Naked but not afraid
Living naked is living freedom. Back in the mid-1990s, the British fusion rocker Tricky had a scorching and somewhat clairvoyant line in his song ‘Tricky Kid’ that spoke to the fact that “everybody wants to be naked and famous.”
With the advent of television shows like Discovery Channel’s “Naked and Afraid” and VH1’s “Dating Naked,” baring your bits and bobs — even if digitally blurred after the fact — for all the world to see (wonder if they have a “no erection” policy in place?) is a foolproof way to grab your five minutes of celebrity. I say five minutes because I believe Andy Warhol overestimated the 15 minutes of fame allotted to every screaming hominid on this chunk of interstellar rock. A forgivable lapse, considering the fact that he made his famous quote before the rapid-fire information-regurgitating machine known as the Internet came along.
And with some celebrities shedding their clothing for artistic (Scarlett Johansson in “Under the Skin”) or publicity (Kim Kardashian in just about everything) reasons, being naked is a sure way to garner attention — and keep your name circulating in the press. Sadly, for victims of celebrity hacking, like the recent release of nude photos stolen from private collections of well-known people like Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton, the line between sanctioned images published with a person’s consent and pilfered content has become blurred in the public’s mind. The masses crave all things celebrity — and often don’t care how they get it.
The silver lining here is that with risqué photos and nude selfies popping up pretty much everywhere in our culture (Anthony Weiner ring any bells?), nefarious government or Mafioso types will find it increasingly hard to blackmail anyone anymore.
Baddie Blackmailer: “Do what I say, or I’ll release those nude photos of you to the Internet — and maybe even your sex tape.”
You: “Are you kidding me? My parents, my friends and my employers have all seen me naked from the last time my social media was hacked, not to mention that time I accidentally uploaded my nude holiday photos to all of my circles on Google Plus and my Instagram.
Baddie Blackmailer: “Accidentally?”
You: “You’ve got nothing on me, man. There’s no shame you can bring me that I haven’t already brought upon myself.”