Three Ways to Become an Elevated Stoner

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As marijuana becomes more legal and mainstream,it's time to add some to your grass. Here's how to become a more (ahem) high-end stoner.
As marijuana becomes more legal and mainstream, it’s time to add some class to your grass. Here’s how to become a more (ahem) high-end stoner.

Now that marijuana is becoming more legal and mainstream, it’s time to add a little class to your grass.

If a stoner can put on a clean sweater and be a weed expert and a dealer can have a bunch of weed in plastic cubes and be an entrepreneur, there’s no reason you can’t become a cannabisseur or stonerlier. Gone are the days of smoking a doobie in an alley when you can have a truly … (ahem) … high-end experience.

Acquiring Accoutrements

You may need some tools for your new life as an elevated stoner. To get the best use from your weed, you’ll want to get a grinder to pulverize the marijuana and increase the surface area. It also collects the most product possible for you, including a fine powder at the bottom that offers stronger effects. If you decide to smoke it, you may want to invest in an artfully made glass-blown pipe or elaborately made bong. You can purchase these at tobacco smoke shops or even on Amazon (hell, even on many New York City street corners). Rather than buying the first thing available, it’s worth doing research and finding the right item for you.

The Hows & Whys to Vaporize

Smoking is bad for you. We all know that. As nicotine addicts embrace e-cigarettes and vape pens, there’s no reason to not avoid the tars and carcinogens of smoking. There are THC concentrates that you can attach to a vape pen, but vaporizing might be your best best. Vaporizers will cook your weed almost like a smoker. You’re able to inhale and still get the same amount of THC; however, you get the added bonus of being able to use your spent marijuana in making edibles. The added bang for your buck more than makes up for the price of your vaporizer.

There are multiple types of vaporizers. Some run on butane, others are electric, and there are desktop and portable versions, too. A great model that is worth its slightly steep price is the Pax Vaporizer by Ploom. Despite looking like a futuristic kazoo, this electric vaporizer is simple to use and clean and offers a truly uplifting experience. It’s easy to charge, and its color-coated lights communicate when it’s charged and when it’s ready to give you your medicine. You simply charge it, load your ground marijuana in the small oven at the bottom, and then simply — and gently — inhale. Then simply lather, rinse, repeat.

Read more: So You Want to Get a Medical Marijuana Card … 

Weed Cuisine

Vaporizing will provide you with an abundance of spent-but-still-usable weed. Fat and dairy, most commonly from butter, can help your body process THC and cannabinoids. To make edibles, you’ll want to cook the marijuana with whatever butter or fat source you choose. You can use Irish butter for its high-fat content, all-natural peanut butter or, if you’re feeling vegan, you can try coconut oil or vegan butter. You can cook the marijuana slowly with your fat substitute over hours for the THC to enter into the blend. You may want to use a double boiler for a more tempered process, or you can try cooking it outright for the nutty flavor of brown butter. You can then use it in your favorite recipes. It’s simple enough to include it in place of butter for your favorite pastry recipes or even in culinary dishes. Why not make a creme brulee, cookie or even pad Thai?

Your only concern as an elevated stoner should be the potency of your new weed cuisine. It’s an imprecise process and unclear how it will affect you. When cooking with marijuana, you’ll want to do your best to create bite-sized items that will regulate the dosage of THC you may get. After all, it’s not dignified to trip balls.

These are just a few ways you can bring panache to your stash. As marijuana becomes more mainstream, there’s no reason why we can’t be a little dignified in how we get high.

Frank Lee Tolde is a contributing journalist for TheBlot Magazine

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