COVID AIN’T CANCELLING THE TEXAS TESTICLE FESTIVAL IN THE PANDEMIC YEAR, 2020
So have you ever been to a ball? Ok, cheap shot. Or, maybe, it just came too early. Premature…. Humor. But yes, the title did not lie. There is a Texas Testicle Festival in the year 2020. And somehow, the Coronavirus failed to cancel it. It’s hard to stop all those balls rolling. Sorry, too soon? But on August 1, 2020, you can go have a ball (well, more than just one) so long as you are Covid free. No, really, it’s a Texas testicle festival. If you want to chow down on pure choice protein, this is the place to get it on.
Read More: Berlin May Ban Deodorant on Mass Transit to Encourage Masks
A TESTICLE IS A DELICACY, ACCORDING TO MANY HUNGRY FOR MORE BALLS, SOME ON A STICK
So where in Texas is this ballahoo occurring? Fredericksburg. And yes, it has happened before. There was already one this year already? Before the pandemic, of course. But the fervor has only snowballed, even in Texas. So organizers are making sure another Texas Testicle Festival happens again. Come again? Please do. So why, do you ask, would people want to go to this. Well, it turns out, animal testicles are a delicacy to many people. This is true, all over the world! I can only imagine trying them fried, like in the picture. Deep fried and breaded. Hot sauce and ketchup, please. And yes, I am now sweating. Call it spicy injected male hormone.
GET YOUR TESTICLES BATTERED, FRIED AND GRILLED, SMOTHER THEM HOW YOU LIKE
So the next installment of the testicle treatments will be on an 85-acre spread at 7905 Old San Antonio Road. According to one of the organizers, Claire Ball, they wanted to attract more than the 150 folks who came to the first one. And yes, that is really her name. She’s not just the hair club president. But so far, not too many folks have RSVP’d. Just 20 have bought testicle festival tickets so far. They’re hoping for at least 10 more, minimum. Ball said that they considered calling it a protest, “but we just don’t have the balls.” So what kinds of balls are there? Turkey balls were really popular. But expect lamb and veal as well. But no bull. You can get them battered, fried and grilled.