THE SPORT OF SPERM RACING IS ABOUT TO BE A REAL SPECTATOR SPORT SOON IN LOS ANGELES
People love sports. And lately, people really love betting on sports. And some sports aren’t even really sports! But market investments aside, there’s about to be a new sport the likes of which we’ve never seen before: sperm racing. That’s right, which sperm is faster? A new startup has somehow put together $1 million to launch the motility question and answer race. Feminists will either shake their heads in disgust, or laugh out loud and watch the ponies cross the finish line. You don’t have to understand it, but you do have to accept that this is really happening soon in Los Angeles.
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WILL MEN WANT TO TEST THEIR MOTILITY PROWESS LIVESTREAMED FOR ALL TO SEE?
Sperm Racing co-founder Eric Zhu explained design dynamics, saying, “We’ve designed a microscopic racetrack that mimics the reproductive system—chemical signals, fluid dynamics, synchronized starts. High-resolution cameras track every microscopic move. it’s all live-streamed, complete with stats, leaderboards, and instant replays.” In other words, you can literally stream the, ah, multiple streams live as the races proceed. So far, it seems that the expected first audience will include at least 1,000 spectators. I can’t help but wonder how many men will want to participate, and see for themselves their manly prowess on a microscopic scale in Sperm Racing.
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SPERM RACING HOPES TO HIGHLIGHT THE WORLDWIDE 50% DECLINE IN SPERM COUNTS
And sure, yes, this is sort of a publicity stunt. Because part of the rationale for Sperm Racing is to call attention to the fact that the human male population the world over is part of an increasingly alarming decline in sperm counts. And, it’s a lot. Since the 1970’s, the world’s human male sperm count has dropped by 50%. If that continues to be a trend, Sperm Racing could make us all the more aware that we could have a major problem with population decline, soon. Crazy, right? Take a look at Sperm Racing’s manifesto for more information.
