Paying For a Window Seat Doesn't Get You a United Airlines Window

UNITED AIRLINES NOW CLAIMS A WINDOW SEAT DOESN’T MEAN THERE’S A WINDOW ANYMORE

Waaaay back in 1977, I flew for the very first time. I don’t remember the exact connections, but it was from some airport in Virginia to Dallas, Texas for a family funeral. But I remember the flight, big time. I was little, so there was plenty of leg room. And there were cool buttons everywhere! The in-flight meal was lobster tail. Seriously! Those were the days. Since then, airlines give you next to nothing and make you pay even more for next to nothing. And speaking of next to, if you fly United Airlines, don’t expect to get a window seat, even if you pay for it. Because paying for a window seat seems to be meaningless now. With United Airlines, anyway.

ANGRY CUSTOMERS ARE SUING BOTH UNITED AND DELTA AFTER GETTING BULKHEAD

And while I know that definitions have become ever more challenging, it stretches even my imagination as to how United (and Delta!) thinks it can get away with this. But the company’s penchant to bilk their customers out of every nickel now includes saying a window seat isn’t necessarily next to an actual window. Even if you paid extra for it. And not surprisingly, customers aren’t happy at all, and have filed a class action lawsuit against both airlines. United is going the Bill Clinton route, and is looking to dismiss the suit by saying that “window seat” doesn’t think what you think it means. Well, and what it’s literally meant for decades.

American Airlines Flight Returns Because Farting Passenger

UNITED SEEKS TO DISMISS, SAYS THAT WINDOW REALLY MEANS NEXT TO A WALL

So what does United Airlines think window seat means? Try to parse this: “The word ‘window’ identifies the position of the seat—i.e., next to the wall of the main body of the aircraft. The use of the word ‘window’ in reference to a particular seat cannot reasonably be interpreted as a promise that the seat will have an exterior window view.” That’s such spectacular horseshit, don’t you agree? So we’ll just have to see what the court decides. But I have some doubts that we will soon see an extra fee option for “fuselage seat” anytime soon. So if you want a window seat with United or Delta, be sure to literally pick your seat assignment online with a virtual map.

If the Airlines will even honor that, as well.