US STRATEGIC COMMAND NEW YEAR’S TWEETS ABOUT BOMBING THE SHIT OUT OF THE WORLD
So someone at the US Strategic Command better take a note, like now. Remember to put “Don’t tweet about Armageddon Power as a joke on New Year’s Eve.” Doesn’t that sound good? Let’s hope they write it down. But then let’s hope they actually remember not to send any Tweets about how they can destroy the world, Happy New Year, hahaha. Right? So what is this agency? The US Strategic Command is who oversees all the big stuff. Cyber warfare, preventing the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, nuclear deterrence and the command, control and communications for it all. They are big brother with the biggest gun in human kind.
TWEETED VIDEO OF BOMBERS AND MASSIVE EXPLOSION, HAHA HA
So on New Year’s Eve, they sent out a tweet with a video of B-2 Stealth Bombers dropping some large ass ordinance. The video was accompanied by the flashing words, “STEALTH,” “READY,” and “LETHAL.” Stratcom’s tweet read, “#TimesSquare tradition rings in the #NewYear by dropping the big ball…if ever needed, we are #ready to drop something much, much bigger.” They also added, “Watch to the end! @AFGlobalStrike @Whiteman_AFB #Deterrence #Assurance #CombatReadyForce #PeaceIsOurProfession…” So of course, the end of the video is a massive explosion. Great job, guys. I think you may have fucked up your year for non-proliferation.
US STRATEGIC COMMAND DELETES, THEN LATER APOLOGIZES FOR STUPID, ADOLESCENT POWER TWEET
So US Strategic Command did, of course, delete the tweet when some adults got wind of the stinky fallout. But the internet never forgets, anything. US Strategic Command then later apologized before the New Year actually rang in. They said that the tweet was “in poor taste & does not reflect our values.” Ok, that’s nice to hear. So be sure to work on that To Do List for this year, guys. And try not to end the world with a tweet, ok? We have a president for that right now.