Breaking: Super Liberal Groper Al Franken Resigns as Allies Abandon Him

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Super Liberal Groper Al Franken to Resign as Allies Abandon Him


For many years, Al Franken was to me just a random comedian who seemed to be involved in a lot of random but intelligent projects.  Mostly I thought of him as the cross-eyed idiot in the film, Trading Places.  Of course, he went on to be elected to the U.S. Senate from the great state of Minnesota.  He’s been one of the few obviously liberal politicians since he was elected.  Franken’s also taken great pleasure making Republican nominees squirm at confirmation hearings.  Franken has also taken great pleasure in publicly grilling business leaders.  But now his legacy will just be as a liberal groper.  More than half a dozen women in the last two weeks have come forward and accused him of inappropriate touching, among other things.  His allies abandon him, calling for him to resign.


Of course, most Democrats supported Franken after the first or second accusation against him.  But more women continue to come forward with complaints, detailing when and where Franken the liberal groper put his hands on their bodies.  Now even stalwart friends like Sen. Chuck Schumer are calling for him to resign.  In fact, dozens of elected Democratic officials have become a growing chorus saying, Franken must resign.  Notably, that includes every female Democratic Senator.  They all agree, the liberal groper must go.  When your allies abandon you like this, the fat lady is singing, loudly.  Maybe Franken groped her, too.

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Many argue that Franken’s alleged offenses pale in comparison to those of Moore, in Alabama, or Conyers, the longest-serving member of Congress.  That argument is what fueled Democrats support of him.  For a while, it seemed that this would be something working its way through the Senate Ethics Committee.  We’d hear some headlines from time to time.  But months or even years could have gone by before the liberal groper problem would be resolved.  But recent days have shown that when your Democratic allies abandon you like rats from a sinking ship, you’re on a sinking ship, alone.

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