Why Is Rand Paul Kissing the Black Cheeks in Detroit — What Could Go Wrong?

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Why Is Rand Paul Kissing the Black Cheeks in Detroit — What Could Go Wrong

Rand Paul is kissing black cheeks in Detroit! Is that news? I mean, who enjoys holiday parties anyway? Not this guy. Drunken fondlings in a crowded room, inane chitchat over the same old bowl of nuts, swirling around some cheap glass of Malbec. Count me out.

I just scored a ticket to the only party that matters this December. The grand opening of someone’s less-than-bright idea to open a GOP minority outreach office in Detroit. Wonderful. Did I mention the headliner is GOP senator Rand Paul. Get your ticket here:

What could go wrong? More importantly, who would show up? The Republican Party has a real problem with appealing to voters who aren’t white and male. Recent GOP candidates are simply scaring the bejesus out of anyone who is either black, gay, or has a vagina. As you can imagine, African-American lesbians are particularly at risk. The invite reads:

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Join Senator Rand Paul as we open our African-American Engagement Office in Detroit as we discuss the Michigan Republican Party’s outreach efforts and our commitment to revitalizing Michigan’s urban centers.

We will watch “Sister Act” and enjoy some BBQ. You people like that, right?

OK, I added that last line myself. But still. It’s one thing to stumble on a public relations disaster; it’s another thing to plan it yourself. Rand Paul hasn’t exactly been hitting it out of the park lately. Besides the plagiarism scandal that the senator doubled and then tripled down on, he hasn’t exactly been a hit with black voters.

According to Paul, racism is over. Because we have a black president.

And I don’t think he’d be that popular in Detroit after he said that bailing out the financially troubled city would happen “over my dead body.”

Or how about those eyebrow-raising remarks Paul gave in 2010 where he questions the validity and necessity of the Voting Rights Act.

Yes, private business should have the right to discriminate, but to do so would be a bad business model? Sure.

Luckily, my contact in Paul’s office gave me a quick look at his remarks for the event:

“Good morning guests. I understand you’re all black. I want to apologize for everything that has happened up until this point in history. Gosh. Well, that’s behind us now. Black president! Enjoy some free coffee as you make your way to the door … Vote Republican!”

I’m sure the event will be standing room only, if you can stand it.


[ Photo © David Becker/ZUMA Press/Corbis ]

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