TRUMP’S FACE THE NEW IMAGE FOR RAVERS AND ECSTASY IN GERMANY
As irony continues to suffer a bitter death in contemporary events, German police confiscated over 5,000 orange MDMA tabs shaped like Donald Trump’s head. Why ironic? It is ze Germans who have the historic vantage to be greatly disturbed by the Don’s recent zenophobic and commentary mobilizing America’s white nationalists into…. Ectasy. But this “bust” will bring some agony to the night-life scene in Germany who will be without this supply of the better-known rave drug. Sad?
ORANGE IS THE NEW WACK, TRUMP THE LAST FACE PEOPLE SEE BEFORE COLLECTIVE BUMP AND GRIND
But all serious silliness aside, the pills are rather amusing. They are clearly Trump’s face, even if they look like they were designed thru a filter like Edvard Munch’s “the Scream.” What was that about irony, again? Controversial American President Trump, perceived to be a Nazi apologist (at best) after 10 days of his public speaking, next is discovered as the Romanesque face of MDMA in Germany. Correction: irony is not dead; it is still twitching.
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TRUMP ECSTASY FROM NETHERLANDS, KIDS MISSING THEIR FIX FOR NEVERLAND AFTER TRAFFIC STOP
Osnabrück Police discovered the pills during a traffic stop on Saturday in the vehicle of a 51-year-old Austrian man and his 17-year-old son along with a large but undisclosed sum of cash. The elder Austrian claimed that he and the young man were heading home from the Netherlands, where they had tried and failed to buy a car. Likely story, sure—but they might’ve had better luck telling the cops that the ecstasy-filled car was new, and they had no idea that it was full of drugs and money.
It now seems rather obvious that the two Austrian men picked up 5,000 ecstasy pills in the Netherlands. While Donald Trump’s face is on the front of the pills, the backs are stamped “Trump” and “NL.” Orange also happens to be the official color of the Dutch Royal Family.
TRUMP PILL MOST POPULAR MDMA PILL DESIGN IN WORLD, THE BEST TO RUB ONE OUT
The two suspects remain in custody, as do the 5,000 Trump-shaped ecstasy pills. The presidential shape is already a hit amongst MDMA enthusiasts on the internet. Members of the MDMAzing community, however, have already voted the Trump visage as the best ecstasy pill design in the world. A “32GB iPhone” ecstasy tablet took second place, while third went to a square pill embossed the logo of Berghain, the most famous nightclub slash sex dungeon in Germany. It’s unclear if the MDMAzing community is the supreme authority on ecstasy pill design, but the user-generated images certainly are diverse.
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So don’t fret if you wanted to get your tongue on some Trump stuff. Popular pill designs tend to get copied in the fake smoke-filled world of ecstasy. Just be careful out there, because drugs are dangerous and illegal. The crap you buy in a nightclub bathroom might also be filled with all kinds of trash that no sane human should be ingesting. But if you must experiment, don’t try the Ikea ecstasy. That high-powered pill may will probably land you in the emergency room.