Three Crazy Causes People Actually Got Behind

Some causes people support make us scratch our head, especially when they're Sisyphean, like trying to get Italy to stop making its tasty pork products.
Some causes people support make us scratch our head, especially when they’re Sisyphean, like trying to get Italy to stop making its tasty pork products.

A woman in Italy has made it her life’s mission to save all the pigs in the country from becoming delicious hams, capicola, soppressata and salami. And she is doing a lot of good work, the BBC reported, saving abused animals from more suffering.

Her goal and the sheer difficulty of saving pigs in a country that is crazy for pork brings to mind other seemingly impossible causes, wacky charities and the image of Sisyphus pushing the boulder up a mountain. For those not well versed in the classics, Sisyphus, a tragic figure of Greek mythology, was a trickster who was sentenced to his repetitive fate by the gods for stealing their secrets and treating them with disrespect.

Though not all the efforts below fit nicely into the Sisyphean definition, they are all easy to make fun of, unlikely to get many inspired behind them and certainly out of the mainstream of what most people would support. These are not to support suffering children or abused animals, these are the strangest and least necessary — in my humble opinion — charitable causes and assistance efforts.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), for example, while also supporting very meaningful and relevant causes such as ending factory farming of animals, also has efforts in this category. This whole list technically could only cover PETA’s sometimes out-there causes, but that would look like I am attacking animal rights advocates.

So have a good laugh making fun of these three, it won’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Because there are many efforts people make, like the woman trying to save the pigs from becoming delicious sandwiches, that are not only doomed to fail, but unrealistic and maybe even pointless in the Sisyphean sense.

PETA LOBSTER EMPATHY

(Cracked.com Photo)
(Cracked.com photo)

When the evil lobster-eating town of Skowhegan, Maine, put its jail up for sale, PETA wanted to lease it to open a “Lobster Empathy Center.” The group placed a bid to lease the space and, to explain its reasoning, wrote, “A prison is the perfect setting to demonstrate how lobsters suffer when they are caught in traps or confined to cramped, filthy supermarket tanks.”

Despite these efforts, lobsters continue to be eaten and enjoyed. The space was eventually sold to another bidder, stealing the assumed thousands of visitors who would surely rush to visit and clamor for the chance to “wrap their hands in giant rubber bands for the duration of their stay,” as one of the “attractions” at the center would have been.

PLUTO IS A PLANET SUPPORTERS

(Seattleastronomy.org Photo)
(Seattleastronomy.com photo)

Oh, Pluto. Has something so tiny and far away ever caused this much controversy? First it was a planet, then it wasn’t, and now with NASA’s New Horizons mission mapping its moons during a flyby, it might be again.

Supporters, including organizations like the Society for the Preservation of Pluto as a Planet (SP3) amateur astronomers and professionals, advocate that it be included in the solar system as a full member. SP3’s website describes members as “dedicated to the proposition that Pluto has been and always should be considered a planet.” Well if they get their way, it’s sure to be a big victory. I’m sure we have all been waiting on this for years and can’t wait until this interplanetary controversy is resolved. How can anyone sleep with this on their minds?

TALL CLUBS INTERNATIONAL

(Sacramentotallclub.org Photo)
(Sacramentotallclub.org Photo)

Tall people never get any breaks, right? Even if that were true, Tall Clubs International (TCI) has made it its mission to support the tall and very-tall alike so they are not discriminated against in our tall-hating society.

Its stated purpose is “to promote tall awareness among tall men and women, and in the community.” Its various websites and associations boast clubs with nearly 50 members and approximately 1,300 members across the United States and Canada. Each year, the clubs meet socially, travel to group events with other clubs and even hold a convention to select a “Miss Tall International.” She serves as “the official public representative and goodwill ambassador for TCI.”

Noah Zuss is a reporter for TheBlot Magazine.

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