TENSIONS WERE MOUNTING AS MYSTERIOUS HOME INVADER LEFT NO TRACES
This is one you couldn’t make up. Well, unless you’re in junior high and your imagination runs along the implausible and inappropriate. But nonetheless we get to bring you a story about a home in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, where an official police investigation has come to an end with a harmless, if exasperating, answer that is a threat to absolutely nobody. Hiss, Garfield, get out of the Lasagna! The problem, of course, was that one family had a panty raid on their hands. Someone had been entering their home and rifling thru a female family member’s underwear drawer. This understandably made everyone upset and anxious about what the intruder might do next. Unless it was the family pussy cat all along.
PANTY RAID WAS OF OFFICIAL CONCERN TO POLICE, AREA
Can you imagine? You live in a small town where everyone pretty much knows everyone. You have a tight-knit neighborhood with history and strong social bonds. But there’s a mysterious and dangerous intruder messing with one family’s home. That’s enough to make any community pretty antsy. The problem was, there was no intruder to speak of. But initially everyone was “very concerned,” as the police and the family could find no forced entry into the home. No one knew what was happening, but it seemed to be both intensely creepy and more than slightly threatening. Police had conducted investigations looking into the situation and were in preparation to do more. According to police Sgt. Kuffer Kaltenborn, “We were working every angle to make sure there was no reason to be concerned.”
Badger Breaks into Home, Shacks Up in Cat’s Bed
FAMILY PUSSY CAT WILL NEVER KNOW THE TROUBLE IT CAUSED, “I DON’T CARE”
But one day recently the family came home and solved the mystery. The entire saga was explained instantly when they saw their cat go into the drawer and move the underwear around to its liking to make a nice and comfy bed. They immediately let police know that the dangerous situation had been solved and that the culprit was merely their feline finagler. According to Kalterborn, “Mom was very relieved.” He also added that his department was just simply pleased that the case was closed and that there was no threat to the public. But it leaves all of us with that nagging suspicion: what kind of perpetration is my cat doing? And, lastly, it’s amazing how police got involved with a case of the pussy in the panty drawer.