10 MILLIONS POUNDS OF STRANDED POOP A ROUGH AGE FOR SMALL TOWN
I’ve never heard of the tiny town of Parrish, Alabama, until now. It’s home to about 982 people. But those 982 people are stuck with a really crappy situation. There are dozens or train cars stranded there. They’ve been stuck there for nearly two months now. But why is that a problem? Well, those dozens of train cars are full of poop. It’s so much poop, altogether is amounts to 10 million pounds of poop. Technically, it’s all just biowaste. But in reality that means a 10 million pound poo pile. Stuck, sitting there for two months. So that may be why the town of Parrish, Alabama smells like a rotting, dead animal. A big one. Like, a woolly mammoth one.
PARRISH, ALABAMA STINKS LIKE MILLIONS OF AS$HOLES, LITERALLY
But how does this poor town of 982 people have a train caravan of 10 million pounds? Well, it’s not their poo. Obviously. This is the biggest case ever of he who smelt it, dealt it, NOT. This is poo coming down from the asses of New Yorkers and those Jersey folks. Waste management facilities up north have been shipping all these tons of biowaste down south to a place called Big Sky Environmental. That’s the name for a giant private landfill in Adamsville, also in Alabama. But this past January, its neighboring town of West Jefferson decided to block the influx of poo. Yes, I said influx of poo. The town filed an injunction against the landfill to prevent the poo from being stored in a rail yard near there.
TOWN ABANDONED BY STATE AND CORPORATE INDIFFERENCE, NO END IN SIGHT
But that has left the poo already in cathartic transit stranded in Parrish. Parrish has no zoning laws against poo storage, or being stranded in downwind purgatory. Sucks to be Parrish, right? Heather Hall is the mayor of Parrish and she is doing all she can to get the poo caravan out of town. But she says that despite some state lawmakers pledge to help, there’s been no movement for weeks. So that dead rotting wooly mammoth smell is pretty much everywhere. Parrish is all of two square miles. There is 10 millions pounds of poo stinking up a town of two square miles. Just last Tuesday, the temperature in Parrish reached 81 degrees.
Maybe we can all pray for Parrish.
