Among the many things I like about being a married man in my 50s (I stress early 50s) is the fact that I don’t have to deal with dating websites. Clearly a product of my generation, I simply can’t imagine meeting someone via the Internet for the specific purpose of developing a romantic relationship. You kids, though, are different (kids = under-40s). There are websites for singles all over the Internet, and some specialize in niche interests. If you are a Christian, there are websites where you will meet other Christians only. Various sites cater to a wide variety of ethnic groups. People who live in the country even have their own.
A new one came to my attention, though, that really horrified me. The Amazing Kreskin has a dating website just for people who believe in the supernatural. Why horrified? Because, dear reader, I don’t believe in much of anything. No God, no devil, no angels, no psychic phenomenon, no aliens in flying saucers. Simply put, if you can’t measure it in some way, you really don’t have proof. And I have worked a long time in politics, where even when you have proof, it may be smoke and mirrors anyway. Put it another way, why should I believe in things I can’t see what I don’t believe a lot of the stuff I have seen?
As for personal experience, I am sure many people have had experiences we can’t explain — hallucinations tend to work that way.
So, how do I explain this, that or the other? I don’t. Lots of stuff happens that we poor humans don’t have the knowledge to explain yet. But here’s my point. No one can explain those phenomena, so don’t pretend you can by making up stuff about demons and aliens and yeti. I can’t rule them out, but you can’t rule them in.
Frankly, I would give anything for proof of God, ghosts or any of that. The world would be much more interesting and exciting. But wishing doesn’t make it so.
Back to the website, I will let the homepage speak for itself:
“A doorway is about to swing open. It welcomes you to join a very unique group of men and women who, in many instances, have secretly maintained an ongoing interest in anything that defies a conventional explanation (and I really mean anything).
“Makes no difference whether it’s visitations by aliens, haunted houses, extra sensory perception, astrology, mind control, curses, spirit healing, vampires, zombies, prophecy, contacting the dead, mind reading and anything in between.
“Can I really be suggesting a social dating society directed specifically to people interested in all of the forementioned [sic] areas? Absolutely!”
Apparently, these people have a hard time in the dating world. Mention that you’ve had aliens probe your rectum, and well, that’s a lot to deal with on a first date. I mean, if herpes and AIDS aren’t off-putting enough, what about an extra-terrestrial sexually transmitted disease (ET STD)? A few experiences with people who don’t believe your proctologist is from a small planet orbiting Tau Ceti, and you’re back on the couch for life watching “The X-Files” — which you can prove was a documentary series, and THEY wanted to let you know that THEY knew that you knew what THEY were up to.
The website says, “these folks would like nothing more than to meet other people with whom they can discuss their thoughts, beliefs, and experiences without compromise … without fear of embarrassment. They want to speak openly to a special someone who will listen, understand their feelings, and react appropriately.” Let’s skip the fact that “acting appropriately” would mean getting professional help.
And just who is the Amazing Kreskin? Well, he’s been an entertainer for decades, a man who has a pretty well-polished and convincing act as a mindreader. Unless you’re a fan of Penn & Teller (who can debunk stuff in less than 10 minutes), it’s quite easy to believe this octogenarian has special mind-reading powers. As near as I can tell, he’s a master of what is known as the “cold read.” TheBlot has even interviewed him. So, his brand on this site is likely to make it a commercial success.
Whether it brings anyone romantic success is harder to determine. After all, just because I believe in astrology and vampires doesn’t mean I am going to get along with someone who is an Area 51 fanatic. And just because you believe in ESP doesn’t mean someone else who believes in it is a good life partner for you.
What is great is that this site would allow me (were I single) to avoid all of those girls (or boys were I inclined that way) who believe in this nonsense. By attracting them to Kreskin’s site, they would less likely turn up on the other sites. I wouldn’t encounter the girls I knew in high school who wore black before Goth was invented, you know, the ones who are pretty sure they were witches in their previous lives. I won’t have to consider a camping vacation in Oregon to look for Big Foot (my idea of roughing it is a four-star hotel in a city smaller than San Francisco). I won’t have to attend Comic-Con looking for real aliens. If I got a serious disease, I wouldn’t have my girlfriend recommend crystal power healing; instead, she would take me New York Presbyterian for treatment that actually works. I could continue cooking with garlic knowing that my girlfriend isn’t under the delusion that she’s a vampire.
Unfortunately, this isn’t foolproof. No matter what site I used, I’d probably run into women who believe in mind reading. “You know exactly what I am talking about. You know exactly what you did!” Nope, not a clue.
That reminds me, I should buy my wife some flowers for saving me from the singles scene in the 21st century.
Jeff Myhre is a contributing journalist for TheBlot Magazine.