Donna Talarico

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After 75 Day Vermont Retreat, Man Asks, Did I Miss Anything?

MAN TAKES 75 DAY RETREAT IN VERMONT, RETURNS TO THE WORLD AND ASKS IF HE MISSED ANYTHING Wow.  This is amazing.  I bet this guy felt like the groundhog and wanted to run back to shelter.  So he’s 33 years old and his name is Daniel Thorson.  Back in March, he checked into a silent […] More

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Pat Robertson (!) Slams Trump, Calls for Minnesota Justice

PAT ROBERTSON SLAMS TRUMP, CALLS FOR JUSTICE IN MINNESOTA, TO GET DISTANCE FROM SINKING PREZ? So I don’t like Pat Robertson.  Actually, I dislike him a lot.  With reason.  So I don’t know if a stopped clock is right twice a day or not here.  Maybe, what’s happening in the United States since the police […] More

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New Covid-Safe Desk Design Could Face Serious Criticism

SMART COVID-SAFE DESK DESIGN COULD HAVE PROBLEMS, LOOKS LIKE SWASTIKA Wow.  I’m guessing this is a cultural blind spot.  Because any other explanation deserves serious criticism and no forgiveness whatsoever.  All you have to do is look a the picture.  There just might be a small problem with the design.  What, you don’t see it?  […] More

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Flying Turtle Smashes Thru Car Windshield, Doesn’t Make It

FLYING TURTLE SMASHES THRU CAR’S WINDSHIELD ON SAVANNAH, GEORGIA HIGHWAY Usually, you want to see the disclaimer that no animals were hurt.  But this isn’t one of those times.  I mean we’re talking about a flying turtle.  Yes, a flying turtle.  In Savannah, Georgia, no less.  A resident and her brother were driving north on […] More

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WTF?! LG Poland Goes Upskirt in Latest Cell Phone Ad

HOW THE HELL COULD LG POLAND POST AN AD TOUTING IT’S CELL PHONE AS AN UPSKIRT DEVICE? So sometimes people in advertising make some bad calls.  But this kind of takes it to a totally new level.  Someone working for LG Poland put together an ad touting how good their new phone is to take […] More

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To Become Spiderman, 3 Bolivian Brothers Have Black Widow Bite Them

3 BOLIVIAN BROTHERS THOUGHT A BLACK WIDOW BITE WOULD TURN THEM INTO SPIDERMAN So I vaguely remember being a kid and seeing anxious adults looking on.  Some adults were so afraid of imaginations, we couldn’t play make believe in front of them.  Too dangerous!  And while I don’t recall what the game was, it was […] More

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Florida Home Doormat Says Get a Warrant, Police Oblige

DRUG DEALERS PUT DOORMAT THAT SAYS, COME BACK WITH A WARRANT, POLICE OBLIGE So Florida continues to be the funniest news generator anywhere.  Seriously.  This time, it comes from Flagler County.  The Sheriff’s Office there received some very helpful advice from a local house.  Sure, police get tips all the time.  They help quite a […] More

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NC Supreme Court Finally Says Middle Finger Not Probable Cause

MIDDLE FINGER TO A NC TROOPER TAKES 3 YEARS, SUPREME COURT TO RESOLVE So I really wish this surprised me.  But… no.  So I do understand policing is hard work.  It’s dangerous.  Many people automatically don’t like you.  I’ve certainly felt that way sometimes. And I have a lot of friends who are or were […] More

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Robbery Case Solved by 6-Year-Old Magnet Fishing, Sunken Lake Safe

LITTLE BOY MAGNET FISHING HAULS IN SUNKEN SAFE FROM COLD CASE ROBBERY So sometimes police need a little help solving their cases.  But as we all know, a lot of cases never close.  And when it comes to robberies, even if they catch the thieves, the items they stole disappear forever.  But not this time!  […] More

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Freaky! New Lickable Device Lets You Taste Any Flavor

JAPANESE INVENTOR CREATES LICKABLE DEVICE THAT DELIVERS VIRTUALLY ANY FLAVOR So technology continues to surprise!  I remember seeing Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and that movie delivered some serious fantasy for adults and children alike.  But one particular item in that film that still amazed is the everlasting gobstopper.  Well, and maybe the lickable […] More

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Crazy! Science Proves Penguin Poo is Chock Full of Laughing Gas

NO, REALLY, PENGUIN POO EMITS A SHIT LOAD OF LAUGHING GAS! Sigh.  penguin poo?  So penguins make me laugh.  They’re funny!  If you don’t think so, you haven’t seen them in action.  They are full of antics.  They wobble around on land and are ridiculously cute.  But as clumsy as they are on land, they […] More

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Livestream This Year’s Summer Solstice At the Ancient Stonehenge

YOU CAN LIVESTREAM THIS YEAR’S SUMMER SOLSTICE IN ENGLAND FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD Summer Solstice is right around the corner.  Wait, what?  You don’t know what that is?  It’s the longest day of the year.  In other words, the sun rises at the earliest time, and sets at the latest.  It’s the opposite of […] More

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Florida Official Removed For Refusing to Censor Coronavirus Numbers

FLORIDA’S CORONAVIRUS DASHBOARD MANAGER FIRED FOR REFUSING TO CENSOR OUTBREAK NUMBERS So color me surprised.  Not.  A Florida official just lost their job.  Why?  Because they refused to censor the real numbers of people infected with Covid-19.  Really.  The fired official was Rebekah Jones.  She was the data scientist who managed the virtual, public “dashboard” […] More

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Man Knocked Up Step-Daughter, 14, When Partner Went to Hospital

PIECE OF HUMAN TRASH KNOCKED UP 14-YEAR-OLD STEP-DAUGHTER WHEN PARTNER TOOK THEIR SICK BABY TO HOSPITAL So human trash exists everywhere.  This time, it’s in Leicester, England.  A woman took her sick baby to the hospital for treatment.  But while she was there with the sick baby, something horrible happened.  Her partner and the father […] More

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Cruise Ghost Ship Horror, Infested With Cannibal Rats

MYSTERY, AS RUSSIAN CRUISE SHIP FILLED WITH CANNIBAL RATS MAY STILL BE OUT THERE So here’s some more cruise ship news in the era of Coronavirus.  No, it didn’t happen recently.  But that’s just part of the story.  The cruise ship had the name MV Lyubov Orlova.  So if that sounds Russian, that’s because it […] More

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8-Week-Old Baby Lula Watches Strongman Vids, Stands

LULA IS A POWER CHILD, WATCHES STRONGMAN VIDS ON YOUTUBE AT 8 WEEKS, STANDS FOR FIRST TIME! So media is a powerful thing.  This proves it!  Sure, we’re all fully immersed in propaganda these days.  How else can you explain how reality doesn’t seem to have a wide audience?  And media simply doesn’t help all […] More

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Blow-Up Dolls Enforce Social Distancing in South Carolina Restaurant

REOPENED RESTAURANT, OPEN HEARTH, USES BLOW UP DOLLS TO ENFORCE SOCIAL DISTANCING So I’ve heard about all sorts of strange things when it comes to enforcement.  Weapons, communications, tools, barriers, sonic devices, barf devices, you name it.  But blow up dolls?  Nah, they have nothing to do with enforcement.  Till, now, anyways.  A restaurant in […] More

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Apple to Begin Reopening Stores in US, Canada at Last

AFTER 2 MONTHS, APPLE FINALLY REOPENING SOME STORES IN US AND CANADA So I’m actually surprised it took this long.  Reopening.  Apple certainly isn’t what I would call a necessary thing to have open, like a supermarket or health clinic.  But I’ve remained intensely surprised at how the stores have simply been totally… closed.  Like, […] More

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Brian May, Aging Queen Rock Star, Tears Ass While Gardening

QUEEN ROCK STAR GUITARIST BRIAN MAY TEARS HIS OWN ASS JUST BY GARDENING So I like the band, Queen.  They rocked and clearly still do.  But aging ain’t easy on anybody, which I am slowly learning myself.  But this wasn’t one of the things I thought I had to worry myself with.  Tearing my ass.  […] More

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What, Coronavirus Can Cause Psychosis, Too? What’s Next?

SO THANKS TO CORONAVIRUS, PSYCHOSIS IS ALSO ON THE RISE, BUT DON’T STRESS TOO MUCH ABOUT IT So I’m at a loss to figure out how to understand what this really means.  Coronavirus, if nothing else, has caused a degree of confusion that would stagger a bronze statue.  And no, I’m not referring to the […] More

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Young Jogger Gets Collapsed Lung from Wearing Coronavirus Mask

YOUNG JOGGER RESPONSIBLY WEARS MASK, SUFFER COLLAPSED LUNG AFTER 2.5 MILES Jeez, a collapsed lung?  So this lockdown is just rough.  And social distancing?  It’s mostly challenging because of all the assholes who refuse to take it seriously.  But we all still need to exercise, especially outside.  This is wearing on everybody.  So what’s the […] More

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Clever Boston Cop Plays Mating Call to Lure Escaped Peacock

CLEVER BOSTON COP USED MATING CALL TO LURE ESCAPED PEACOCK BACK INTO PROTECTIVE CUSTODY A mating call in Boston?  So this kind of makes me miss Boston.  But with the lockdown, I’m sure people living in Boston also miss Boston these days.  Shoot, I miss just walking down the sidewalk without the extra stress.  But […] More

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Perfect, Campy Space Opera Flash Gordon Releasing in 4K Resolution

PERFECT CAMPY SPACE OPERA, FLASH GORDON, SOON COMING IN FULL 4K So one of the greatest movies of all time is about to come out, again.  And we’re talking about Flash Gordon, of course.  If you’re under anything close to a ripe age, you may have no idea about this movie.  But there’s no excuse now.  […] More

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Louisiana Police Hunting Aggressive Chicken, But is On the Lamb

AGGRESSIVE CHICKEN TERRORIZES LOUISIANA BANK CUSTOMERS, BUT IT’S ON THE LAMB So the pandemic situation is hard on all of our public service people on the front line.  I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be a nurse, fireman or a cop.  But it must be a surreal job as a cop, to have […] More

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Moon Mining? The Trump Administration is Negotiating That

THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION LOOKS TO CREATE ACCORD AGREEMENT FOR MOON MINING So nothing is sacred in our current political reality.  But by reality, I mean the un-reality of the Trump Administration.  With the Coronavirus Pandemic, it sure seems like we may be missing the bigger picture.  How?  Well, how about deregulating Clean Air?  Done.  Mercury […] More

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What?! Michael Jordan Could Have Played With Nowitzki?

MARK CUBAN TRIED TO CONVINCE MICHAEL JORDAN TO SIGN WITH MAVERICKS AT LAST MINUTE So we likely won’t ever hear enough about this.  And not in any real way from Michael Jordan directly.  But we’re now hearing that Mark Cuban tried an 11th hour push to sign Michael Jordan to the Dallas Mavericks when he […] More

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Asshat Republican Mitch Daniels Tries to Shield Right From Coronavirus Criticism

ASSHAT, REPUBLICAN, MITCH DANIELS WANTS TO AVOID ANY PARTY ACCOUNTABILITY AFTER CORONAVIRUS So it’s election season, 2020.  But it’s also a pandemic year, the first in over a Century.  All Americans are in various degrees of Lockdown.  We’re upset, anxious, furious and frustrated.  But only those sipping on rightwing snake oil are avoiding the biggest […] More

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These T1 Smart Glasses Will Show Authorities if You Have a Fever

NEW T1 SMART GLASSES WILL SHOW WEARER IF YOU, OR ANYONE AT ALL, HAS A FEVER So we thought things were already crazy with all this Coronavirus crap.  You know, how the weird, dark and scary future had already arrived?  Well, here’s some more to be aware of.  There are T1 smart glasses that already […] More

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Murder Hornets in the US, Killing Bees, Maybe People

NOW THE UNITED STATES HAS MURDER HORNETS THAT MURDER BEES AND CAN KILL PEOPLE So much for any good news during the Coronavirus Pandemic.  Now, once we finally get outside again, we have something else to worry about.  And yes, it’s a new invasive species.  It has a terrible name and a truly frightening size.  […] More

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Pandemic Lockdown Kills Sex Drive, Condom Sales Also Down

WORLD SEX DRIVE IS DOWN FROM CORONAVIRUS LOCKDOWN DEPRESSION, NO ONE BUYING CONDOMS So it’s hard to feel up with this Coronavirus pandemic lockdown business.  People are afraid, depressed and anxious.  All of that is more than enough to kill people’s sex drives.  And, well, here we are.  Just a few weeks ago, people joked […] More

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Phoebe Waller-Bridge Enjoys Lockdown With Wall of Plaster Penises

I’LL SEE YOU AND RAISE AGAIN, PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGE SURVIVES LOCKDOWN WITH WALL OF PLASTER PENISES Plaster penises?  So this lockdown situation is hard on everybody, and I do mean hard.  Some of us are barely coping.  But we try to make do with what we can.  Sometimes, we have to make a seriously conscious effort […] More

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Lockdown Murder Horror, Police Find Man Dismembering Wife

LOCKDOWN MURDER LEAVES VICTIM’S FAMILY DEVASTATED, POLICE FIND HUSBAND DISMEMBERING HER BODY So the lockdown isn’t stopping murder, no sirree.  In fact, domestic abuse problems are only worse, as you can imagine.  But pretty much everyone is getting cabin fever these days.  And cabin fever can make people do terrible things to themselves and especially […] More

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Lockdown With No Pants, ABC News Reporter Flashes Viewers

ABC NEWS REPORTER REPORTS FROM HOME, FORGETS TO WEAR PANTS FOR TV SEGMENT So I don’t know if we’ve all been there.  Well, we ARE all there, right no.  If we’re lucky, we’re working from home during this epic Coronavirus lockdown.  Sure, it is full of challenges.  Video meetings, Zoom bombs, family distractions and, of […] More

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Owner of One Fatte’s Pizza Robs Another at Gunpoint

WHY DID THE OWNER OF ONE FATTE’S PIZZA ROB ANOTHER LOCATION, AT GUNPOINT? So I’ve never heard of Fatte’s Pizza before in my life.  But now, I’ll clearly never forget it.  Sure, I know all about New York pizza, and thus I’m an expert.  Well, on Neapolitan, anyway.  But California pizza?  Sure, I know it […] More

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Bowling Green, Kentucky Mayor Finds Woman Living in His Cellar?

FORMER COP, CURRENT MAYOR  OF BOWLING GREEN, KENTUCKY FINDS WOMAN LIVING IN HIS CELLAR There’s so much crazy news out there these days.  And now, we’ve go a kooky one involving the Kentucky mayor of Bowling Green, Bruce Wilkerson.  First off, Wilkerson looks like an aging gay porn star.  I mean, really.  But anyway, the […] More

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Acapulco Waters Light Up for First Time in 60 Years

ACAPULCO BEACH SEES GLOWING BIOLUMINESCENT WATERS FOR FIRST TIME IN 6 DECADES So I’m jonesing something fierce for some nice beach time.  Like everyone else, I’m in Coronavirus lockdown.  So no, I don’t live in Georgia.  But seeing these pictures just makes me hope all the more that we can go to the beach, pretty […] More

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Hero Volunteers Live 28 Days in Factory to Make PPE Supplies

HERO VOLUNTEERS WORK 12-HOUR SHIFTS, LIVE IN FACTORY FOR 28 DAYS TO FIGHT CORONAVIRUS So I wish we hear about more volunteer heroes like these people in Pennsylvania.  43 people made the choice to live and work in a factory for 28 days straight to produce tens of millions of pounds of the raw materials […] More

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Breast Implants Save Woman’s Life From Bullet Aimed at Heart

BREAST IMPLANTS, YES, FAKE BOOBS, SAVE WOMAN FROM BULLET TO THE HEART So I’ve never been much of a fan of breast implants, myself.  There’s something about fake boobs that just doesn’t do it for me.  Call me old fashioned.  But they give me the heebie jeebies.  And yet now I may have a sudden […] More

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Whisky is The Real Holy Water, According to Pope Francis

POPE FRANCIS RECEIVES GIFT OF SINGLE MALT WHISKY, SAYS “THIS IS THE REAL HOLY WATER” So I kind of like Pope Francis.  I mean, it’s hard not to, considering what we’ve had the last several decades.  And Ratzinger?  Don’t even get me started.  But Pope Francis seems to be way, way, more modern than anyone […] More

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Actor Brian Dennehy Passes Away at 81, Already Missed by Costars

BRIAN DENNEHY PASSES AWAY AT THE AGE OF 81, LEAVING BEHIND WIFE, 5 CHILDREN Well, dang.  I really liked Brian Dennehy.  I’m in my 40’s.  So the first movie I ever saw him in was Rambo: First Blood.  Sure, he was pretty much the bad guy who represented a bunch of awkward things which now […] More

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Flies Humping for 41 Million Years in Pornographic Amber

HUMPING FLIES ENDED IN STYLE 41 MILLION YEARS AGO IN AMBER So we all want to be immortalized.  Somehow.  But I’m not sure this is what any of us should be aiming for?  I mean, it’s cool.  And pretty unique.  But if I’m ever caught in flagrante, I’d rather be alive.  Shoot, I’d be happy […] More

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Oops, Fighter Jet Passenger Ejected by Accident in France

DEFENSE CONTRACTOR ACCIDENTALLY SELF EJECTED FROM FIGHTER JET IN FRANCE So I’m not sure how I missed this little nugget when it happened.  Maybe it had something to do with all the Coronavirus coverage?  But we need these little silly stories, especially when they are not bad news.  Just… silly news.  But keep this in […] More

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Trump Administration Wants to Mine Uranium Near Grand Canyon, End Ban

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION WANTS TO MINE FOR URANIUM AT THE GRAND CANYON DURING PANDEMIC So you may have heard.  Well, maybe not.  But Germany is making climate change, and how they produce clean energy, a top priority.  So why?  Because of the Coronavirus pandemic.  But why?  Because this pandemic is giving anyone with an ounce of […] More

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Play the NASA Video Game for You to Save Coral Reefs!

NASA MADE A VIDEO GAME FOR YOU TO PLAY THAT WILL HELP SAVE THE WORLD’S CORAL REEFS NASA may not have the best federal leadership these days.  But they’re still doing some good and important work.  Sure, we’re gonna go to the moon again.  Supposedly.  But we’ve got lots of work to do right here […] More

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Val Kilmer Has New Memoir, Says No Girlfriend For 20 Years!

UNBELIEVABLE, NO GIRLFRIEND FOR 20 YEARS! SAYS VAL KILMER IN NEW MEMOIR So I love me some Val Kilmer.  He’s one of those great stars who has done some incredibly varied work.  The first thing I ever saw him in was the 80’s classic, Real Genius.  If you don’t know it, check it out.  It’s […] More

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Best Coronavirus Lockdown Online Workout Might Be Conbody

GETTING DOUGHY IN THE CORONAVIRUS LOCKDOWN?  MIGHT BE TIME TO TRY CONBODY Hmmm.  Conbody.  So I don’t know about you.  But I’m feeling just a bit doughy lately.  Sure, I haven’t been too diligent with my workout regimen during this epic, seemingly endless Coronavirus lockdown.  But I can’t complain too much.  I’m still working, if […] More

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No Sex For Woman With Constant Arousal From Rare Condition

RARE CONDITION LEAVES WOMAN WITH AROUSAL ALL THE TIME, BUT CAN’T HAVE SEX So I’m not sure what to make of this story.  Personally, I mean.  It just seems unimaginable.  I mean, the idea of being turned on all the time seems a nice fantasy.  But then there’s the reality of life.  You just can’t […] More

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Asa Akira, Porn Queen, Donates PornHub $$$ to NYC Hospitals

ASA AKIRA SHOWS HER BIG HEART, WILL DONATE PORNHUB $$$ TO NYC HOSPITALS TO FIGHT CORONAVIRUS So I’ve heard of Asa Akira.  And no, it’s nothing like that.  Sure, she’s one of the reigning Queens of Porn.  After all, she has starred in over 500 porn movies.  That’s, um, a lot.  Um, of activity.  So […] More

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Columbia Tells Citizens to Wank During Pandemic Lockdown

GOVERNMENT OF COLUMBIA TELLS CITIZENS TO STAY HOME AND WANK, OR MASTURBATE FOR SQUARES Ah, for some honesty.  What I’d give these days for some honesty.  Well, sure, we have some honesty here in the United States.  But that’s like saying you’ve got water in muddy water.  And here?  We’ve got so much mud in […] More

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After Lockdown, Visit the Shipwreck Capital of Canada, Lake Huron

STUCK IN CORONAVIRUS LOCKDOWN?  MAKE PLANS TO VISIT CANADA’S SHIPWRECK CAPITAL THIS SUMMER So I love the water.  And right now, with the Coronavirus lockdown in effect, I love it even more.  But I can’t go out and swim, or travel somewhere new to have some fun exploration, either.  But I can certainly look online […] More

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Our Poo Will Measure True Coronavirus Impact Reality With RNA

CRAPPY WORLD, OUR POO WILL TELL US HOW BAD THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC REALLY IS So after all is said and done, how big will this Coronavirus outbreak, pandemic, social upheaval catalyst be?  Well, for now, it’s hard to say.  So far, we’ve been looking at infection rates, recoveries, and deaths, of course.  But those numbers […] More

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Dyson Vacuum Inventor Designs Ventilator in 10 Days, Will Produce 15,000

DYSON VACUUM INVENTOR DESIGNS CORONAVIRUS VENTILATOR IN 10 DAYS, WILL MAKE 15,000 So have you heard of James Dyson?  He’s now a billionaire.  But he wasn’t always one.  He founded the Dyson company and has invented a number of amazing products.  But most people know about the seriously powerful and pretty pricey Dyson vacuums.  They […] More

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Villagers in India Forced Into Trees for Coronavirus Isolation

7 VILLAGERS RETURN HOME IN INDIA, FORCED INTO SELF-ISOLATION UP IN TREES FOR TWO WEEKS! So we thought we were having a hard time with Coronavirus in the West!  Well, because we are.  No one, pun intended, is immune.  But how this breaks down in different countries will continue to shock us.  This is certainly […] More

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Coronavirus Closes Dutch Museum, Thieves Steal Van Gogh Painting

AS CORONAVIRUS SHUTS DOWN THE WORLD, THIEVES STEAL VAN GOGH FROM DUTCH MUSEUM So I suppose we can expect a bit more of this.  The Coronavirus has changed the world, almost overnight.  Everything is closed, everywhere.  Schools, restaurants, businesses, museums…. But for one Dutch museum, the closure left it vulnerable.  So vulnerable, in fact, that […] More

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British Couple Murders Au Pair, Then Have Sex, Barbecue Body

CRAZY BRITISH COUPLE HIRE  AU PAIR, THEN IMPRISON, STARVE, TORTURE, MURDER POOR FRENCH GIRL So sometimes, some murder stories just seem all the more horrible.  This is clearly one of those murders.  The victim was a 21-year-old au pair, Sophie Lionnet.  Her murderers?  Sabrina Kouider and her lover, Oissem Medouni.  Sophie Lionnet was just 20 […] More

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Functional Crisis Manager, Yes, But Andrew Cuomo Still an Asshole

DESPITE CORONAVIRUS CRISIS MANAGEMENT, ANDREW CUOMO STILL DEFINITELY AN ASSHOLE So I keep hearing about how impressed everyone is with New York Governor Andrew Cuomo.  Ok, sure, he’s using a voice of reason as a crisis manager for his state.  And yes, New York will likely have the most Coronavirus deaths in America.  By far.  […] More

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Hot Russian Banker Survives Helicopter Crash, Arctic Cold

MIRACLE AS HOT RUSSIAN BANKER SURVIVES HELICOPTER CRASH IN REMOTE, ARCTIC COLD So here’s some sort of good news.  Well, it was good for the hot Russian banker, Alexandra Bogomolova.  Well, mostly.  Alexandra was on her way in a helicopter to (literally) one of the most remote weather stations in the world when the chopper […] More

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Portland Strippers Laid Off, Now Delivering Boober Eats

STRIP CLUB FORCED TO CLOSE UNDER ISOLATION ORDER, STRIPPERS DELIVER FOOD GOODIES So now strippers make house calls?  What a world.  Well, maybe just a tease, really.  But with all the Coronavirus lockdowns everywhere, Portland was and is no exception.  There was this strip club, see, and its name was (is) the Lucky Devil Lounge.  […] More

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Republican Preacher Looking for Love, His Awesome Republican Goddess

CONSERVATIVE OLDER PREACHER LOOKING FOR LOVE, HIS AWESOME REPUBLICAN GODDESS So looking for love can be an endlessly challenging task.  But finding it?  That can be even more so.  And for one Republican preacher, he’s going the distance to find miss perfect.  But by miss perfect, he means an Awesome Republican Goddess.  Oh, yes.  Yes!  […] More

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Sex Doc Specialist Talks About How to Have Multiple Orgasms

SEX DOC TELLS INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS, YES, MULTIPLE ORGASMS ARE REAL, HERE’S WHAT TO DO So much for not feeling like an underachiever.  But if  you need this advice, well, try not to feel that way.  And that goes for both the giver and the getter.  It takes two to tango.  But this is no tango.  […] More

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Walking Dead Zombie Actor Jailed for Biting Domestic Fan

BRAINDEAD WALKING DEAD ZOMBIE ACTOR JAILED FOR BITING FAN GIRLFRIEND Wow.  So much to say, too much irony in my diet.  So.  You may be aware that zombies have dominated TV now for some time.  We’ve gotten so used to violence that undead violence is now just an exploration art form.  And yet, somehow, Zombies […] More

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Stuck at Home? Comfort Baileys Slow Cooker Recipe the Fix Mix

MAKE SOCIALLY ISOLATED SELF SOME COMFORT FOOD WITH BAILEYS MALTESERS FUDGE So you’re stuck at home?  Most likely, you are.  Maybe you’re working remotely, if you’re lucky.  But even if you’re not, we all need comfort food in these crazy Corona Virus pandemic days.  And what could be better than getting out your slow cooker […] More

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Thrift Store Score! Salvador Dalí Wood Engraving Print Found

DREAM SCORE FIND, SALVADORE DALI WOOD ENGRAVING PRINT IN NORTH CAROLINA THRIFT STORE So you must know who Salvador Dalí is, right?  The Spanish surrealist painter?  The guy with the crazy, iconic mustache?  Yeah, you know Salvador Dalí.  But a thrift store owner did NOT know the famous artist’s work, that’s for sure.  We know […] More

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The New and Current Era of Social Distancing, Isolation

THE NEW ERA OF ISOLATION AND SOCIAL DISTANCING WILL CHANGE HOW WE THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING So much has changed, and is changing, in this sudden new era of pandemic across the world.  Regardless of what you think about how well your government responded in the last two weeks, they are all responding now, and how.  […] More

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Oil Person RuPaul Makes Tons of Fracking Money on Wyoming Ranch

POPULAR DRAG QUEEN ICON RUPAUL TURNS OUT TO BE AN OIL PERSON MAKING MONEY ON FRACKING So it sucks to hear bad news about people that you thought were cool.  And now we have some more of that, big time.  But big time represents both the extreme height of the celebrity RuPaul as well as […] More

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3 Guests At Trump’s Mar-A Lago Resort Test Positive for Coronavirus

3 GUESTS AT DENIALIST TRUMP’S MAR-A-LAGO RESORT TEST POSITIVE FOR CORONAVIRUS So the hits keep on coming.  We’re going to keep hearing about people testing positive for Coronavirus for some time to come.  But it’s worth noting that some people, like Trump, took quite a long time to acknowledge there was a pandemic in the […] More

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Asshat With Failed Brakes, Truck Destroys Easter Island Head Statue

PRICELESS PIECE OF HUMAN HISTORY REDUCED TO RUBBLE BY TRUCK’S FAILED BRAKES? So at first when I heard the first reports of this, I totally assumed some asshole deserved to suffer some awful moral consequence for destroying one of the priceless, mysterious Easter Island Head Statues.  But alas, it wasn’t that the driver was an […] More

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Your Again Fashionable Polyester is Shedding a LOT of Microplastics

NEW STUDY SHOWS THAT JUST WEARING POLYESTER CAUSES MICROPLASTIC SHEDDING, AND HOW So if you can read the English language, you’re almost certain to be in some degree of lockdown and disruption from the Coronavirus.  Well, even if you don’t speak English, as this is becoming a universal truth for a while.  But regardless, you […] More

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Kate Beckinsale Dishes on More Harvey Weinstein Screaming Abuse

KATE BECKINSALE REVEALS MORE HARVEY WEINSTEIN ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR NOW THAT HE’S IN PRISON So Harvey Weinstein is in the news again.  You may have heard he received a sentence of 23 years in prison for his sexual assault shenanigans.  Well and good.  And about time.  But we haven’t heard the last of his disgusting abusive […] More

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Ming the Merciless, Max Von Sydow, Passes Away at 90

BOND VILLAIN, MING THE MERCILESS ACTOR MAX VON SYDOW DIES AT 90 So this just sucks to hear.  And I know, believe me I know, there’s a lot of bad and scary news out there right now.  But I don’t want to miss out on recognizing this loss.  Max Von Sydow was an actor who […] More

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Dolly Parton to Celebrate 75th Birthday With 2nd Playboy Spread

DOLLY PARTON ABOUT TO TURN 75, WANTS TO CELEBRATE BY APPEARING IN PLAYBOY, AGAIN So I’m old.  I’m so old that the first time I ever say Dolly Parton, it was in the movie, 9 to 5.  So that’s kind of old.  But I’m not as old as Dolly Parton, that’s for sure.  When I […] More

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Top Pinterest Home Trends We Can’t Wait to Try Out in 2020

FUN PINTEREST HOME TRENDS TO EXPLORE IN THE NEW 2020 YEAR A new decade brings in new home trends. There’s a variety to choose from, and it’s up to you to choose one or two decor novelties. These will lighten up your decor and make it new. But, as much as we love to keep […] More

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Smokers Beware! Cigarettes Make Coronavirus Much Worse

CORONAVIRUS WILL PUT CIGARETTE SMOKERS AT GREATER RISK OF INJURY So here’s some more Coronavirus news.  And I should say, it’s no surprise to hear at all.  If you’re a smoker, you already know you should quit.  But now it’s an even better time to throw your cigarettes away.  Get a patch, or Nicorette.  Maybe […] More

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Aussie Thief Uses Reel Fishing Rod to Steal Versace Necklace

REEL CRIME DOWN UNDER, AUSSIE MAN STEALS VERSACE NECKLACE WITH FISHING ROD So have you ever gone fishing?  I have.  But never like this.  I’ve fished on two continents, rivers, oceans and even mountain lakes.  And no, I’m not a good fisherman.  I’ve dipped my toes in, so to speak.  But something I’ve never tried […] More

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Golden State Killer to Plea Guilty to 13 Murders, No Death Penalty?

GOLDEN STATE KILLER LOOKS FOR PLEA DEAL TO AVOID DEATH PENALTY So you’ve probably already heard about Joseph DeAngelo.  He’s the 74-year-old who we now believe is the Golden State Killer.  He marks the first high profile murder investigation where genetic genealogy identified the culprit.  California prosecutors have been seeking the death penalty in his […] More

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Crazy, Tables and Counters Can Now Hack You Cell Phone

HACKERS NOW HAVE A CHEAP EASY WAY OF A CELL PHONE HACK SIMPLY USING A TABLE OR COUNTERTOP So the new and modern world keeps changing the game that we’re all in.  But by game, I really mean the modern world of common technology.  Absolutely everyone has a cell phone these days.  And that means […] More

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Coronavirus Hits Hollywood, New James Bond Release Film Delayed

CORONAVIRUS HITS HOLLYWOOD, AS NO TIME TO DIE RELEASE MOVES TO NOVEMBER So Coronavirus is making its mark in a host of ways.  And, there are sure to be many, many more.  But for now, in the midst of all the new cases we see every damn hour, there’s a new impact.  James Bond.  Notably, […] More

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Police Arrest Two for Possession of Whale Vomit, Ambergris

MUMBAI POLICE BUST TWO FOR ILLEGAL POSSESSION OF WHALE VOMIT, AMBERGRIS So this is educational.  Number one?  I had no idea there was such a thing as whale vomit.  Yes, whales barf.  And so there is whale vomit in the world.  Well, maybe not vomit, exactly.  But’ we’ll get to that.  Two, whale vomit has […] More

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Disney Goes Vegas as Minnie in Cat Fight, Mickey & Goofy Bouncers

DISNEY CHARACTER MINNIE MOUSE DELIVERS EPIC BEATDOWN ON LADY SECURITY GUARD So much for what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  Especially when Disney goes to Vegas!  Not only did this scene NOT stay in Vegas, it went viral, to boot.  So what happened?  Well, a scene old Walt would never write, that’s for sure.  […] More

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Woman Hears Cheating Husband’s Sex Sessions on Amazon Alexa

WIFE CATCHES HUSBAND IN LIE WHEN AMAZON ALEXA PLAYS AUDIO OF CHEATING HUSBAND So Alexa, can you play me the recording of my cheating husband having sex with another woman?  Well, the answer evidently appears to have been yes at least once so far.  So before I delve into more of the details, I should […] More

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Generation Z Will See Half the World’s Beaches Disappear by 2050

GENERATION Z WILL LIVE TO SEE HALF THE WORLD’S yBEACHES DISAPPEAR BY 2050 So here’s the deal.  Climate change is here and it’s here to stay.  But while we obviously don’t know all that this means, we learn more every single day.  And the latest news just cements how adults these days have totally screwed […] More

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Ultimate Creep Florida Worker Sucked on Patients’ Toes

FORT MYERS HOSPITAL PATIENT FACES ULTIMATE CREEP WORKER, SUCKING HER TOES So here’s a new one, even for a news junkie like me.  A Florida hospital worker, the ultimate creep, is in some hot legal water after he sucked on patients’ toes.  Well, it’s unclear really if it was multiple.  But it seems likely, considering […] More

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Fear, Stupid People, Coronavirus Make Bad Timing for Corona Beer

AMERICANS CAN BE GULLIBLE, STUPID PEOPLE, JUST ASK CORONA BEER So maybe this was inevitable?  I mean, it’s not like beer is politically partisan.  Well, not in any obvious way among consumers, anyway.  But fear crosses all demographics, always.  And this time?  It’s a fear worth having, the Coronavirus.  As of this writing, there are […] More

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Rat Bites New York Man’s Penis in Jail, Now It’s Ratfukked

RATFUKKED MEANS A RAT BIT YOUR PENIS WHILE YOU WERE IN JAIL AND IT STILL HURTS So a word to the wise.  The word is ratfukked.  If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.  But this story only goes to reinforce that sage advice.  And what a story it is!  A man, Peter […] More

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Porn Icon Riley Reid Talks About Loneliness of Sex Stardom

RILEY REID TALKS ABOUT HOW BEING A PORN STAR MAKES DATING A HUGE, LONELY CHALLENGE So I must admit that I already knew the name, Riley Reid.  But like many, I’m sure my initial reaction to this news was a little surprise.  It was, wow, she seems older than I imagined!  Well, maybe not so […] More

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Free! Smithsonian Releases 2.8 Million Images Into Public Domain

SMITHSONIAN RELEASES OVER 2.8 MILLION IMAGES AT ONCE INTO THE PUBLIC DOMAIN, FOR FREE So do you like history?  Or how about design?  You know, playing with images.  Maybe you’re a student.  Or maybe you just like Photoshop too much in your spare time?  Well, regardless, this is big news even if you don’t.  The […] More

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BMW Driver’s More Likely to Be Assh0les, Says Science

CASE STUDY FINDS BMW DRIVERS MUCH MORE LIKELY TO BE ASSH0LES So we’ve all been there.  You’re driving your car around.  It could be over a coiuple days.  Or even one!  And you realize, everyone who drives that kind of car is a total assh0le.  But it turns out, you just might be right!  And […] More

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Yale Study: Texas Fracking Causes Higher Rates of Lone Star STDs

RIDICULOUS YALE STUDY SAYS TEXAS FRACKING CAUSES HIGHER RATES OF STDS So this news comes from a study at Yale University.  You know, one of them Northeast elitist schools?  But despite that, you might just want to read on a bit.  Because this is strange news, indeed.  Yale’s School of Public Health published their research […] More

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Four NYC Babies Get Fatal Herpes From Circumcision

FOUR NYC BABIES GET CIRCUMCISION HERPES SINCE DECEMBER, WHAT?!? So what the hell?  Babies with herpes?  From a circumcision?  It’s the kind of thing to give anyone nightmares.  I just might.  4 NYC babies recently got herpes from a strange and dangerous tradition of circumcision.  Really.  But even worse?  The herpes can be fatal.  So […] More

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Ancient Dirty Harry Endorses Mike Bloomberg for President

SAD STORY AS DIRTY HARRY ACTOR ENDORSES EMPTY SUIT BILLIONAIRE, MIKE BLOOMBERG FOR PREZ So this makes me sad.  Well, sadder, really.  Why?  Well, because I like a lot of Clint Eastwood’s movies, that’s why.  And when artists we like disappoint us, it makes it harder to like them.  Or their work.  And this time […] More

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Train Conductor Wins After Getting Fired for Sexy Photos

CANADIAN PACIFIC RAIL FIRES CONDUCTOR FOR SEXY INSTAGRAM PHOTOS, LOSES LAWSUIT So that’s what a train conductor looks like these days?  I had no idea!  And if it was up to Canadian Pacific Rail, none of us would!  Her name is Stephanie Katelnikoff and, well, she’s pretty hot.  But she seemingly made a mistake when […] More

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Florida Officials Close Public Park for Yearly Snake Orgy

SO MANY SNAKES CAME OUT TO MATE IN MASSIVE SLITHERING SNAKE ORGY, FLORID OFFICIALS CLOSED PARKS So we’re now a bit past the commercial orgy of romance we call Valentine’s Day.  Shoot, Groundhog Day is just a shadow already.  But the cycle of life moves on.  So for snakes in Florida, they have Valentine’s Day […] More

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Drunk Driver Kills Pedestrian, Drives Mangled Headless Body to Bar

HORROR SCENE AS AUSTIN DRUNK DRIVER HIT’S PEDESTRIAN AND DRIVES ON WITH HEADLESS, MANGLED BODY TO BAR Drunk drivers are a menace.  But everyone knows that.  Yet this story shows that even the strictest DUI laws don’t prevent horrors like this.  A man in Austin, Texas got drunk and then drove his car.  And then […] More

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Woman Plays Violin During Brain Cancer Brain Surgery

DOCTORS HAVE WOMAN PLAY VIOLIN DURING BRAIN SURGERY TO MAKE SURE SHE DIDN’T LOSE HER ABILITY TO Sometimes you read about something that you can’t believe is real.  This is one of those times to be sure.  So there is a woman who had a brain tumor in the right frontal lobe of her brain.  […] More

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Coronavirus Panic Causes Spike in Private Jet Demand, Rich Stranded

WEALTHY PANIC OVER CORONAVIRUS MAKES HUGE JUMP IN PRIVATE JET DEMAND So everyone knows about the Coronavirus.  It’s here, it’s there, it’s pretty much everywhere.  Well, if not the virus, then the fear it causes.  That is everywhere.  So far, we just don’t know enough about it to know how bad it’s going to be.  […] More

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Woman Takes My Little Pony Support Animal On Domestic Flight

MY LITTLE PONY FLIES THE FRIENDLY SKIES, SUPPORT ANIMAL GOES DOMESTIC Well, I thought I had heard it all.  Support animals are important.  Clinical studies show that they can be incredibly helpful for people’s health.  So much so, that support animals have become so normal, you just might see one every day.  Well, you might […] More

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NASA is Recruiting Applicants! Do You Want to Be an Astronaut?

NASA IS RECRUITING FOR NEW ASTRONAUTS, AN AMAZING ADVENTURE AWAITS So I’ve got to say that I never thought I had the wrong degrees.  But now, I kind of do.  Well, not that my wife would ever let me go into space.  Not a chance.  But a man can dream, right?  But maybe you have […] More

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Japanese Firm Offers Sex Doll Funerals, With Porn Star Rei Kato

SEX DOLL ALL WORE OUT?  NOW A JAPANESE COMPANY OFFERS FUNERALS TO SAY THAT PERFECT GOODBYE Sex doll funerals?  So I’ve been hearing about the rise of sex dolls all over the world.  But I wouldn’t say it’s exactly normal to have one (or six!) quite just yet.  And yet, I may need to revise […] More

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Mom Pissed, Nursery Staff Write Message On Her Baby With Marker

MOM FURIOUS WHEN NURSERY STAFF WRITE HER A MESSAGE IN PERMANENT INK ON HER BABY’S BELLY So being a parent has all sorts of challenges.  But one of the earliest is often good and safe childcare.  If you’re a parent, you know what I’m talking about.  I certainly went thru this, especially when my kid […] More

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Man Rushes to Hospital With Blue Legs, Diagnosis: Idiot

MILLENNIAL HAS BLUE LEGS, RUSHES TO HOSPITAL FOR DIAGNOSIS: IDIOT So I’m no hypochondriac.  Thank God.  But I have been, and can be, an idiot.  It’s an X,Y thing.  But I’ve never been this much of an idiot.  I mean, really.  Have you ever looked down at your legs and realized they were blue?  Like, […] More

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Man Gets 3 Day Hard-On Using Bull Viagra for Breeding

MAN TAKES BULL VIAGRA FOR BREEDING, MAN GETS 3-DAY HARD-ON, NEEDS HOSPITAL So what’s it take to get a rise out of you?  And no, that’s not a tongue in cheek query about a hard-on.  But for every guy out there, we all remember a certain age when the answer was just a stiff breeze.  […] More

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Not a Joke, Florida Gets a Bad Case of the Monkey Herpes

FLORIDA HAS SOME BAD MONKEY BUSINESS, WHICH NOW MEANS A BAD CASE OF MONKEY HERPES Monkey Herpes.  Yes, this is really a story about monkey herpes.  It’s real.  It’s out there.  But by out there, I mean Florida, of course.  That’s right.  Florida has a bad case of the monkey herpes.  Normally, I’d say this […] More

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Sex Slave for 31 Years, Venezuela Woman Finally Escapes Hell

MONSTER KEPT WOMAN A SEX SLAVE SINCE 1989, BUT THEN SHE ESCAPED So these stories keep cropping up.  People holding other people as prisoners for weeks, months, even years.  We’ve heard about basements, closets, chains and sometimes the prisoners are children.  But this time, we’re hearing about 31 years, living as a sex slave?  Because […] More

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Banana Republic: Trump’s DOJ Undermines Prosecutors in Stone Case

IT’S OFFICIAL, THE UNITED STATES IS NOW A BANANA REPUBLIC WITH TRUMP AT THE HELM So how do you know if you live in a Banana Republic?  Well, one easy way to know for sure is when your country’s leader interferes with the court system.  And by interferes, I mean undermines, ignores or overrides it.  […] More

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Sudden Decline in Bumblebees Leading to Mass Extinction

BUMBLEBEE POPULATIONS DROPPING SO FAST, MASS EXTINCTION COULD ARRIVE SOON So things are getting worse.  No, that’s not news to anyone that’s paying attention.  But a recent study talking about the sudden decline in bumblebees worldwide should demand it.  Why? Well, because if bees disappear, we could all be in big trouble, and fast.  As […] More

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Tandem Duo Russian Spacecraft Stalking US Spy Satellite

TANDEM, RUSSIAN SPACECRAFT ARE STALKING BRAND NEW US SPY SATELLITE So what in the hell is going on with this story?  A senior US military commander (think, general) has told Time Magazine that there is some shady business going on hundreds of miles above our heads.  What kind of shady business?  The national security kind.  […] More

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El Paso Cop Convicted of Rape Gets No Jail Time, Not a Joke

JURY CONVICTS EL PASO COP OF RAPE, GIVES HIM NO JAIL TIME, NONE AT ALL So his name is William Ollie Alexander.  And yes, that is another serial killer or presidential assassin’s name.  Alexander raped a woman.  He’s a rapist.  But even worse?  He’s a El Paso cop!  He raped a woman while he was […] More

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Police Catch Drug Smugglers With Bags Marked, Bag Full of Drugs

DRUG SMUGGLERS USED BAGS WITH PRINT, BAG FULL OF DRUGS, TO… SMUGGLE DRUGS So police must have a good time, at least sometimes.  I mean, we all need a good laugh every single day.  Don’t we?  And Florida provides us with a good laugh at least once every week.  No, really.  Here’s another instance of […] More

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Student Loan Company Sends Man 55,000 Bill Letters

OHIO FAMILY RECEIVED 55,000 COPIES OF THE SAME STUDENT LOAN BILL So I have to admit that I had student loans.  It’s been years.  But I paid them off over many years as well.  I don’t miss them.  And I really don’t miss the extra hassle in my budget every month.  But most people who […] More

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Galápagos Tortoise Thought to Be Extinct Are Still Around

LONESOME GEORGE TORTOISE NOT EXTINCT! RESEARCHERS DISCOVER MORE ON GALAPAGOS ISLANDS So it’s about time we heard about some good news, don’t you think?  In what researchers are calling “a story of hope,” we finally get some.  Do you remember Lonesome George?  He  was the over 100 years old tortoise that died back in 2012.  […] More

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School Showed Lion King at Fundraiser, Disney Charges $ For Infringement

DISNEY FINES SCHOOL ONE THIRD OF THE PROCEEDS RAISED AT EVENT THAT PLAYED LION KING Oh, Lion King.  So I wonder how Shakespeare, whoever he/she/they are, would feel about this?  Or any of the Renaissance painters?  Because their work made a lot of money.  But only after they were dead.  Shoot, how about Walt Disney […] More

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Climate Change Killing This Year’s Popular Rally Sweden Race

CLIMATE CHANGE IS KILLING ANOTHER RACE THIS YEAR, THE RALLY SWEDEN So this is pretty sad news.  Well, maybe because it’s because I finally saw that period movie about Ford winning Le Mans half a century ago.  It really plugged me in to the visceral passion race drivers and their teams have for their sport.  […] More

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Idiot Orangutan POTUS Sends Congrats to Wrong State for Super Bowl Victor

ORANGUTAN IN CHIEF POTUS OFFERS CONGRATS TO SUPER BOWL CHAMPS IN WRONG STATE So I watched the Super Bowl.  It’s been a while.  But it’s yet another year where the Super Bowl was the only game I watched.  Yes, it’s the fanfare.  The glitter.  But mostly, it’s watching the most expensive commercials in the world, […] More

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US-Mexico Authorities Find Longest Tunnel for Smuggling, Ever

MEXICAN AUTHORITIES FIND THE LONGEST US-MEXICO SMUGGLING TUNNEL, BY FAR So I can’t help but recall a scene from one of the Fast & Furious films where they drove under the US-Mexico border crossing.  Well, raced across I suppose is a better description.  It seemed ludicrous.  But that’s because it was.  Yet authorities in Palm […] More

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Black Michigan Man Goes to Bank to Deposit Checks, Bank Calls Police

BLACK MICHIGAN MAN GOES TO TCF BANK TO DEPOSIT CHECKS, TCF BANK CALLS POLICE FOR FRAUD So this isn’t a good look.  A black man in Michigan is suing a Midwest bank.  Why?  He says they committed racial profiling against him.  And, well, it seems hard to disagree with him.  What happened?  He went to […] More

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United States Senate Republicans, Thy Name is Heretofore Cowardice

SURPRISING NO ONE AT ALL, THE UNITED STATES SENATE SHALL HERETOFORE HAVE THE NAME, COWARDICE What a bad day.  So much for faith in the Republic, tradition and supposed American values.  And no, this is not histrionics.  This is merely one citizen’s voice, calling out into our contemporary maelstrom, yet another voice unrepresented by a […] More

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Dutch Cops Arrest Pickpocket With 30 Phones in Shorts at Concert

PICKPOCKET UNDER ARREST BY DUTCH COPS, PICKPOCKET LIFTED 30 PHONES, STUFFED INTO SHORTS So I hate pickpockets.  They’ve only targeted me a couple of times in my life so far.  But fortunately for me (knock on wood), they had no success.  The first time was in Europe and it was totally cliché.  They were Gypsies […] More

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Remembering Kobe Bryant, And Lamenting a Future Without Him

LAMENTING THE LOSS OF KOBE BRYANT WILL GO ON AS WE CONTINUE REMEMBERING HIM So.  It’s hard to write about loss.  But it’s especially hard to write about loss that’s hard to describe, hard to identify.  I first heard about Bryant’s death in the helicopter crash from a friend, moments before the news cascaded from […] More

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Northern Cali Vineyard Loses 100,000 Gallons of Wine in Spill

100,000 GALLONS OF WINE LOST FROM NORTHERN CALI VINEYARD IN MASSIVE SPILL Yowza.  I’ve heard of some massive spills before.  But not one that made me as sad as this one.  Well, excepting the Exxon Valdez, of course.  But this spill is something other than the usual.  I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s […] More

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Suspect Flies Mercedes over San Joaquin River, Dies on Landing

CALIFORNIA MAN FLEES POLICE, FLIES MERCEDES ACROSS SAN JOAQUIN RIVER, DIES ON LANDING Now I have to visit this site at the San Joaquin river!  So high speed chases can be really, really dangerous.  I don’t know if you’ve ever fled from the police.  But most who’ve tried, fail miserably.  And miserably can also mean […] More

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Razor Clawed Rooster Kills Owner Going to Cockfight

ROOSTER WITH RAZOR CLAWS KILLS OWNER ON THE WAY TO COCKFIGHT So I have to start talking about this story with a certain level of, well, incredulousness.  I mean really, when’s the last time you heard about a rooster with razor blades on its claws.  A razor clawed rooster?  It sounds like something out of […] More

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Rightwing Angry Over Burger King Piece, Damn That’s Good

RIGHTWING GROUP ALL ANGRY OVER BURGER KIND AD, DAMN THAT’S GOOD So if you say certain words, some people want to wash our mouth out with soap.  No, really.  Prurients live for being higher than thou.  Don’t believe me?  Well, have you seen the new Burger King ad where the refrain is, “Damn, that’s good”?  […] More

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Smartest Tech Grads Won’t Work for Evil Tech Giants

TOP TECH GRADS NOW REJECTING JOBS AT “EVIL” BIG TECH COMPANIES So we have all heard about how a lot of the Tech Giants, you know, like Google, Salesforce and Palantir and Facebook.  You know, the ones that are now Evil Tech Giants?  Well, as is often the case, people tend to follow the money.  […] More

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Milwaukee Woman Has Chest Pains, Waits 2 Hours in ER, Dies

YOUNG MILWAUKEE WOMAN WAITS IN ER FOR 2 HOURS, LEAVES FOR HELP ELSEWHERE ONLY TO DIE So much for being the best country with the best healthcare in the world.  Her name was Tashonna Ward.  She was only 25 years old.  Her job?  She was a daycare teacher from Milwaukee.  But recently, she wasn’t feeling […] More

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Uganda Authorities Bust Smuggler, Contraband in Fake Baby

SMUGGLERS CROSS UGANDA BORDER WITH FAKE BABY, DANGEROUS CONTRABAND So this is a new one for me.  I’ve heard about some crazy smuggling antics.  But a smuggler who stuffed illegal contraband in a fake baby?  Now, that’s a new one for me!  But that’s exactly what happened.  Uganda authorities had a nice bust when they […] More

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New South Wales Air Drops Carrots and Sweet Potatoes to Starving Animals

NEW SOUT WALES AIR DROPS CARROTS AND SWEET POTATOES TO PREVENT ANIMAL ARMAGEDDON So this is not something I expected to hear.  But it didn’t take me too long to decide it makes perfect sense.  By now, you’ve likely heard of the raging wild fires across much of Australia.  One mega fire alone likely killed […] More

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NYC Commuters Getting Extra Charge With Apple Pay

APPLE PAY DOUBLE CHARGING NYC COMMUTERS JUST BY WALKING BY TURNSTILE So I don’t commute on the NYC subway or bus system anymore.  But I did for quite a number of years.  I don’t miss it.  But if this was happening to me, I’d be pretty damn furious.  As it is, I don’t like the […] More

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NY Teen NASA Intern Finds New Planet on 3rd Day

NY HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR FINDS NEW PLANET ON 3RD DAY AS NASA INTERN So how did your internship go?  If I had to guess, it didn’t go quite as well as it did for one NY teen who was an intern at NASA.  Yes, NASA.  Somehow, his success is only now percolating down from the […] More

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Princess Meghan and Harry Upend The English Royal Family Narrative

PRINCE HARRY AND PRINCESS MEGHAN UPEND ENGLISH FAMILY NARRATIVE, AND HOW So if you’re on the Colonial side of the Atlantic, you either follow the English royal family’s business, or you don’t.  I don’t.  Well, usually that’s true, anyway.  I’m a damn Yankee, whatever that means.  But that being said, I’m not immune from being […] More

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The David Stern Legacy Is Intertwined With Magic Johnson, AIDS

THE FORMER NBA COMMISSIONER DAVID STERN LEGACY INDELIBLY INTERTWINED WITH MAGIC JOHNSON, AIDS So there has been a lot of huge fanfare with many celebrating the legacy of the recently passed away David Stern.  He was the Commissioner of the National Basketball Association from 1984 all the way to 2014.  Those are 30 incredibly long […] More

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Washington State Troopers Spend New Year’s Eve Battling Tumblegeddon

WASHINGTON STATE TROOPERS RESPOND TO TUMBLEGEDDON ON NEW YEAR’S EVE So you probably have heard of the word tumbleweeds before.  But most have likely never seen one in person.  Mostly, a tumbleweed is what you saw on tv. It’s that random ball of dried out something that rolls by in the eerie wind in a […] More

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A Miracle: Grand Canyon Hiker Missing 11 Days Found Alive

HIKER FROM TEXAS WAS MISSING IN GRAND CANYON, RANGERS FIND ALIVE AFTER 11 DAYS So this is a pretty amazing story.  His name is Martin O’Conner and the 58-year-old from La Porte, Texas disappeared in the Grand Canyon on December 22nd  People last saw him at the Yavapai Lodge, which is where he had been […] More

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Australian Man Uses Car to Make Pork Roast in Heat Wave

AUSTRALIAN MAN COOKS PORK ROAST IN OLD CAR DURING PERTH HEAT WAVE His name is Stu Pengelly and he decided to have some disturbing fun with the heat wave Down Under in Australia.  But yes, I know, using your car to cook, say, an egg is old news.  But what about actually cooking a pork […] More

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Vandals Deface Gandhi Photo, Steal Ashes on 150th Birthday

HINDU VANDALS DESECRATE GANDHI MEMORIAL ON 150TH BIRTHDAY ANNIVERSARY So much for what goes around, comes around.  Because I’d love to be there to see when this comes around.  But maybe that’s just me?  Because this is outrageous. Some misguided vandals did in India in early October.  It was just what would have been Gandhi’s […] More

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Iowa Man Has Pet Coyote, Fights to Keep it for Emotional Support

WATERLOO, IOWA MAN ADOPED COYOTE PUP, NOW FIGHTS TO KEEP IT AS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL So this is kind of epic.  I mean, there is always some kind of kooky animal news.  Shoot, the most recent video of a tiger trying to get to a child thru protective glass was kind of crazy.  But I’m […] More

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Canadian Takes Amputated Arm to Taxidermist to Hang Onto It

CANADIAN MAN AMPUTATES NERVE DEAD ARM, TAKES IT TO A TAXIDERMIST AS COOL IDEA So we’ve all heard the term that something cost you an arm and a leg.  But there’s something seriously wrong with that saying.  I’ve met a bunch of people who’ve lost one, the other, or even both.  And yes, they are […] More

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Is Chris Brummer Angling for a Trump 2020 Ambassador Appointment?

BELTWAY GOSSIP SAYS CHRIS BRUMMER WANTS TO BE AMBASSADOR BRATWURST, VIA TRUMP 2020 So it’s hard to keep up with Chris Brummer, who you may know as Dr. Bratwurst thanks to his ritzy degree in “German Opera.” The Georgetown law professor and former FINRA prosecution mill stooge keeps busy over the FINRA toilet, suppressing free […] More

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Man Shoots Texas Barber for Son’s Bad Haircut Before Christmas

MAN SHOOTS BARBER FOR SON’S SUPPOSEDLY BAD HAIRCUT IN TEXAS So I can’t say I’m the sort who puts too much stock in hairstyles.  Well, maybe I  should say in my own hairstyles.  I can certainly see getting a little upset over someone else’s. You know, if it was really bad.  But what counts as […] More

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Kentucky Shows Redneck Roots With Air Fryer Meth

YOUR REDNECK ROOTS RUN DEEP IF YOU HAVE LOCALS RUNNING DRUGS IN AN AIR FRYER So Kentucky is in the news!  Sure, they’ve got a recently defeated governor who pardoned a bunch of folks who gave him campaign money.  But that kind of old school, redneck jazz is pretty standard fare in Kentucky.  But what […] More

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German Santa Goes Underwater at Berlin Sealife Aquarium

KIDS AMAZED TO SEE SCUBA SANTA AT BERLIN’S SEALIFE AQUARIUM, BEARD AND ALL! So this is certainly not Santa Claus the way I remember him.  But it is certainly pretty cool.  And definitely wet!  And no, this isn’t Jason Momoa doing a holiday crossover in Berlin, Germany.  But it is a fairly new annual tradition, […] More

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Josh Brolin Attempts Taint Tanning, Instantly Regrets It

DON’T DO TAINT TANNING, SAYS JOSH BROLIN AFTER INSTANT HINDSIGHT REGRETS So do you remember that time that you thought it would be a good idea to get a nice sun tan on your bunghole?  No?  Maybe you didn’t recognize that word.  Maybe pucker hole?  A$$hole?  Well, how about your taint?  You know, it taint […] More

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California Bethel Megachurch Fundraising Off Raising Baby From the Dead

CALIFORNIA MEGACHURCH, BETHEL CHURCH, FUNDRAISING BY RAISING BABY FROM THE DEAD So much for the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Because there are no good intentions in this whole escapade.  A little girl with the name Olive Heiligenthal passed away a week ago.  She was only two years old.  We don’t know […] More

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Lyft Pisses Off Users With Questionable Handles and Names

LYFT PISSES OFF USERS, NOTIFYING THEM TO CHANGE THEIR USER NAMES, OR ELSE So Lyft has jumped into the moderation purity bonfire and its feet are now burned.  Let’s just call those toes sausages, shall we?  So if that doesn’t make sense yet here’s some background.  Many service and social media platforms have taken some […] More

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Infection Resistant to Drugs Tracked to Pet Store Puppies

CDC TRACKS DRUG-RESISTANT INFECTION TO PET STORE PUPPIES So much for puppies just being cute.  Well, ok, they’re still cute.  But now they’re not as harmless as we’d like to remember.  Why?  Well, the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) has been looking into a nefarious infection they found in multiple US states.  And yes, it’s […] More

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Stone Age Danish Girl, Lola, Chewed Gum 5,700 Years Ago

A STONE AGE DANISH GIRL, LOLA, CHEWED GUM 5,700 YEARS AGO Her name was Lola.  Well, her name IS Lola.  Who knows what her phonetic name really was?  She paints a picture (well, we paint a picture of her now), that gives us a visceral look at humanity in Denmark more than 5 and a […] More

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Trolls Prove Evil Exists During National Epilepsy Awareness Month

TROLLS PROVE EVIL EXISTS WITH SHAMELESS ATTACK ON SOCIAL MEDIA DURING EPILEPSY AWARENESS MONTH So we all know that trolls suck.  Even if you don’t have much of an online, social media life, you know that trolls suck.  But did you know that they could be murderous?  Well, now you do.  And I’m going to […] More

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2 Mass Grave Sites from 1921 Tulsa Race Riots Found?

DID WE JUST DISCOVER 2 MASS GRAVES OF MURDERED AFRICAN AMERICANS FROM 1921? So you may not have heard of this before.  I certainly hadn’t.  But back in 1921, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, there was a massive race riot.  Historians know it as the Tulsa Race Riot of 1921, or as the Tulsa Race Massacre.  So […] More

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With Change in Utah State Law, Utah Destroys 1,000s of Gallons of Beer

UTAH CHANGES STATE LAW, DESTROYS THOUSANDS OF GALLONS OF BEER So ok, what the hell, Utah?  What’s wrong with you people?  Is common sense not something welcome within state lines?  I mean, really.  Because this is about just that: Common.  Sense.  Where did it go?  Did Utah have any to begin with?  Because whatever Utah […] More

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Australian Man Faces Mullet Discrimination Down Under

AUSTRALIAN MAN JED GADSBY FACES MULLET DISCRIMINATION DOWN UNDER This man’s name is Jed Gadsby.  And yes, that totally does sound like an Australian name.  But this Australian man was pretty stunned when he faced discrimination the likes of which Down Under has never seen before.  Mullet Discrimination.  That’s right, this man experienced Mullet discrimination.  […] More

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Pima County Deputy Attacks, Body Slams Quadruple Amputee Child

ARIZONA COP ATTACKS AND BODY SLAMS QUADRUPLE AMPUTEE CHILD IN STATE HOME So it seems that we hear news like this all too often.  Police using excessive force.  But we can’t also forget that police can also be amazing human beings, all the more so for carrying a badge.  But this story is about the […] More

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Police Arrest Florida Old Fart for GF Assault, Arguing Trump

OLF FART FLORIDA DONALD TRUMP FAN SLAMS GF TO GROUND, ARGUING ABOUT TRUMP IMPEACHMENT So sometimes in life, you don’t have to work too hard to connect the dots.  But that’s because sometimes, they’re all in a straight line.  And there are so many of them, they are practically a line already!  That certainly seems […] More

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Rise of Skywalker Actor Says Secrecy Affects Performances

RISE OF SKYWALKER RICHARD E GRANT SAYS PRODUCTION SECRECY IMPACTED PERFORMANCES So I guess this shouldn’t be too much of a surprise.  We’ve all heard about movies and secrets.  It’s become a major thing with cell phones and their cameras, pirating, leaking, etc.  But Richard E. Grant is now saying all the secrecy totally affects […] More

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Protests in Mexico Over Naked Emiliano Zapata Painting

EMILIANO ZAPATA, NAKED IN A PAINTING, SPARKS HOMOPHOBIC OUTRAGE, PROTESTS IN MEXICO CITY So much for art lovers.  But to be fair, art is often about controversy.  But rarely does it cause such an immediate outrage and reaction.  This time?  There’s a new exhibition at the Palace of Fine Arts in Mexico City.  It focuses […] More

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Ohio State Rep. Timothy Ginter Busted as Damned Liar Over Project Blitz

TIMOTHY GINTER, OHIO STATE REP. IS A DAMNED LIAR ABOUT PROJECT BLITZ Oops.  So this is sort of embarrassing.  His name is Timothy Ginter and he’s a State Representative for Ohio.  He’s a liar.  You may have heard of him as he’s a member of the GOP.  That’s right, he’s a Republican.  And no, there’s […] More

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Briana Smith Won Hooters Pageant, Wants to Be Mortician

MISS HOOTERS INTERNATIONAL BEAUTY PAGEANT WINNER BRIANA SMITH WANTS TO BE A MORTICIAN So I must admit I’ve been to a Hooters.  I was told they have good burgers.  And they do!  But honestly, it’s not the side of fries anyone really goes to Hooters for.  It’s all in the name.  But to be fair, […] More

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Man Killed by Own Home Shotgun Booby Trap

MAINE MAN DIES AFTER HOMEMADE SHOTGUN BOOBY TRAP SHOOTS HIM So this is one for the old Darwin Awards.  You know, that’s the award you get when you remove yourself from the gene pool in spectacular fashion?  And no, I don’t mean to say that this isn’t a tragedy.  But it clearly, CLEARLY, did not […] More

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79-Year-Old Delta Flight Attendant Fired Over Milk Carton?

DELTA FIRES MOST SENIOR FLIGHT ATTENDANT FOR SUPPOSED THEFT OF MILK CARTON So here’s the deal.  This isn’t really about a milk carton.  But you knew that already.  First off, this Delta flight attendant is 79 years old.  So you already know that she’s not a new hire.  But being a year away from her […] More

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Adonis Duck Dave Has Penis Removed for Too Much Quacking

DAVE THE ADONIS DUCK HAS TO HAVE PENIS REMOVED AFTER EPIC SOCIAL QUACKING So this is a sad story for every man to hear.  Regardless of where you like to do your thing, we are all birds of a feather.  But for Dave the duck, this Adonis has been doing way too much…. Quacking.  Yes, […] More

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iPhone Has Competition from Pablo Escobar’s Brother?

THE BROTHER OF THE LATE COLUMBIAN DRUG LORD, PABLO ESCOBAR, IS SELLING AN AMAZING NEW CELL PHONE So the world is a strange and mysterious place.  Sure, I knew that already.  But not there’s news that the iPhone may have competition on the close horizon, thanks to the late Pablo Escobar’s brother, Roberto.  No, this […] More

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DHS Wants to Use Facial Recognition on US Citizens Now, Too

DHS WANTS TO USE FACIAL RECOGNITION ON US CITIZENS WHEN THEY CROSS THE BORDER So we all know about facial recognition.  Shoot, it’s on most of our phones now, too.  But facial recognition comes with a major price which isn’t really too clear yet.  And yes, I am indeed talking about privacy.  We already live […] More

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MIT Lady Students Break Guinness Record for Sausage Bun Toss

MIT LADY STUDENTS BREAK RECORD FOR LONGEST SAUSAGE IN A BUN TOSS So normally, if you saw the keywords, MIT, lady, sausage, bun, students and toss, you’d pretty much assume you were in a porn site.  I mean come on, that’s funny and fair.  But this time those key words represent a new world’s record […] More

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Got Depression? Magic Mushrooms May Soon Give Treatment

FDA FINALLY ALLOWS RESEARCH TO USE MAGIC MUSHROOMS, PSILOCYBIN, TO TREAT DEPRESSION So for many, many years, magic mushrooms were anathema. Anathema?  They were illegal to grow, sell, use or pretty much even to look at.  But I suppose there may be cause, to some degree.  Magic Mushrooms are, after all, a hallucinogen.  Or, at […] More

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Man Loves Hot Pot, Man Gets Tapeworms in His Brain

MAN LOVES HOT POT SO MUCH, HE GOT TAPEWORMS IN HIS BRAIN Ok.  So first, what is hot pot?  If you didn’t already know, it’s a traditional Chinese cooking method.  You may have already heard of it as a steamboat.  So essentially, it’s a dish prepared using a simmering pot of soup stock at your […] More

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Retired MLB Player Takes Kids to Gun Range in Case of Bernie

RIGHT WING RETIRED MLB PLAYER TAKES HIS KIDS TO GUN RANGE IN CASE BERNIE WINS PRESIDENCY So I’m not a major league baseball fan.  But I know the name Aubrey Huff.  He was a more than decent player.  I mean, shoot, he won two World Series playing with the Giants.  But it’s a good thing […] More

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Your Mouthwash Negates Your Gains From Exercise

MOUTHWASH TOTALLY NEGATES POST EXERCISE LOW BLOOD PRESSURE BENEFITS So how’s this for some totally unwelcome news?  We all exercise.  Or at least we should, or do more than we say we have time for.  But exercise is good for you.  You live longer.  You lower your stress.  It even has a quick impact lowering […] More

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Twitter in Chief Trump Trumps James Joyce’s Ulysses

TRUMP HAS NOW EXCEEDED ULYSSES IN WORD COUNT, TWITTER IN CHIEF So what does this mean?  Well, it means that our Twitter in Chief and President of the United States, Donald Trump, has some damn sore fingers from all the tweeting he’s done while in office.  So far.  Three weeks ago on November 3rd, Trump […] More

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FINRA Tries to Un-Screw Pooch, Re-Hears Case Barring Broker

FINRA RE-HEARS CASE AGAINST BROKER, TRIES TO UN-SCREW THE POOCH FOR PUBLIC CONFIDENCE So this is kind of big news coming from the financial sector.  FINRA, or the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, is doing something it almost never, ever does.  It’s re-hearing one of its own cases.  But why?  Well, there are some serious questions […] More

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Kansas City Weather Makes Town Smell Like Ass

KANSAS CITY HAD A COLD FRONT THAT MADE EVERYTHING SMELL LIKE ASS So a couple weeks ago, there was something pretty unusual and foul with the weather in Kansas City.  But no, it didn’t involve Trump misinforming local citizens.  This time.  But it did stink and it’s still strange to consider.  Locals in Kansas City […] More

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What the Hell is This Viral Baby Yoda Nonsense?

DISNEY, FAVREAU SADDLE AGING STAR WARS FANS WITH BABY YODA NONSENSE BEFORE CHRISTMAS Well, to sum it up. I have no idea.  But I’m pretty sure it has to do with Christmas.  So to be fair, I’ve gotta admit that I’m a nerd who was conscious in the 1970’s.  At least, I think I was.  […] More

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Narwhal the Unicorn Puppy, Born With Magical Tail on His Head

RESCUED! NARWHAL THE LITTLE UNICORN PUPPY, BORN WITH A TAIL ON HIS HEAD Sometimes the fantastical is real in life.  This is surely one of those times, especially with the puppy cuteness factor.  And his name?  Narwhal the Little Magical Furry Unicorn.  Someone left this little darling abandoned out in the freezing cold!  But the […] More

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British Man’s Tea Pot on a Shelf Sells for $1.25 Million

TEA POT DECORATING BUSINESSMAN’S SHELF SELLS FOR $1.25 MILLION AT AUCTION So we all just may need to have a look around the house and make sure we know what’s sitting around.  But this is especially true of anyone who has a property filled with objects that may have been in the family for some […] More

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2018 Kilauea Eruption Caused Huge Phytoplankton Bloom

KILAUEA ERUPTION IN 2018 SPARKED AN UNEXPECTED, HUGE PHYTOPLANKTON OCEAN BLOOM So it seems even scientists can get surprised from time to time.  So no, this isn’t new news, per se.  But it’s finally getting some attention, as well as analysis.  Usually when we hear about volcanic eruptions in Hawaii it usually means evacuations.  Or […] More

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Chernobyl Control Room Now Open to Tourists

TOURISTS NOW ABLE TO VISIT THE CHERNOBYL CONTROL ROOM, IF ONLY BRIEFLY Seriously.  This is actually happening.  So you know how stupid and sad it is every time you hear about some poor idiot who died while taking a selfie in some precarious spot?  It happens all the time.  People can do stupid things in […] More

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Juli Briskman, Trump Bird Flipper, Wins Virginia Local Election

TRUMP BIRD FLIPPER, JULI BRISKMAN, WINS LOCAL ELECTION IN VIRGINIA So you might remember the name, Juli Briskman.  But even if you don’t, you remember the woman cyclist who flipped the bird to Trump’s motorcade as it drove past her in October, 2017.  Juli posted a photo of that moment on Twitter and her Facebook […] More

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Iowa Family Finds Basement Flooded With 5 Inches of Animal Blood

FAMILY’S HORROR AS BASEMENT FLOODED WITH 5 INCHES OF ANIMAL BLOOD So this is pretty much disgusting.  I don’t know about you.  But I’ve had to deal with domestic floods just a few times in my life.  But for me, all of them came from above.  And yes, one time it involved a neighbor’s bathroom.  […] More

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Arizona National Forest’s 1 Ton Wizard Rock Goes Missing, Reappears

1 TON WIZARD ROCK GOES MISSING FROM ARIZONA NATIONAL FOREST, SUDDENLY RETURNS I so love strange news.  And this certainly fits the bill in spades.  First off, I had no idea there was a local attraction with the name Wizard Rock in Arizona’s Prescott National Forest.  It weighs 1 ton, or 2,000 lbs.  So it’s […] More

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Nurse Gets $900,000 Bill for Preemie Birth, Hospital Care

NURSE RECEIVES HOSPITAL BILL FOR $900,000 AFTER DAUGHTER’S PREEMIE BIRTH So this is yet another reason why we can’t have nice things.  Well, the vast majority of us, anyway.  And yes, this is about healthcare and the insane costs that wreck most Americans’ financial lives.  But this time, the shame (or lack thereof) of the […] More

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Man Had Weed Balloon Stuck in Nose for 18 Years

POOR FOOL TRIED TO SMUGGLE WEED BALLOON INTO PRISON 18 YEARS AGO IN HIS NOSE, WHERE IT STAYED So do you remember that time that you tried to smuggle a weed balloon into prison almost two decades ago?  Well, of course not.  But that’s because it’s just a crazy idea to begin with.  But for […] More

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Pennsylvania Teen Genius Creates Tech Fixing Car Blind Spots

PENNSYLVANIA TEEN GENIUS TOTALLY FIXED A PROBLEM EVERYONE HAS: WINDSHIELD BLIND SPOTS So this shouldn’t be bothering me because I’m totally middle aged.  But I feel like an underachiever (again!) with the recent news of a teen genius from West Grove, Pennsylvania.  And by teen, I mean 14 years old!  Her name is Alaina Gassler […] More

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Indiana Woman Dead in Snake House, Reticulated Python Around Her Neck

TRAGEDY AS WOMAN KILLED BY HER OWN RETICULATED PYTHON IN AN INDIANA SNAKE HOUSE So much for common sense.  And yes, I know that’s possibly a little snarky.  But we’re talking about snakes that kill by squeezing their prey, usually by their necks.  So I really don’t understand snake fans who put reticulated pythons around […] More

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Egotistic Montreal Mayor Cancels Halloween, On Halloween

EGOTISTIC IDIOT OF A MONTREAL MAYOR CANCELS HALLOWEEN, BECAUSE SHE KNOWS BETTER So ok, the mayor of Montreal didn’t cancel Halloween.  But she sure as hell cancelled the hell out of it.  And that’s saying something.  So what’s the deal, here?  And by here, I do mean there, of course.  Well, Environment Canada issues some […] More

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Toothache Treatment Turns Woman’s Blood to Chocolate Brown Color

WOMAN TOOK A COMMON PAIN REMEDY FOR A TOOTHACHE AND IT GAVE HER CHOCOLATE BROWN BLOOD So everyone loves chocolate, am I right?  Well, maybe except for those two people I know who are allergic to chocolate, I suppose.  But maybe they like it, they just can’t have it?  Anyway, no matter how much the […] More

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Want to Try Some Guinea Pig Ice Cream? Try Ecuador!

YOU CAN NOW FIND YOU SOME GUINEA PIG ICE CREAM IN ECUADOR So this is one of those details that I keep forgetting.  Namely, that there are some countries not too far from the US where people eat guinea pigs.  Yes, they eat guinea pigs.  Not only is it not new, it’s practically its own […] More

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Arkansas Woman Says Her Brother Gave Her Meth Sandwich

AT TRAFFIC STOP, ARKANSAS WOMAN SAYS BROTHER GAVE HER A METH SANDWICH So I have never, ever, heard of anything like a methamphetamine sandwich.  Well, until now, that is.  But whatever is going on in Arkansas needs to stay….. in Arkansas.  About a week ago, Hot Springs police arrested two siblings on drug related charges.  […] More

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Town in Northern France Had Black Panther Prowling the Rooftops

LOCALS IN NORTHERN FRENCH TOWN STUNNED TO SEE BLACK PANTHER PROWLING AROUND ON ROOFTOPS So I don’t really know all that much about French culture.  But sure, I’ve been there.  But there’s a lot more to France than just visiting Paris.  I’ve certainly heard a lot about small town French cuisine and culture.  But there’s […] More

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Skynet Gets Closer With Ripsaw M5 Robotic Tank

THE ADVENT OF THE RIPSAW M5 ROBOTIC TANK MEANS THAT SKYNET IS GETTING CLOSER So if you don’t know what Skynet is, maybe go watch any of the Terminator movies.  There appears to be yet another one in theaters soon.  But regardless, Skynet was (and is) the fictitious AI that humans made to control our […] More

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Birds Mistake Rubber Bands for Worms, Cover Island in Litter

ENGLISH BIRDS MISTAKE RUBBER BANDS FOR WORMS, COVER ISLAND IN RUBBER LITTER Well, so much for the old saying, “this is for the birds.”  Because this is both for the birds and by the birds.  But it’s also a small piece of the modern tragedy that is plastic and rubber getting absolutely everywhere.  Even a […] More

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Facebook Loves Candidate Pete Buttigieg, But Why?

PETE BUTTIGIEG IS NOW OFFICIALLY THE FACEBOOK CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT So here’s a really interesting question.  Why does Facebook love Democratic candidate for President, Pete Buttigieg?  Because Facebook is an important giant in everyone’s reality.  But maybe I should say Facebook is a huge giant impacting our understanding of reality.  Mark Zuckerberg has gone to […] More

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Johnson City Police Arrest White Man Named Tupac Shakur

JOHNSON CITY, TENNESSEE POLICE ARREST WHITE MAN, TUPAC SHAKUR Ah, the world is full of such variety.  But even when things have the same names, they can be…. Totally different.  And this is proven yet again with utter thoroughness with the recent news of the arrest of Tupac Shakur.  But no, of course it’s not […] More

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Extreme Life Expectancy Range on Chicago Rail Line by Zip Code

CHICAGO’S RED LINE SHOWS 30-YEAR RANGE OF LIFE EXPECTANCY, BY ZIP CODE So this is pretty scary to comprehend.  The Economist, of all high-end rags, wrote an in-depth piece that should shock every single American that hear about it.  I’m shocked, and you should be too.  It turns out that there is a very simple […] More

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One Single Teabag Can Give You Billions of Microplastics

RESEARCHERS DISCOVER A SINGLE TEABAG RELEASES LITERALLY BILLIONS OF MICROPLASTICS So much has changed in the last few decades.  But really, a lot.  We know about pollution.  But we barely know about all the “new” pollution and how it affects the environment and, inevitably, us as well.  And microplastics is something we’re just  starting to […] More

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U.S. Navy Confirms That Viral UFO Video Was Real

UFO’S REAL, UFO VIDEOS REAL, US NAVY CONFIRMS THE TRUTH So UFO’s are real.  But that’s never been in doubt, has it?  And by UFO, I do mean unidentified flying objects.  Whether or not they’re alien is another question entirely.  But every once in a while there’s a UFO video out there that makes you […] More

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Ken Starr Re-Affirms His Douchebag Bonafides on Impeachment

DOUCHEBAG SUPREME, KEN STARR, REAPPEARS TO SAY BILL CLINTON DESERVED IMPEACHMENT, BUT NOT TRUMP So do you remember Ken Starr?  He was the special prosecutor who is largely responsible for getting the ammunition to impeach then President Bill Clinton.  You know, for having an affair and then lying about it.  But surely you remember?  You […] More

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Likely Smugglers Saved From Drowning By Floating Cocaine

DRUG SMUGGLERS SAVED FROM DROWNING BY FLOATING PACKS OF COCAINE Well, so much for whatever floats your boat.  There have just been so many cocaine on the ocean stories this year.  I’d say there must be something in the water.  But you get the idea.  A family found a pack of cocaine floating in the […] More

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Irishman Pranks Everyone At His Funeral With Voice Recording

IRISHMAN PRANKS ALL HIS LOVED ONES AT HIS OWN FUNERAL WITH VOICE RECORDING So this guy kicked the bucket but left one last prank on the field of dreams.  He’s an Irishman and grandfather and he wanted laughter at his funeral.  And spoiler alert!  He got his wish.  His name is Shay Bradley and laughter […] More

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Billionaire Bill Gates Was Pretty Tight With Jeffrey Epstein

BILLIONAIRE PHILANTHROPIST BILL GATES WAS PRETTY TIGHT WITH JEFFREY EPSTEIN So this is weird.  Jeffrey Epstein is, or was, quite the well-connected sexual predator and general monster.  But to say that he had high profile friends is like saying the Queen of England has a jewel or two.  But now that Epstein is dead we […] More

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English Tourist Died In Italian Sex Shop, Watching Blue Movie

WATCHING A PORN MOVIE IN ITALIAN SEX SHOP, ENGLISH TOURIST DROPS DEAD Well, so much for my idea of going out in style.  I can’t even imagine what my family would say if this was how my life ended.  Fortunately, I would no longer be around to be, um, mortified about it.  A 60-year-old English […] More

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Texas Company Shamed an Applicant for Instagram Bathing Suit Photo

TEXAS MARKETING COMPANY REAPS THE WHIRLWIND AFTER THEY SHAMED AN APPLICANT So much for contemporary business having a single damn clue about how to handle social media.  It’s enough to make anyone mad.  But especially if you’re a woman.  Shaming is a term that keeps coming up these days.  Fat shaming, body shaming, pretty much […] More

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Labrador Attacks 9-Year-Old Girl, 230 Stitches of Damage

CRAZY LABRADOR ATTACKS 9-YEAR-OLD GIRL WHO NEEDS 230 STITCHES ON HER FACE So I do know that any kind of animal can have some random, violent behavior.  But I’ve never heard of an attack from a Labrador like this one.  Every Labrador I’ve ever met has been friendly, especially kid friendly.  And it’s usually families […] More

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Free Hong Kong Sign Gets Sixers Fans Ejected From Game

SIXERS OFFICIALS EJECT NBA FANS FROM GAME FOR HOLDING FREE HONG KONG SIGNS So much for freedom of speech.  In case you hadn’t heard, there’s a sudden, major and seemingly absolute schism between the NBA and all their partners in China.  So what happened?  Well, the Houston Rockets GM, Daryl Morey, sent out a tweet […] More

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Bride Catches Groom Sexually Assaulting Drunk Bridesmaid Before Wedding

TWO DAYS BEFORE WEDDING, BRIDE CATCHES GROOM SEXUALLY ASSAULTING HER BRIDESMAID So much for Pennsylvania bowing out of the crazy social news race with Florida.  I mean, seriously.  Just last week, we have news that will curl your toes.  But then it will curl them again and make you want to vomit.  A Pennsylvania bride […] More

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Trump Buddy Roger Stone May Have Just Committed Sedition

ROGER STONE, NOTORIOUS IDIOT AND TRUMP BUDDY, MAY BE COMMITTING SEDITION So with all that’s going on with the ever increasingly likely impeachment of Donald Trump, we didn’t need this.  But I suppose we have no right to be surprised.  Sure, right now we are all just spinning like cocaine fueled wind vanes right now.  […] More

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Who is Khaddi Sagnia? Possibly, the Hottest Long Jumper, Ever

WHO IS THIS KHADDI SAGNIA?  MANY ARGUE SHE MAY BE THE HOTTEST LONG JUMPER, LIKE EVER So I have to admit, I don’t really follow track and field.  But a good friend of mine does.  You could even say she’s a track & field junkie.  She knows the top athletes from around the world, and […] More

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Donald Trump is Taking the United States Down Dangerous Rabbit Holes

DONALD TRUMP TAKING THE UNITED STATES, AND OUR BASIC DECENCY, DOWN DANGEROUS RABBIT HOLES So what the hell is going on?  Well, the answer appears to be: A Lot.  Trump is clearly on his way to a fully realized Impeachment proceeding.  The investigation is only just getting started, and things look really bad in terms […] More

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Legionnaires Disease Outbreak Likely Caused by NC State Fair Hot Tubs

MYSTERY LEGIONNAIRES DISEASE OUTBREAK TRACKED TO NC STATE FAIR HOT TUBS So this is kind of freaking me out.  And you’ll totally understand why.  You might remember some weird news from last month.  A bunch of people were getting sick with Legionnaires Disease.  And roughly 10% of those infected, die from it.  So yes, that’s […] More

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Los Angeles Homeless Woman Stuns World With Opera Singing Video

LADP OFFICER FILMS HOMELESS WOMAN SINING PUCCINI, VIDEO  QUICKLY GOES VIRAL So here’s yet another lesson.  Never take anything for granted, especially people.  It doesn’t matter if they are rich, poor, celebrity or nobody.  Because there is amazing art and beauty in all of us.  But this is often an easy lesson for everyone to […] More

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Police Drone Finds Fugitive of 17 Years Living in Rural Cave

ON THE LAM FOR 17 YEARS, UNTIL POLICE DRONE FINDS FUGITIVE LIVING IN RURAL CAVE So we’ve all heard stories about fugitives who escape the law and manage to live, totally free.  Well, maybe not totally free.  They still have to hide from the law.  But what about a fugitive who hid from the law […] More

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Oldest Man to Ever Scuba Dive Sets Record at Age 96

MAN SETS NEW WORLD RECORD, GOES SCUBA DIVING ON HIS 96TH BIRTHDAY So much for getting too wrinkled in the water.  Ok, maybe that’s a low blow.  But there’s a total method to breathing properly when you are scuba diving.  Well, and there is clearly a method to living properly, and World War II veteran […] More

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Belgian Man Sits on Toilet 5 Days, Aiming at Record

BELGIAN MAN GETS ATTENTION, TRIES TO SET WORLD RECORD FOR TIME SITTING ON TOILET So I’ve never actually read the book, Waiting for Godot.  But I’m pretty sure I could read the whole thing in one sitting.  And by one sitting, I don’t mean 5 days on a toilet.  But for one Belgian man, he […] More

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Camel Sits on Invasive Woman, Woman Bites Camel’s Testicles

WOMAN INVADES CAMEL ENCLOSURE AT TRUCK STOP, CAMEL SITS ON WOMAN, WOMAN BITES CAMEL TESTICLES So here we go all over again.  Or, maybe not.  But that’s because I’ve never heard of anything like this before.  So here’s the scene.  There’s this truck stop in Louisiana, in Gross Tete, to be exact.  And, as can […] More

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BangBros Porn Site Applies to Rename Miami Heat Arena

BANGBROS PORN SITE MAKES BID TO RENAME MIAMI HEAT ARENA So the Miami Heat have been pretty much screwed ever since Lebron left and Riley screwed up and let Dwayne Wade leave briefly to Chicago.  But now, getting screwed on film could be a new reality for the franchise.  Well, sort of.  But it’s awesome, […] More

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Are You Ready for the World’s First Vagina Museum?

THE WORLD’S FIRST VAGINA MUSEUM SET TO OPEN THIS NOVEMBER IN LONDON So here we go.  There are sex museums aplenty in the world.  But so far, there hasn’t been a museum anywhere dedicated to the Vagina.  But in just a month, the world’s first Vagina Museum will open.  Where?  London, of course.  So if […] More

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Wedding Wasabi Gives Woman Broken Heart Syndrome

WOMAN MISTAKES WASABI FOR AVOCADO, ENDS UP WITH BROKEN HEART SYNDROME Pretty much every time I see the word wasabi, I can’t help but think of those “whasaaaa” commercials from years ago.  But  now, I just may have another association with that spicy green stuff besides my own eating proclivities.  Doctor’s call it broken heart […] More

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Russia Won’t Tell NASA Why There Was a Hole in Soyuz Spacecraft

RUSSIA KNOWS WHY THERE WAS A HOLE LEAKING AIR ON THE ISS, BUT THEY WON’T TELL NASA So you may remember.  This past August, we heard about a hole in the International Space Station.  Well, it wasn’t actually in the ISS.  But there was a hole in the Soyuz Spacecraft docked to the ISS.  So […] More

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Boy Survives Anchor Lodged in Skull, Now Called Anchorman

HIS NAME IS CALEB BENNETT, BUT NOW HIS FRIENDS CALL HIM ANCHORMAN Say what?  His name is Caleb Bennett and the 14-year-old has always loved being on boats.  He’s from Manatee County, Florida.  So naturally, he grew up on the water and regularly took fishing trips with his family.  But then one day, an anchor […] More

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Now Dead Abortion Doctor Kept Thousands of Fetal Remains in Garage

FAMILY OF DECEASED ABORTION DOCTOR MAKE GRISLY DISCOVERY, THOUSANDS OF FETAL REMAINS IN HIS GARAGE This is just slightly disturbing.  There was a doctor who performed abortions in the state of Indiana from a number of years until 2015, when authorities suspended his license.  The now dead abortion practitioner was Dr. Ulrich Klopfer.  During those […] More

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Russian Orthodox Priests Spray City With Holy Water from Plane

RUSSIAN ORTHODOX PRIESTS SPRAY CITY OF TVER WITH HOLEY WATER, FROM PLANE So much for the world not aging well!  But that’s because this story is just too true to ignore.  True and weird as anything else you’ll hear this week, that’s for sure.  The city is Tver, Russia.  It’s located northwest of Moscow, which […] More

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Donald Trump Blames Orange Look on LED Bulbs

DONALD TRUMP GOES THERE, BLAMES LED LIGHT BULBS FOR HIS ORANGE APPEARANCE So I’m not sure the handbasket looks like (not really).  But it sure seems like we’re all heading to hell in one.  How can I tell?  Well, just a few reasons.  But most of them seem to emanate from the narcissistic chaos that […] More

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Man With 2-Day Erection Had Surgery, Thought Penis Would Die

AFTER A 2-DAY ERECTION, AGONY, MAN FEARED HIS PENIS WOULD DIE So I don’t know about you, but a 2-day erection sounds like a bit much.  Even at the relatively young age of 41 (which I remember fairly well!), I wouldn’t have been too freaked out.  Well, until the pain started at least.  And I […] More

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Disgruntled Ex Used a Drone to Drop Explosives on Ex-Girlfriend

PENNSYLVANIA MAN TRIED TO DROP EXPLOSIVE HANDMADE BOMBS ON HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND WITH A DRONE Love can be bittersweet.  But when it is, it’s best to keep yourself together and not to do anything stupid, no matter how jilted you feel.  But for one Pennsylvania man, he didn’t get the memo.  His name is Jason Muzzicato […] More

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Drake Wants Celine Dion Tattoo, She Says Please Don’t

DRAKE SET TO GET A TATTOO OF CELINE DION, BUT SHE SAYS PLEASE DON’T, REALLY So I don’t know much about Drake, aside from his being the Global Ambassador for the current NBA Champion Toronto Raptors.  My real introduction to him was in the NBA playoffs, losing his mind with his (nonexistent) poker face at […] More

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Rhino Flips Over Car, Gamekeeper at Serengeti Safari Park

SERENGETI SAFARI PARK RHINO GETS MAD, FLIPS CAR WITH WOMAN INSIDE OVER, AND OVER Rhinos are amazing and, occasionally, scary creatures.  The first Rhino I ever remember seeing was in an old Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan movie.  Tarzan was dodging a charging rhino, which seemed scary but I had no idea what that creature was.  Now, […] More

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New Hampshire Woman Fights State to Keep PB4WEGO License Plate

NEW HAMPSHIRE SENDS RECALL LETTER FOR “ILLEGAL” PLATE, PB4WEGO So what’s the deal with states and some of their stupid license plate laws?  And New Hampsire, I’m looking at you this time.  Why?  Well, a New Hampshire woman, Wendy Auger, is having to fight the state to keep the vanity license plate she’s had for […] More

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Florida DUI Couple Try Sex in Back of Police Car

DRUNK ON BICYCLES, ARRESTED, DUI COUPLE TRY TO HAVE SEX IN BACK OF POLICE CAR Ah, love.  I would have said ah, youth.  But that’s no excuse for the Florida couple in this story.  You’d think even drunk people would have some judgement, maybe.  But as is all too often the case, it wasn’t true […] More

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Are American and Russian Satellites About to Collide in Orbit?

DID AN AMERICAN SATELLITE AND DEAD RUSSIAN SPY SATELLITE COLLIDE IN ORBIT? So we’ve all watched enough TV and movies to have heard about the dangers of space junk.  But it’s real and it’s sitting over our heads every minute of every day.  Yet we don’t usually think of satellites as space junk.  But what […] More

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Botox Burglar Woman Uses Grinder Saw to Gain Entry

BOTOX BURGLAR BROKE INTO A SPA USING A GRINDER SAW, LEAVES IN HER MERCEDES Ok, Texas, you just might win the crazy news over Florida, if only briefly.  As you can see in the picture above, that woman there is the Botox Burglar.  She drives a light cream color Mercedes Benz.  Surveillance footage showed her […] More

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Japanese Clerk Steals 1,300 Credit Cards With Memorization

JAPANESE CLERK USED MEMORIZATION TO STEAL 1,300 CREDIT CARDS, MAKE ILLICIT PURCHASES So I hate card skimmers, cloners, and all other sorts of nefarious perps that steal our money, even our identities, for their own gain.  I’ve been through it and it’s no walk in the park.  But I must say I’m a little impressed […] More

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Brazilian Indigenous Tribes Defender Murdered, Execution Style

SOMEONE MURDERED A MAN DEDICATED TO DEFENDING BRAZILIAN INDIGENOUS PEOPLES, EXECUTION STYLE So as crazy as things are in the United States and England these days, they’re not as crazy as things are down in Brazil.  But no, this isn’t actually a joke.  As much as the rest of the world is impacted by American […] More

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Mystery: Baltic Sea Underwater Observatory Disappears

UNDERWATER OBSERVATORY FOR SCIENCE IN BALTIC SEA JUST DISAPPEARS, BAFFLING SCIENTISTS So this is a little weird.  I’d say it’s a victimless crime.  But that’s not totally accurate.  But mysterious?  Oh yes, and how.  So you’ve got to know, or at least assume, that scientists all over the world have equipment under our oceans, measuring […] More

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Trump Admin Considers Federal Ban on Vaping Products

WHY IS THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION CONSIDERING A FEDERAL BAN ON VAPING PRODUCTS? So ok, where to begin with this story?  You’ve heard of vaping.  Vaping is the new big thing, especially to deliver nicotine and THC.  So in other words, people vape instead of smoking cigarettes or marijuana.  Vaping is convenient.  Vaping is just that, […] More

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Australia Was Home to Giant Marsupial With Razor Claws

SCIENTISTS INTRODUCE US TO GIANT AUSTRALIAN MARSUPIAL WITH RAZOR CLAWS So I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, learning about crazy critters from the past put my imagination into high gear.  Well, I suppose that hasn’t changed all that much.  But that’s because of recent news about a crazy critter from […] More

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Oxford High School Has to Apologize for Suicide Note Homework

OXFORD HIGH SCHOOL FORCED TO APOLOGIZE FOR SUICIDE NOTE HOMEWORK Sometimes teachers do appallingly stupid things.  But sometimes, stupid means appalling, distasteful, insensitive and outrageous as well.  So this is one of those times.  The high school is the Cheney School, located in Headington, Oxford, England.  GCSE students there received an assignment to study J.B. […] More

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Dutch YouTuber and Friend Arrested at Area 51

A DUTCH YOUTUBER AND HIS BUDDY WANTED TO SEE AREA 51, BUT POLICE ARRESTED THEM INSTEAD I miss the X-Files.  This could totally have been a contemporary episode.  But I’m a little confused about what these two were thinking.  It seems that there was a joke event on Facebook, the “Storm Area 51, They Can’t […] More

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