Viagra Plant in Irish Town Causing Erection Epidemic

Viagra Plant in Irish Town Causing Erection Epidemic

PFIZER PLANT GIVES EVERY MAN AND BEAST A VIAGRA HARD-ON

The Irish love getting a rise out of people.  It’s a long tradition.  But Pfizer’s production line of Viagra is getting a rise out of everyone in the area.  It’s a story of airs making things go up, literally.  For the last 20 years Viagra has been made in Ringaskiddy, Co. Cork, Ireland.  But now, just taking a deep breath is all you need to achieve an erection in the area.  We do mean the area.  Everyone walking near the Pfizer plant is sporting a stiffy.

LOVE FUMES KEEP LOCALS HAPPY, SATISFIED FOR YEARS

Local villagers are up in arms over the Viagra plant’s fumes.  These love fumes have most notably impacted area men as well as man’s best friends.  Men and dogs shake a leg outside and take a leg up, every time.  One deep sigh and a short walk becomes a long one.  A local barmaid, Debbie O’Grady, in an interview said, “One whiff and you’re stiff. We’ve been getting the love fumes for years now for free.”  Blue skies near the Pfizer plant make every man upwardly mobile.

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MAYBE DON’T GIVE A DOG A BONE

O’Grady’s mother also chimed in, explaining that the air in Ringaskiddy has been a boon for men with “problems in that department.”  While the Irish Spirit has never been stronger, she also says there’s just “something in the air.”  She wistfully explained, “I’m a flirtatious woman, a lot of us are. You just have to have a spark and an erection, that’s all. There’s a lovely man waiting down the road for me.”  But in Ringaskiddy, it’s every man waiting down every road.  And your little dog Toto, too.

CORK LOCALS CAN’T PUT A CORK IN ERECTION

Pfizer put on no airs about the put-out airs, issuing a statement that the “stiff whiff” was just an erection myth.  Pfizer also made sure to let everyone know there were no hard feelings.  “Our manufacturing processes have always been highly sophisticated as well as highly regulated,” they said.  Others wonder if something nefarious is going on.  In any event, tourists who need a leg up and have some wanderlust might want to visit a particular area near the Pfizer plant in Ringaskiddy.

Visitors arrive with a stiff upper lip.  There’s no word about how visitors leave, but it’s surely an instant downward dog.  And that’s no stretch.

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