Crazy! Science Proves Penguin Poo is Chock Full of Laughing Gas

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Crazy! Penguin Poo is Chock Full of Laughing Gas

NO, REALLY, PENGUIN POO EMITS A SHIT LOAD OF LAUGHING GAS!

Sigh.  penguin poo?  So penguins make me laugh.  They’re funny!  If you don’t think so, you haven’t seen them in action.  They are full of antics.  They wobble around on land and are ridiculously cute.  But as clumsy as they are on land, they are ballet dancers in the ocean.  But still, they’re totally funny creatures.  And as much as they make me laugh, they now make me laugh even harder.  Why?  Their poo is full of laughing gas!  No, really, it’s true!  Scientists just published a study on penguin poo in the journal, Science of the Total Environment.

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RESEARCHERS MADE THE DISCOVERY STUDYING KING PENGUINS IN ANTARCTICA

Well, we should be a little more specific about these penguins.  The penguin poo with laughing gas comes from King Penguins in Antarctica.  Researchers were looking at how a colony of King Penguins in South Georgia affect greenhouse gas fluxes there.  South Georgia is an island just north of Antarctica itself.  That’s where they examined their poo and found a really high level of nitrous oxide.  And yes, that’s laughing gas.  You know, that stuff dentists give out to manage pain?  Well, penguin poo us full of it.

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ONE RESEARCHER GOT HIGH AS A KITE JUST BY BEING NEAR ALL THE LAUGHING GAS

But here’s the deal with this penguin poo.  Like all poo, it emits gases.  But this time, laughing gas.  But it’s, like, a lot.  We’re talking 100 times the amount you’d find in a field with a fresh batch of fertilizer.  But it was so much, one of the researchers went “completely cuckoo” from “nosing” near the penguin poo for a few hours.  So in other words, the gas made the researcher high as a kite.  And, literally, full of giggles.  So for all those idiots who like to do whippets, there’s an easier way!  Just go and sniff king penguin poo for a while and you’re aaaaaaaall good.

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