I GOT A PIXIE CUT AND NOW EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT AND A CHANGE
I knew getting a big, bold haircut would change some things. I didn’t think it would change everything. I have curly hair, which means that I grew up hating everything about my hair. I hated the shape, I hated the volume, I hated how I couldn’t get it to look like Amanda Bynes’ hair. It was all bad because it was the early 2000s and super super straight hair was IN. Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Jennifer Anniston: all straight hair, all hot women, all not me.
So I lived with a fluffy, frizzy mess all throughout middle school and high school. THEN CUT TO ME IN COLLEGE, and I have waist-long curly hair that I am keeping under control with tons and TONS of product. My curls aren’t frizzy but they are stiff and dry. Oh well, I thought, can’t have everything. At least my hair was curly and not a complete embarrassment all the time. But slowly I came to resent how long my hair was, how much money I was throwing away on products and fancy shampoos, and I started thinking that what I needed was a big ‘ole haircut.
AFTER YEARS OF LONG LOCKS, I DONATED 12 INCHES TO LOCKS OF LOVE
My first big chop occurred in Montreal on spring break (where it is never spring, don’t ever go there on what should be a “warm” vacation) my freshman year of college. I donated twelve inches of hair to Locks of Love and came back to college with my first ever short haircut. My hair just reached my shoulders and I LOVED IT.
Ever since then I have gotten shorter and shorter cuts. In every city I have lived in I have found a person who cuts curly hair extremely well, a person who gives curly hair shape and form, a person who doesn’t want to blow it straight at the end of the cut, a person who thinks curly hair is beautiful. I was very lucky to find such talent and skill everywhere I went, but it wasn’t until I got to New York a year ago that I started to think maybe I hadn’t gone far enough. Maybe I needed to take the “short cut” all the way.
FINALLY FOUND A GENIUS AT THE PERFECT PIXIE CUT, DONE DEAL
Then I found a woman who GETS IT. She is a complete genius and she cuts curly hair like nobody’s business. She even specializes in pixie cuts. So I started thinking about doing it. But I was worried and I was hesitant. I am a straight lady, I date men, I have a boyfriend, and this cut sometimes leans lesbian….if you know what I mean. But then my boyfriend told me that he had always found this sort of cut really hot. IN FACT he had flirted with many a lesbian hoping she was straight only to be told twenty minutes in that dick was not interesting to them. So I wanted a change and I had a boyfriend who was into it: FULL STEAM AHEAD!
So I did it. I got the pixie cut. I have a mountain of curls on top of my head and very little everywhere else. I think it makes me look super cool, super badass. I like how I feel, I like how IT feels. But my dad and his fiancée can barely look at me. And my boyfriend says it is going to take him some time to get used to it.
BUT THOSE WHO LOVE ME NO LONGER RECOGNIZE ME!
I feel fully realized as a person and the people I love don’t recognize me. What does that say about me? Have I been misrepresenting myself? Or do they people I love not really know me at all? It all sounds scary. I want things to go back to how they were but I also want to move forward and let these people see me for who I am. I only hope they still love me once they have gotten to know me. Fingers crossed.