THIRSTY THIEVES STILL ON THE LAM AFTER STEALING 70,000 PINTS OF GUINNESS BEER
As beers go, it’s impossible not to appreciate a classic, properly poured Guinness. It’s a staple beer that goes all the way back to it’s start in Dublin, in 1759. But if you know your beer, you know that it’s actually a ruby-red; that pitch black color is just too dark to see it. Each pint is frothy without fail, containing about 300 million tiny gas bubbles. And that tasty, creamy head you get even if it’s not poured from tap comes from a mix of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, delivered from that widget you hear banging around after you pour. Guinness is delectable, and even pale lager enthusiasts know it to be true. But I doubt those were the thirsty thieves who somehow made off with 70,000 pints and disappeared. Those were clearly, strategic fans.
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TWO TRAILERS FILLED WITH BARRELS OF GUINNESS SIMPLY DISAPPEARED FROM INDUSTRIAL PARK
As heists go, it’s the kind that makes you want to track down those thirsty thieves and ask them to share a proper poor on the lam. Maybe even a baker’s dozen. But it would clearly have to be a good and hidden location, seeing how it takes 119.5 seconds just to properly pour out a single pint of Guinness. The theft was managed easily, it seems, with the thirsty thieves simply driving off with two trailers filled with 800 barrels of Guinness from an industrial park in Runcorn, which is near Liverpool, England. The value of the entire haul is worth about $155,000 USD. But since the two trailers still haven’t been recovered, the heist adds another $67,000 to the tally.
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WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE 70,000 PINTS OF GUINNESS? THEY’RE LIKELY DISAPPEARING SIP BY SIP
But I can’t help wondering what plans the thirsty thieves have for their literal, ill-gotten haul. Are they going to sell this on the down low? Because there’s clearly a market in England for beer, and especially Guinness. Even Vegans could get in on the action, as Guinness is perfectly Vegan for nearly a decade now. Or maybe the thirsty thieves were themselves Vegans? Regardless who the dastardly thirsty thieves are, Guinness representatives are none too happy with the theft, and hope to recover the entire lot. Personally, I have doubts that will happen, ever.
