So I don’t know if this is going to be a long story, or a short one. But wait. Actually, I can say with total confidence that this story will be shorter than it would have been before, um, the shooting accident. But accident is not quite enough of a word for the misfortune this 32-year-old Nebraska man suffered at his own hands, so to speak. His name is Peter Jacobsson and he shot his own crotch rocket. So for those of you who never heard an English accent or came of age in a Cloister with no wireless, a crotch rocket is a tongue in cheek reference to a penis. Peter Jacobsson shot himself in the penis. Ouch. OUCH.
NEBRASKA MAN WILL HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO FELLOW INMATES WHY HE’S THERE, OOPS
So what’s worse than the tragedy of shooting your very own crotch rocket with at least two decades of launches to go in life? Going to jail for shooting yourself in the crotch rocket is the answer. It’s a sad story of gravity, a gun, no gun permit and miserable luck. But maybe the luck could have been even worse. Jacobsson could have shot someone else’s crotch rocket or even killed them. But regardless, this is what happened. His .22-caliber pistol fell out of his pocket and hit the ground in Lincoln, Nebraska. But the gun then discharged, shooting a bullet. This was last week and happened on a busy street with lots of other people around.
LEAVE YOUR GUNS AT HOME, OR YOU TOO COULD HAVE GRUESOME CROTCH ROCKET INJURIES
But the bullet hit him in the crotch, causing “gruesome” injuries to his groin. According to police, this occurred near Bryan West Campus. So that means near a medical center, which meant a really short response time from medical help. Jacobsson remains in the hospital. But his injuries are not life-threatening. Authorities have charged him discharging a firearm in the city as well as possession of a deadly weapon by a prohibited person.