NOW THERE’S A SMART TOILET THAT CAN IDENTIFY YOUR ANALPRINT AND KNOW ALL YOUR POTTY PATTERNS?
So I’m all for technology and advancing how we can use things better. But, of course, there are always caveats when it comes to unintended consequences. Just think of identify theft, privacy and Facebook all by itself upending democratic norms. But this here is an arena I never considered to be at risk! And I’m not talking about what’s on the other hand here. I’m talking about what’s on your other end, and what comes out of it. Because now there’s a smart toilet that can track your potty patterns. As in, how many times you pee and poo and where. But even more? This smart toilet can identify a person’s analprint! I don’t want to think about my analprint! Or yours, for that matter.
SURE, YOUR POTTY PATTERNS CAN HELP WITH HEALTHCARE, BUT MY ANALPRINT STAYS UNDER WRAPS
But here we are. Because it’s happening. And you need to think about this more than just a little. If you have an analprint, and you do, to identify it means something needs to actually see it. That means an eye, or in this case a camera. So yes, a smart toilet that can identify your unique bunghole will be looking at it. But it can also differentiate between poo and pee. Yet for health professionals, there is even more health data to, um, analyze. As in, the quality and quantity of your poo and pee. Are you eating a lot of roughage? You get the idea. Are you drinking too much booze? Now you’re really getting the idea.
AT ISSUE HERE IS THAT ALL THAT DATA, INCLUDING ANALPRINT, WILL BE IN THE HACKABLE CLOUD….
So yes, these data points could be very helpful when it comes to tracking and improving people’s health. But considering how this would work, there are some things to worry about. As in, a company would be compiling and arranging these datasets. And when it comes to scale, that company will be owned by another. And now when we’re really talking scale, that means a huge company at the top will own it all. So yes, your analprint would be in a database managed by one of the tech giants. What could go wrong there? Well, besides hackers or foreign agents knowing what your unique anus looks like, they’ll also have all your poo and peeing data.
I don’t even want my priest having that! Actually, I especially don’t want my priest having that!!!