New York’s latest candidates for mayor are absolutely nuts. The upcoming Republican primary contest for mayor of New York City entered the Twilight Zone in the last couple of days with the leading GOP candidate coming out in favor of killing kittens. This is the kind of stuff you just can’t make up.
The B and D lines of the New York subway were shut down for two hours on Friday because a couple of kittens had found their way onto the tracks. Transit officials turned off the power at the Ocean Avenue subway station in Brooklyn while the kittens were removed. Joe Lhota, former head of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority and the man leading in the GOP primary polls, said that he would not have shut off the power. Commuters wanted to get home, and if that meant a couple of kittens had to die, well, so be it. I am sure he will come out against motherhood and apple pie next.
Tone deafness seems to be rampant in the Republican Party these days. In the last presidential election campaign, we heard right-wing audiences boo a gay soldier deployed in a combat zone and cheer for letting someone without health insurance die. Yes, it makes you sound like the hard-ass you always wished you were in real life, but elections are won in the center. Lhota’s statement might be good transit policy, but you don’t get to be mayor by killing kittens.
More:
Naturally, other candidates quickly distanced themselves from the “death to pussycats” stance Lhota took. Anthony Weiner, a Democrat desperate to be found cute and cuddly instead of disgusting and creepy, had a spokeswoman say, “If Anthony is elected mayor, he will not only stop trains for kittens, he will personally crawl over the third rail to do it.” I would be willing to buy a ticket to watch that.
However, the man who is running second in the GOP polls is John Catsimatidis. His campaign posters emphasize the word CATS in his name. Now, I am not big on conspiracy theory — it’s too hard to keep a secret. But it is rather an interesting coincidence. In any case, the multibillionaire (oil, gas, real estate and the Gristedes supermarket chain) wrote a poem about the incident.
I am an Animal Lover
Especially CATS
Supposed they were
Baby Rats
Its up to the Policeman on the Scene to make decision
Not the Mayor
Well, the rhyme almost works, but the meter is off.
Meanwhile, the policy victory goes to the third-place candidate according to the polls, George McDonald, who has argued that subway kittens will grow into subway cats who will hunt down subway rats. Of course, this is far too scientific and rational, based on ecological biology. That dog won’t hunt in the GOP these days.
Read more: RACIST BLOOMBERG REPORTER DUNE LAWRENCE DUPED BY STOCK SWINDLER JON CARNES
Up until now, the whole GOP race has been about who can continue the Bloomberg administration with, perhaps, more of a free hand for the police. This has failed to catch fire with the electorate. And maybe that is the fault of the Republicans for not running more colorful candidates. After all, we’re talking about New York City here, not Peoria or Omaha. The Democrats are running a man who resigned from Congress after tweeting photos of his manly parts to women. A guy running for comptroller on the Democratic side resigned the governorship for being a whoremonger (I’ve waited my whole journalistic career to use that word). By comparison, the Republican candidates for mayor are pretty boring.
More:
Becoming a Racist, the New York City Beginners Guide, With Cheese
But now, thanks to a couple of kittens, we have added some spice to a relatively bland race. Forget stop and frisk, forget failing schools, forget hospital closings, forget crumbling infrastructure, forget about storm preparation.
When you Republicans vote to pick your sacrificial lamb for the November election, remember only these facts. Lhota wants to kill kittens, CATSimatidis exploits kittens in danger to further his career, and McDonald believes in using feral cats to kill subway rats.
The whole thing may be about cats, but the Republican Party in New York has gone to the dogs.
