Two Ugly Chicks, Surviving 27: Will Lindsay and Amanda Make It?

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Two Ugly Chicks, Surviving 27: Will Lindsay and Amanda Make It?

Last year, I threw a 27 Club-themed birthday party at my place. The party honored everyone’s favorite artists (mainly musicians and vocalists) who passed at the young age of 27, while also exploring the idea that I myself could join the list. Let’s be honest. A year later, I found myself not being nearly cool enough as I approached 28.

With that being said, I ask, “Who could join the famous list of fallen stars next?” As morbid as it sounds, the idea of predicting the next victim is oddly intriguing. The most recent member is Richard Turner, a trumpet player and collaborator for the rock band Friendly Fires. He passed away on Aug. 11, 2011, with the cause of death being listed as cardiac arrest. Amy Winehouse, probably the biggest star of recent years found on the list, died just days before Turner due to alcohol poisoning. When thinking of today’s prospects, two names come to mind: Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes.  Now, you might be thinking, “They don’t have music careers, silly!” Before we write them off, though, I think we should take a trip down memory lane.

Lindsay Lohan

Where she’s been: Besides her acting, Lindsay is well known for her arrests and multiple stints in various drug rehab centers. However, we can’t forget Lindsay’s debut album, “Speak,” which produced the hits “Rumors” and “Over” back in 2004/2005.

Where she is now: This past summer, Lindsay completed 90 days of rehab at the Betty Ford and Cliffside centers in California. In the last couple months, she has hosted an episode of “Chelsea Lately,” appeared on “Eastbound & Down,” and is collecting a $2 million paycheck for her docu-series with Oprah.

Odds of making the list: Next to zero. Lindsay is actually in pretty good shape, and is making a stronger effort than we’ve seen in the past. She has been working closely with a sober coach and has been clean (while her mother is getting busted for drunk driving). Even if she does relapse, Lindsay’s ability to survive is comparable to a cockroach during a nuclear explosion.

Amanda Bynes

Where she’s been: Also known for her acting career, Amanda got her start on the children’s TV show “All That” in the ’90s and has gone on to do several other shows and films. Believe it or not, her voice also hit the charts when she played Penny Pingleton in the 2007 movie musical “Hairspray.”

Where she is now: Amanda was being held under Section 5150 (also known as an involuntary psychiatric hold) at UCLA Medical Center. She recently moved to a new rehabilitation center, which caters to celebrities. Although there have been some small signs of improvement, she is still far from being well. Amanda is expected to be suffering from schizophrenia.

Odds of making the list: Also next to zero. Both Amanda’s doctors and parents have a close eye on her. Even if she isn’t completely well, it doesn’t look like anyone is going to allow her to do any damage to herself. If you’re shacked up somewhere away from all potential dangers you have a better chance of survival.

At a glance, there doesn’t seem to be any strong candidates over the next several months. Then again, Lady Gaga has broken more bones than charts in the last year.

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