Trump is winning and Rand Paul is mad
Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky equated the GOP with the drug-addled, woman-beating, career-destroying Charlie Sheen in what may go down as the single truest thing the loquacious politician has ever uttered.
Mister Paul said this in front of the Liberty Political Action Committee in Chantilly, Virginia while talking about Republican roadmaps for the upcoming 2014 midterm elections. He seems to think that likening the Republican party to a crazed woman-hating millionaire is the right thing to do, and if we’re going to be fair to Mister Paul, he’s completely correct.
“Does anybody remember Charlie Sheen when he was kind of going crazy…And he was going around, jumping around saying ‘Winning, winning, we’re winning,’” Paul said to the crowd of mostly older and culturally ignorant Republicans, “Well I kind of feel like that, we are winning. And I’m not on any drugs.”
Sheen was arrested in 1990 for shooting his fiancée Kelly Preston in the arm, and twice after that for assault. His highly publicized “meltdown” in 2011 was almost as publicized as his 1998 near-fatal overdose, right before Charlie was charged with drug possession, but after his involvement in a 1996 high class Hollywood hooker ring, run by Madame Heidi Fleiss.
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What Rand Paul is saying is correct: the GOP are exactly like Charlie Sheen. They both attack women (the GOP have consistently voted against women’s healthcare rights for decades now), both are doing nothing to stop burgeoning drug problems, and both have cruised by on a catchphrase-based rhetoric.
Perhaps Charlie has a bigger heart, though: the erstwhile actor has been known to donate sometimes staggering amounts of money towards charities and organizations, including the Red Cross (during the Japanese Earthquake relief efforts), the Cincinnati Reds community fund (which supports many Cincinnati based charities), and in 2012 donated $1million to the USO. To date, his donation to the USO remains one of their top donations. Ever.
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Charlie even helped out with 9/11 worker relief efforts. The GOP, on the other hand, voted to strip 9/11 relief workers of medical assistance.
So while Rand Paul assuredly made the remark offhandedly, even Sheen wouldn’t stoop to their level of underhanded cashwankery in the name of big business while masquerading as men of the people. At least Charlie has the decency to take a woman to dinner before he tries to royally fuck her.
But so, in the spirit of meanness, and possibly because it’s Friday afternoon, here’s a list of things that Charlie Sheen and the Republican Party have in common. Besides a love of ego and control.
Charlie, if you’re reading this, I loved you in Major League.
Things Charlie Sheen & The Republican Party Have In Common:
- More popular in the 80s.
- Uncanny ability to turn people against them.
- Hatred of women…
- … yet obsession with controlling their vaginas.
- Obsession with winning.
- Vast amounts of money spent on cocaine.
- Long, slow, epic meltdown from mid 1990s to current.
- Full scale meltdown around late 2010 / early 2011.
- Inability to get any work done lately.
- Strong start, but appalling self control.
- Fear based debate tactic.
