Pornhub Can’t Get It Up For Space Porno Film Shoot

Pornhub Can’t Get It Up For Space Porno Film Shoot

SPACE PORNO DREAM ALIVE?

Porn is everywhere on the internet.  Actually, porn is everywhere, period.  Everyone watches porn, even if they don’t admit it. Porn is for everyone. Because every audience watches porn.  Porn has been filmed everywhere, too.  Except no one has made a porn in space!  Yet.  Pornhub hopes to change that by crowdfunding a space porno film shoot in space.  That’s out of this world.  Who doesn’t want to have orbital sex?

FILM SHOOT IN SPACE UNPRECEDENTED

There are a lot of reasons to jump up about the idea.  No one has filmed zero gravity sex, either.  Or has it been?  But everyone has ideas about sex in zero gravity.  So Pornhub hopes to get a rise out of everybody with a crowdfunding campaign.  They want to shoot a space porno 68 miles above the earth.  They hope to use a private space shuttle service, such as Virgin Atlantic.

PORNHUB WANTED TO MAKE BIG, ORBITAL SEX EXPLOSION

Pornhub called it the “Sexpoloration” campaign.  But it needed $3.4 million to get the production up.  The campaign ran for 30 days but ended with a flaccid $236,086 from two eager beaver backers.  You can’t shoot a sex scene in a paraglider for that.  Orbital sex scene shoots cost more.  The inability to finish, never mind start, left everyone disappointed.

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WILL STARS EVA LOVIA AND JOHNNY SINS HANG AROUND?

The two stars that would have claimed the 68-mile-high first badge were Eva Lovia and Johnny Sins.  Their colossal coital would have changed our idea of porn forever.  But now we will still have to wait to learn of the rigors, and thrills, of zero gravity sex.  Lovia, then 26, was eager to claim the badge of honor.  “The bragging rights alone are worth it,” she told media. “We don’t know if any astronauts have had sex in space, so we’d be the first to publicly admit it.”

LOVIA STILL HOPES TO MAKE DEEP SEA WET DREAM

But Lovia hasn’t even joined the mile-high club.  Mostly, she thinks having to bang in the bathroom is just too icky.  But she did have ideas of what could come next if the “Sexploration” had truly gotten off.  “I’m thinking about deep sea exploration,” she said.  So far, there’s no word if the Mile Low club will make a big splash on the screen with that film shoot.  But, here’s hoping what goes down, comes up again!

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