LOCAL HOUSTON BANDIT PULLS JOBS WITH SS# ON FOREHEAD
So normally this story would be from Florida. But somehow, not this time. This time this story is coming from Houston, Texas. And Houston, we have a problem. It’s a man whose name is Robert Charles Wooten. He’s a 40-year-old who has what a police report from last December detailed as “distinctive tattoos” on his face. What this means is, Wooten has a tattoo of his Social Security Number, on his forehead. What makes this, um, interesting is that Wooten was linked to at least three armed robberies in Houston last Fall. Who gets a tat of their SS#, anyway?
ARMED ROBBER SAVANT CALLED “SOCIAL SECURITY” BY POLICE
So, let’s just pop the bubble of your suspense over this Wooten character. Somehow, police were able to identify him. Well, by somehow we mean that Wooten was identified because people saw the tattoo of his Social Security number on his forehead. So police figured it out. They had a pretty good idea that Wooten was their likely suspect. And now, let’s all try real hard and guess what police call Wooten, if unofficially? Dang, you’re right. It’s pretty easy. Police refer to Wooten as “Social Security.” For some reason.
“SOCIAL SECURITY” ROBS STORE, TWICE, FOR CIGARETTES
“They’re calling this guy ‘Social Security’ because he actually has his Social Security (number) tattooed across his forehead,” said Houston police investigator Frank Heenan. One of Wooten’s robberies last Fall sounded just a bit scary for the shop owner. Wooten had gone up to the cash register at the Valero Corner Store and asked the cashier some questions about the store. But then he suddenly asked, “You care about your life?” He then showed his handgun tucked in his pants under his shirt.
IF YOU HAVE A TAT OF YOUR SS# ON YOUR FACE, POLICE WILL FIND YOU
Wooten ended up robbing the store of cigarettes. But Wooten returned weeks later and did the same routine all over again. But police were able to identify Wooten because of the tattoo of his Social Security number on his forehead. Go figure. According to the criminal complaint, Wooten was easily identifiable to his victim from the “distinctive tattoos” on his face. So far, no one knows just how stupid Wooten is. But his tat suggests, very.
“SOCIAL SECURITY” HAS LONG SHEET, NO HEADBAND
But Wooten is no stranger to the criminal justice system. According to Harris County court records, Wooten was busted last summer for indecent exposure when he flashed his genitals to an unwilling someone. There’s no word on any distinctive tattoos down there. But Wooten is on the books for pretty much everything, including theft, trespassing, drugs, protection order violations, blah blah blah. Unsurprisingly, Wooten is a suspect in several armed robberies in recent weeks at a Houston pawn shop, a Family Dollar Store, a Walgreen’s, etc, etc.
It seems likely if he was there, the police will connect the dots. Somehow. Does anyone think Wooten is concerned about his identity being stolen? You know, because his SS# is on his forehead?