FORMER POLICE COMMISH BLAMES MISSING WEED ON MICE
My dog ate my homework. That’s so cliché, everyone knows what it means. But for eight police officers in Argentina, it means something else entirely. This story is coming out of Pilar, Argentina, which is north-west of Buenos Aires. Investigators in Pilar found that 1,191 pounds of Marijuana was missing from where it should have been in a police warehouse. That’s more than half a ton of missing weed! But it this wasn’t a case of dogs eating homework. It’s much, much worse than that. Javier Specia, Pilar’s former police commissioner, and seven other police officers told a judge that the 1,191 pounds of marijuana were “eaten by mice.” The judge didn’t like that explanation from the Commish. Not one bit.
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Beyond the obvious conclusion that their story is total bullshit, forensic experts had to get involved. They stated serious doubts that mice would even think of weed as a food to eat. They also said if they had eaten it, they almost certainly would have died from doing so. The judge, Adrián González Charvay, isn’t buying their story. His spokesperson cited expert opinion from Buenos Aires University that “mice wouldn’t mistake the drug for food.” But even if they had, “a lot of corpses would have been found in the warehouse.” You think? That’s a lot of weed! The situation is a big scandal in Argentina. Officials dismissed the eight police officers involved for their bullshit story.
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WHERE DID THE MISSING WEED GO? MICE DID NOT EAT IT
The judge will hear their testimony on May 4th. The court will then decide how to interpret the facts. Are the drugs missing for nefarious reasons? The judge will issue a decision if this travesty is from “expedience or negligence.” Those are hard words to interpret, but it doesn’t look good for these 8 cops. While small amounts of marijuana for personal use are now legal in Argentina, half a ton is another story altogether. 6,000 kilograms of weed have been in stored at the warehouse for two years. But this came to light when Specia’s replacement as police commissioner, Emilio Portero, found that the marijuana was missing when he started the job.
COMMISH NEVER SIGNED OFF ON INVENTORY, NEVER FILED TAXES LAST YEAR
Portero immediately notified their internal affairs division. They discovered only 5,460 kilograms still stored. The investigation uncovered that Specia never signed off on the inventory when he left his job as Commish. He’s also facing an investigation for not submitting an income statement last year. Things that make you go hmmmm, hmmmm? Meanwhile, Mickey Mouse supposedly has a major case of the munchies. Could it be the missing weed? Nah.