Donated Parrots Removed From Park For Swearing At Visitors

DONATED PARROTS AT WILDLIFE PARK HAVE TO LEAVE, FOR SWEARING AT VISITORS

Polly doesn’t want a cracker.  Give Polly a fucking cracker now!  So you know, I’ve heard some good jokes about parrots that curse and swear.  But I never thought I’d ever be writing about this in real life.  So here are the deets.  In eastern England, there’s a wildlife park with the name Lincolnshire Wildlife Park.  And, to be fair, it sounds like a nice place to visit.  They have all sorts of animals you can see there.  It must be fun for the whole family kind of place.  But someone donated five parrots and it went, well, kind of sideways.  Because not only did these parrots know how to talk, they knew how to swear.  And that they did, at visitors, no less.  It was such a problem, the park removed them.

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FUCK OFF, YOU’RE A FAT TWAT, ONLY SOME OF THE INSULTS THESE PARROTS LOVE

So sure, the donated parrots swore at staff, as well.  Give me a fucking cracker!  You have to admit, it’s kind of funny.  Well, unless that’s your kid the parrots are giving an R-Rated movie pass to.  But some of the staff didn’t love it too much, which is fair.  Having parrots call you a fat twat every time you walk by can get old real, real fast.  Even if you’re a skinny twat.  So anyway, all five parrots are African grey parrots.  And if you know parrots, you know they are smart and highly interactive.  But here’s where it gets even more interesting.  Five different people donated these parrots!

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SOME VISITORS LOVED THE VERBAL ABUSE, BUT THE PARK REMOVED THE VULGAR BIRDS FOR NOW

So how is it that they all curse and swear?  Well, they all arrived at the park in the same week and stayed together in quarantine.  But by the time they went on display to the visiting public, 4 of them had learned from the naughty one how to swear.  Like, all the time.  So far, it’s still a mystery which donated parrot threw a stink bomb on the whole affair; Eric, Jade, Elsie, Tyson or Billy?  But not everyone minded the parrots’ antics.  Many visitors enjoyed hurling epithets right back at them.  But that only increased the birds’ vocabulary!  So thinking of the children, the park removed the parrots. 

So what’s happening with these parrots?  They separated the birds for now, hoping that will break the cycle of swearing.  And if everyone’s lucky, they will be back on display.  Not chastened, but hopefully more polite.

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