In More WTF News: Teen Arrested for Writing About Killing Neighbor’s Pet Dinosaur

https://www.theblot.com/wtf-news-teen-arrested-writing-killing-neighbors-pet-dinosaur-7725514

IN MORE WTF NEWS TEEN ARRESTED FOR WRITING ABOUT KILLING NEIGHBOR’S PET DINOSAUR

Teen arrested, is that news?

It is my opinion that people in positions of authority tend to be justifiable targets for mockery. Although in matters of shoes I defer to the opinion of the bootmaker; I don’t put much stock in authority as a concept — especially when that authority arises not from knowledge but from force.

As I result, I know in my bones that a great many police officers and school administrators lack the common sense God gave a goose. The latest proof of their dumbassery comes from Summerville, S.C., where a 16 year old was suspended from school and taken away by the police in handcuffs. His crime? In a class writing assignment, he said he had killed his neighbor’s pet dinosaur, buying a gun to take care of the business.

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Alex Stone attends Summerville High School, and his lawyer, David Aylor, released a statement that said, “This is a perfect example of ‘political correctness’ that has exceeded the boundaries of common sense. Students were asked to write about themselves and a creative Facebook status update — just days into the new school year — and my client was arrested and suspended after a school assignment.”

The young Mr. Stone told WCSC-TV news that in the status update he wrote, “I killed my neighbor’s pet dinosaur, and, then, in the next status I said I bought the gun to take care of the business.”

Capt. Jon Rogers of the local police department countered with a statement that read, “The information that is being reported is grossly incorrect in reference to what led to the juvenile being charged. The charges do not stem from anything involving a dinosaur or writing assignment, but the student’s conduct.”

Well, now, Cap’n Jon, I am calling you out on that one. Liar, liar, pants on fire, nose as long as a telephone wire.

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The truth is that those charges would not have arisen if the teacher had not freaked over the word “gun,” if the asshats in the school office hadn’t called the local constabulary and if your underlings had exercised any kind of common sense in dealing with this kind of bovine excrement.

What we have here is a failure of adulthood.

WCSC reported, “Summerville police officials say Stone’s book bag and locker were searched on Tuesday, and a gun was not found. According to police, when Stone was asked by school officials about the comment written on the assignment, he became ‘very irate’ and said it was a joke. A Summerville Police Department report states that Stone continued to be disruptive and was placed in handcuffs, and was told that he was being detained for disturbing schools.”

So, the kid writes about killing his neighbor’s dinosaur, gets called to the office, and the police turn up. I don’t know about you, but “very irate” would not begin to describe my feelings were I on the receiving end of such weapons-grade stupidity. I am pretty sure my response would be along the lines of, “Are you effing kidding me?”

And then there is “Continued to be disruptive?” I’m pretty sure the disruption began when Alex was pulled from class and confronted by the cops — and Alex wasn’t the one doing the disrupting. He was going about his business of being a 16-year-old boy — not a job I’d want ever again.

Attorney Aylor says he’s seeking to appeal the suspension and “proceed with the legal issues of [Stone’s] arrest.” I should hope so, at very least.

Of course, I take my First Amendment rights damned seriously as I use them to earn a living. Alex needs to get the suspension tossed, the arrest tossed and a restraining order against the police and the school administration against future score-settling abuse (I know how small towns in America work).

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Then, I’d see about suing the police officers and school bureaucrats as individual tortfeasors (defamation of character, false arrest and half a dozen other things), and I’d want some resignations as part of any settlement along with the usual apologies published in the local paper. And if I could find an appropriate section in the South Carolina penal code, I’d have them all in the stocks for public abuse and humiliation — eye for an eye, you know?

And in case they missed it, I’d just like to inform the faculty of the high school and all members of the police department down there, the DINOSAURS ARE EXTINCT! Please, lighten the hell up.

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