North Korea to Surrender Nukes if… US Stays the Fukk Away

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North Korea to Surrender Nukes if... US Stays the Fu%k Away


 I really don’t blame Kim Jong-un. If I was staring down the barrel of a meeting with Trump I would give up my nukes too.

Decades and decades and president after president have attempted and failed to fix the “Korea Problem.” Trump thought HE was going to be the one to do it. He was betting on it. He was banking on it. He couldn’t wait to run to Putin and say look what I did! But Kim Jong-un has taken the wind out of his sails and fixed everything with South Korea first.

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Kim has effectively taken away Trump’s candy, and I have to say, I’m not displeased. For once I am COMPLETELY in agreement with a dictator. Why wait for a meeting with Trump when Trump won’t be able to do anything anyway? Meeting with the South Koreans was the only step that could actually bring the two Koreas together. After all, they are talking about their own lands becoming one again. Why should Trump have any say in that?

Plus: what was Trump going to do anyway? Probably just either threaten or beg. Those are the only two tools he has in his teeny tiny tool box anyway. The meeting would have been short and no “deal-making” would have taken place; we can all be sure of that.


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But now, Trump doesn’t get to be the big man, the fixer, the Michael Cohen in the game. He just has to be himself: the guy who writes books about how lying is awesome and who holds rallies even though he’s supposed to be a president and not a candidate anymore.

He was never going to fix anything, so it is better that these two volatile men not be in the same room as each other. They would probably have just blown up the room they were in by accident. Trump now just needs to promise to stay THE FUCK out of Korea. What trick might be employ to make him think this was his idea? Not sure yet, but we will think of something.

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