JUMPS IN CAR TO TACO BELL

Thank you, Florida!  It’s been too long!  But we knew you’d be back, all too soon.  But this?  You could have bought me a drink, first!  Because I’d need to have a drink to be prepared for this epic stupidity.  A man in Florida found a hand grenade from WWII.  So naturally, what did this idiot do?  He took the hand grenade from WWII.  Then he got in his car.  But it’s a fast food nation, so he drove, in his car, to Taco Bell.  With a hand grenade from 70 years ago.  That’s when you really want to look out for those speed bumps, amirite?

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MAYBE CALL THE POLICE BEFORE DRIVING WITH SOMETHING MORE EXPLOSIVE AND UNSTABLE THAN GRANDPA

So if this happens to you, maybe call the police before you can do anything so stupid.  Get their help.  They are there so serve and protect you, even from you.  Anyway, it is a little unusual and would have been “cool, interesting” if not for Florida.  So this guy was magnet fishing, which evidently is a thing.  Magnet fishers haul in war relics all the time.  But a live grenade is its own thing.  Old explosives age about as well as Dick Cheney, and are even crankier on a bird hunt in Texas.

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AND LIKE GRANDPA, DON’T TAKE THE GRENADE TO TACO BELL

So this guy was magnet fishing in Ocklawaha which is where he found the grenade.  But it’s not clear why he chose to then take the grenade in his car and drive to the Taco Bell in Ocala.  Because once he got to the Taco Bell, he did finally call the police.  So then the police had to evacuate the Taco Bell (because now Taco Bell was “actually” explosive) and a bomb squad from the Marion County Sheriff’s Office was at the scene to “ensure everyone’s safety.”  But be careful out there.  Bomb squads are highly trained, but they can’t help you the morning after you’ve had crazy spicy tacos.

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