Back to College Guide for Drunk Students Only

Back to College Guide for Drunk Students Only


I showed up to college with some suitcases and a parent who would take me to Bed Bath and Beyond. This list would have been of great help then.  I didn’t know what I needed for school when I got there. This was pre-Buzzfeed and before the time when lists for everything you ever needed could be found in a snappy little article. Well, now I am that snappy little article. Here are five things students absolutely have to have when you move into your new college dorm. (P.S. I couldn’t be happier that I no longer live in a dorm.)  Here’s your guide for successful drunk student life.

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1. A laundry bag – this one is a big one. No more parents doing your laundry for you. No more detergent always being there ready for you. And no more dryer sheets that seem to never run out. So get yourself a good laundry bag that can hold a week’s worth of clothes and that will be an appealing place to put your clothes if the person behind you in line decides your things are dry enough and it’s their turn now.

2. A mattress pad – your dorm mattress is not going to be comfortable. This is just the truth. I got a memory foam mattress pad before I ever slept on my dorm mattress, and let me say, that I slept incredibly soundly for four whole years. It is definitely worth it when you are working until all hours of the night and all you want is some sweet shut-eye.


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3. A vacuum – this will make sure you never end up living in a sty. Because people can tell when you’ve been snacking late into the night and it’s not cute. Get a small one though. Those rooms can be pretty cozy.

4. A toiletry bag – this is an absolute must. There is literally no way to bring anything into the bathroom unless you have one of these, so better just invest in one now so that you’re not lugging gross plastic gallon bags to the bathroom every time you need to brush your teeth.

5. A good reusable water bottle – water is the most important thing you will ingest during college. It is so easy to become dehydrated (when working a lot…and drinking a lot) so take care of yourself and stay hydrated.

So there’s your easy guide.  Go back to school!  Get your shit done.  And have more time to be drunk and have fun.  College students are supposed to be drunk and have fun!

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