PENIS PASTRIES TOO MUCH FOR SOME TO SWALLOW
Have you ever seen the movie Van Wilder? But of course you have. Let’s just say, dog pastries- they’re so creamy. Except this is for real and there is no punch line. A restaurant in Bangkok is sure to attract visitors with a new menu item. The “food stall” is called Pho Hai Ma, which roughly translates as “I got it from my Dad.” That name makes this story even better. You see, the new menu item is, essentially, penis pastries. To be even more specific for you dirty minded people, these are pastries shaped like penises. Let’s not be callous with the phallus. These are not awful waffles. They’re delicious dick donuts. But some find them too hard to swallow. Sort of.
STUFFED WITH SAUSAGE, AS APPROPRIATE
The penis patisserie offers the phallus phenomenon stuffed with sausage (of course, sausage!) and cheese. Patrons can get these to enjoy with a bunch of different sauces. We’ll just let you imagine what that might look like with ketchup, mayo and even chocolate. Even better, each of these sells for about $1.20. That’s more than a hat trick for $5! Or, you can enjoy a one inch bite 20 cents at a time. Yum.
DICK WAFFLES OLD TRADITION, BUT CRITICS UP IN ARMS
But perhaps this isn’t that completely new. It’s just news to the world, and it is eating it up. A video went viral on Facebook recently and everyone was agape. Well over 20 million gapes at this point. But these dick waffles, if you will, are also creating some controversy. At least one well-known chef got up….tight about it. Yingsak Chonglertjetsadawong finds the penis pastries to be morally offensive. Yingsak also says they should be boycotted. Of course, Yingsak also says go eat at his restaurant instead. Maybe competition is a bitter pill for him to swallow.
WEENIE CHEF UNFAZED OVER PHALLUS KERFLUFFLE
“Would you buy this for your parents? Would you put this in a monk’s alms bowl? If a girl aged 7 or 8 was eating it on the street, is that something you’d want to see?” Yingsak said to media. But the weenie waffle chef, Ketnita Prasertsomboon, doesn’t know what the big phallus deal is. “Some people told me that I’m doing something obscene and un-Buddhist,” she said in an interview. “I just want people to view it as a snack.”
MAYBE DON’T WATCH VAN WILDER FIRST, SERIOUSLY
But penis waffles have actually been around for a while in Taiwan. So perhaps we should all just relax and consider enjoying this mouth sausage delivery system. Just don’t watch Van Wilder right before. And consider never owning an English Bull Dog either. You may never eat, anything, ever again. But remember not to bite too hard! You might get something in your eye.