Many world leaders are cheapskates, even ones from wealthy and developed countries, dress terribly and often look like a hot mess. Both living and passed leaders can fit this description, and there is a wealth of material on both.
Historically, there is the Communist with their drab olive-green fatigues look, favored by longtime dictators Fidel Castro and Mao Zedong. On the other side of the globe were leaders like President Richard Nixon, who perpetually looked as if all his casual clothes were purchased in a discount bin at some knock-off department store in the Midwest.
Here I take a look at the Top 5 most terrifying threads (and non-leadership-looking photos) of some of the most infamous world leaders, so here then is the hot-mess world leaders club.
First up, the dead guys:
1. Kim Jong-il
Here is the late North Korean dictator suspiciously eyeing some pizza dough like he has never seen it before, does not trust it and suspects it of containing poison. Hey, like Joseph Heller wrote in “Catch 22,” just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.
2. Muammar Gaddaffi
In addition to being the former feared and despotic maniacal leader of Libya, this dictator likes to wear women’s makeup apparently.
3. Hugo Chavez
Here’s the former Venezuelan president with fellow lefty extremists, the Castro brothers, in a track suit with his country’s colors adorned proudly. Yeah, represent your hood, but damn …
4. Richard Nixon
Um, wow. Well, first of all, check out how high up his pants are. How can he breathe? Seriously, the U.S. President could not find any better gear to wear than this bought-on-sale-from Marshall’s ensemble?
5. Mao Zedong
Here he is in the usual Communist leader standard-issue green military outfit looking very stylish. And in the picture it seems he is “voting” — for some new clothes, perhaps.
Now onto the living:
1. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
This frightening Holocaust denier and former president of Iran is a man of the people. Here he is pictured taking the bus to work. Hopefully the commute won’t be delayed by traffic or someone would be in serious trouble for sure. I’ve heard despots can be very serious about getting to work on time. After all, freedom can’t crush itself.
2. Fidel Castro
Give the man credit, when Castro found a look he liked, he stuck it through until the end. The drab, olive-green military look never goes out of style — for dictators at least. Here Castro seems to be giving an I’ll-turn-this-car-around-if-you-don’t-behave-in-the-backseat admonition. Except if Castro’s involved, there could be some Cuban officials he is not pleased with back there, and instead going back home, whoever he is talking to could be driven to prison for disagreeing or finding a small fault with the Guerrilla president (or even criticizing his favorite style of dress).
3. Kim Jong-un
Keeping a beleaguered population in line is a full-time job for North Korea’s Dear Leader. When the day has ended and all the torture and propaganda is done, he obviously likes to get some fresh air on the terrace and show off that terrible, just awful haircut. He likes expensive imported European cheeses, but can’t find someone in a country of millions that can give him a good trim? I hope he didn’t tip. Or maybe he figured not locking up the barber was generous enough?
4. Vladimir Putin
This scary leader is probably one of that last people who should be photographed brandishing a weapon. Maybe he was thinking, “Hey, I’m not perceived as intimidating or macho enough.” Actually, ahem, correction, no one wants to try you, Mr. Putin. I think we are all clear that you are a badass.
And could this be a before-and-after? I know it looks like he is planting a tree, but it’s definitely possible he is hiding evidence or something even more frightening, like nuclear warheads or body parts following some gunplay gone wrong.
5. John Howard
This former Australian Prime Minister doesn’t seem like he likes to smile, in fact, it appears quite painful for him. And what is he holding in the left picture anyway? Is it a cricket bat or some Aussie butt-hitting ritual implement, similar to the boot that famously kicked Bart Simpson in the rear after he offended the entire nation?
Noah Zuss is a reporter for TheBlot Magazine.