Sweden to Russian Subs: ‘This Way If You Are Gay!’

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To deter Russian subs from entering its waters, Sweden deployed a device that invites the anti-gay country's fleet to come 'This way if you are gay.' (ABCNews.go.com photo)
To deter Russian subs from entering its waters, Sweden deployed a device that invites the anti-gay country’s fleet to come ‘This way if you are gay.’ (ABCNews.go.com photo)

Are you dealing with a big, Russian bear of a bully? Ever try gay Morse code and a shirtless dancing sailor in pink neon?

OK. If we are keeping score, the Swedish navy has a relatively small fleet composed of just five submarines, some minesweepers and some coastal defense vessels. Now let’s compare that to the Russian fleet, boasting more than 55 submarines, an aircraft carrier, dozens of destroyers … well, you get the picture.

So, how does Sweden, a non-NATO country, compete with Mother Russia? Well, it can’t. But how do you get Russian President Vladimir Putin’s military, intent on getting all up in everyone’s national grill, and his subs out of your waters? Gay morse code, of course!


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Meet Sweden’s dancing sailor (just wait until mark :49 — it’s well worth it)!

In a nutshell, last year, Sweden was getting a little miffed, to say the least, when its military began to detect a foreign submarine in its waters. The Swedish military got even more annoyed when many thought the subs to be Russian, a harkening back to Cold War days and further evidence of Putin reasserting himself and Russia’s power across the globe.

Last week, intent on making Russia as uncomfortable as a closeted frat boy at a leather bar, the Swedish Peace and Arbitration Society (SPAS), “a religiously and politically independent organization that works to abolish all wars,” began transmitting a Morse code message to submarines within its waters. “This way if you are gay,” the message states before ending with the prideful statement, “Sweden: Gay Since 1944.” The latter line is in reference to when the country, which was among the first to do so, removed homosexuality as a crime from its penal code. (Again, if we’re keeping score, the United States crossed this line in 2003.)

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The message is quite tailored for Russia as the country is one of the most homophobic on the planet. In many instances, the tone and tenor against its LGBT citizens is set from the top down, and, in some cases, from Putin himself. Sweden knows what it’s doing.

Just how is the message transmitted? A type of sonar-emitting/gay-vibe sending device is lowered in the location of the previous submarine sittings. The SPAS’s Daniel Holking added that “if there is a submarine down there and there is a crew member who hears or sees the sailor, they are welcome to join us in the Pride Parade on August 1 in Stockholm.” SPAS is also critical of the Swedish government. Many residents in the country are backing plans to increase military spending in the face of growing Russian aggression. The SPAS wishes to remind all that there are more creative and effective ways to deal with conflict.


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The video ends with this message: “If weapons had functioned as a conflict solving method … there would have been peace in the world a long time ago.”

True. Besides, when did you last see a fight in a gay bar?

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