ADDRESS OF EJACULATE CONCEPTION YOURS AT A NIGHTLY RATE
It’s confirmed! Donald Trump’s childhood home is now available at $725 a night for sex parties thru the Airbnb service. Well, you wouldn’t have to have sex parties. But at that nightly rate what else would cover your overhead? Otherwise it might be considered a “small hand” out. And for all we know this abode is the location where the current Emperor With No Clothes was conceived. So with that spiritual energy perhaps sex parties are out?
LOCATION, LUXURY AND AMENITIES FIT FOR VLADIMIR PUTIN
Media sources recently contacted Paramount Realty and confirmed that the property listing is real. And it turns out that despite having 17 beds on scene that “house rules” disallow parties. Can anyone say mood kill? It looks like any Make America Great Again sex-capades would have to be on the DL. But this Tudor-style home does at least include a life-sized cutout of our orange haired, small handed, pussy grabbing, angry toilet tweeting POTUS, as well as more than half a dozen framed photos of the Donald to keep enthusiastic supporter night-renters happy anyway.
No word if the nightly rate is better in the Russian Ruble. Just saying.
LISTING SEARCHES FOR SUCKERS TO PAY $725/NIGHT IN…. LONG ISLAND
Any Trump-loving red-blooded American dumbass looking to huff in a bit of the president’s residual success while sneering at New York liberals will be disappointed to realize Jamaica Estates is… basically Long Island. And shitposting may be difficult as the listing does not make clear if the home is equipped with wifi.
Really, all you need to know is right there in the host’s words:
“Childhood Home of Donald J Trump… You know… where the President lived as a little kid.”
One assumes the writer of these words is the same unnamed bidder who won Fred Trump’s Fuck Palace back in March for around $2.14 million. That bidder, along with many other Americans these days, is likely regretting betting on the sort of guy who casually escalates conflicts against foreign nations during unrelated press conferences.