CRAPPY WORLD, OUR POO WILL TELL US HOW BAD THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC REALLY IS
So after all is said and done, how big will this Coronavirus outbreak, pandemic, social upheaval catalyst be? Well, for now, it’s hard to say. So far, we’ve been looking at infection rates, recoveries, and deaths, of course. But those numbers may not truly tell the tale. Sure, those numbers are real, and we are already totally freaking out about them. As we should. But whenever this is all done with, how can we really measure the true reach and impact of Coronavirus? Well, the answer seems to be, our poo. Yes, our poo. It’s not a joke by any means.
POO WILL TELL SCIENTISTS IF WE HAD COVID-19 AND NEVER KNEW, FINDING RNA
So what is this about? Genetic material in our poo. Because every time we poo, pieces of whatever is in us goes into the sewage, in our poo. That includes the viral NRA from the Coronavirus. Scientists are now saying that this is how we will truly measure the Covid-19 pandemic’s impact and scale. But why? Well, because not every person in the world is going to take a test for Coronavirus. But that goes double for the United States, one of the richest countries in the world. Because we didn’t just drop the ball on testing, we dropped the live group of live chainsaws we said we weren’t even juggling. And be we, I mean the feds, of course.
SCIENTISTS WILL COMPARE OUTBREAK NUMBERS WITH LOCAL SEWAGE TO MEASURE TRUE CORONAVIRUS IMPACT
So how do we know this poo RNA measurement will work? Because scientists have already started using it as a new measure. They’ve already found traces in Sweden, the Netherlands and the United States of America. And yes, their findings stink. Because they took those findings and compared them to what we already know about the outbreaks in these three countries. So far, they think we don’t have much of a real clue about how big this pandemic truly is. They say just a single treatment plant processes sewer water from over a million people. So this new measure will, eventually, tell us just how big this pandemic really is. Because we’re going to learn just how many people had Coronavirus, even if they never showed any symptoms.
So for now, stay socially isolated. And, yes, don’t hesitate to poo in your toilet. Well, and then wash your hands, of course.