Pandemic Lockdown Kills Sex Drive, Condom Sales Also Down

Pandemic Lockdown Kills Sex Drive, Condom Sales Also Down

WORLD SEX DRIVE IS DOWN FROM CORONAVIRUS LOCKDOWN DEPRESSION, NO ONE BUYING CONDOMS

So it’s hard to feel up with this Coronavirus pandemic lockdown business.  People are afraid, depressed and anxious.  All of that is more than enough to kill people’s sex drives.  And, well, here we are.  Just a few weeks ago, people joked all we’d be able to do to have fun is to have sex.  And that’s just not happening as much as it used to.  People may be getting it on.  But they’re definitely not doing it as much as they used to. This lockdown is locking down more than we bargained for.  So much so, in fact, that condom sales are, um, also down.

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HORN DOGS NEED TO DO SOME DOWNWARD DOG, BUT THINGS IN CHINA WENT UP AFTER CORONAVIRUS WENT DOWN

The way that condom maker Durex described it was this situation is “having a toll on the number of intimate occasions.”  Yup, no sex drive means no intimate occasions.  But, condom makers seem confident that things will go back up, and so, back on, getting it on.  And if we’re still following China in all things Coronavirus, that should be true.  The drop in sex and condom sales there recovered to the usual levels after they got a handle on the outbreak.  So let’s hope the same happens here.  Because constantly unrequited cabin fever is a downward spiral.

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BUT WHEN OUR SEX DRIVES RETURN, RUBBER PRODUCTION WILL HAVE BEEN DOWN, SO KEEP THOSE CONDOMS CLOSE!

So what else is involved with this pandemic sex drive nose dive?  Well, materials, for one.  Malaysia is one of the largest producers of rubber in the world.  And their lockdown has pretty much stopped production in their factories.  Karex makes 20% of all the condoms in the world.  They speculate that when our sex drives come back, there may not be enough condoms to, ahem, go around.  That’s what we call, um, a shortage.  So far, they expect to make 200 million fewer condoms, just in a 6 week period.  So when your sex drive takes over again, make sure you have enough in hand.  Otherwise, you’ll just have to get it in hand.

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