Tom

Not recently active

Say What? Crazy Weird Platypuses Also Glow in the Dark, Too?

PLATYPUSES WERE ALREADY CRAZY WEIRD, BUT NOW THEY GLOW IN THE DARK, TOO? So I don’t know what to make of this.  I mean, the platypus is one weird animal.  Evolution has given it traits we just haven’t found together anywhere else.  And somehow, we’ve just made another discovery, in the year 2020, about platypuses?  […] More

submitted by


Sci-Fi Great Alan Dean Foster Calls Disney For No Royalties

DISNEY REFUSES TO PAY ALAN DEAN FOSTER ROYALTIES FOR HIS STAR WARS, ALIENS BOOKS So if you are a geek, like I am, you already know who Alan Dean Foster is.  He’s literally one of the all-time greats when it comes to successful sci-fi writing.  No, don’t know him?  Well, how about Star Wars?  Because […] More

submitted by


Manna From Heaven? Meteorite Thru Roof Nets $1 Million

A METEORITE CRASHED THRU HIS ROOF, BUT IT WAS MANNA FROM HEAVEN WORTH $1 MILLION So sometimes fortune is a mixed bag.  You know, when things seem a bit come see, come saw?  Well, this story is just a little better than that.  This is about literal Manna from heaven.  Don’t believe it?  Well, money […] More

submitted by



After Sean Connery’s Passing, An Auction For Bond’s Walther PPK Pistol

REMEMBERING SEAN CONNERY, AUCTION INCLUDES FAMOUS DR. NO WALTHER PPK PROP So Sean Connery has passed away.  While this isn’t a memory piece on Connery, which would be an epic writing in its own write, this piece is definitely related.  As our living icons leave us, we are left with nothing but memories and, in […] More

submitted by




AMC Theatres in Trouble, So Offering Private Screening For $99

IN SERIOUS MONEY TROUBLE, AMC THEATRES TO OFFER PRIVATE GROUP SCREENINGS FOR $99 So are you not entertained?  Well, hell no.  Of course you aren’t.  None of us are.  It’s a bloody freaking pandemic.  So of all the normal things people are missing, it’s going to the movies.  And sure, there aren’t too many new […] More

submitted by


Australia Dentist Breaks Quarantine, Gets Jail Time

DENTIST IN AUSTRALIA BREAKS QUARANTINE AFTER TRIP TO TREAT PATIENTS, GETS JAIL TIME So here in the United States, the Covid pandemic leaves you in either of (at least) two places.  Either you’re shit scared and take every precaution you can, or you think it’s not real and it’s simply no big deal at all.  […] More

submitted by


Cops Find That Sleeping Homeless Person on Bench Was Jesus Statue

BAD SAMARITAN CALLS POLICE ON HOMELESS PERSON, BUT WAS A JESUS STATUE So when I started thinking about how to write this piece I thought, what would Jesus do?  You know, WWJD?  Because it’s a question “good Christians” seem to have a hard time remembering.  Irony is one thing.  This goes way, way beyond irony.  […] More

submitted by


Aegean Sea Greek Island to Go Totally Electric With Volkswagen

GREEK GOVERNMENT AIMS FOR THE FUTURE, AEGEAN ISLAND TO BE TOTALLY ELECTRIC IN TWO YEARS So here is an interesting Petri dish in the era of electronic cars.  But while it’s an island and that makes it easier, it’s still pretty interesting news.  The Greek government has made a commitment to go totally electric on […] More

submitted by


Tyson Foods Plant Managers Had Cash Bets for Staff Covid Infection

PLANT MANAGERS AT TYSON FOODS MADE CASH BETS ON EMPLOYEES GETTING COVID AT WORK So as much as I hate to write about this after watching a lot of American Barbecue Showdown.  Because it just makes you want to eat all those amazing meats off a grill.  But when you really think about the actual […] More

submitted by


Covid Vaccine News Makes Gun Stocks Tumble in Price, But Why?

HOW IS IT THAT NEWS OF A GOOD COVID VACCINE IS MAKING ALL GUN STOCKS TUMBLE IN PRICE? So I really don’t get it.  We just got the news that two different Covid vaccine trials went better than anyone expected.  Like, we’re talking about a 90% effectiveness rate.  And that’s some great news to get […] More

submitted by


Oreo Made an Asteroid Proof Bunker in the Arctic, Why?

OREO COOKIE COMPANY MADE A DOOMSDAY, ASTEROID BUNKER IN NORWAY’S ARCTIC So Orios are the bomb.  And because of bombs, we needs bunkers. I have a lot of fond memories eating them in a whole variety of ways.  Everyone who loves Oreos has or had their own way of eating them.  And it was always […] More

submitted by


Washington State Legalizes Dead Body Composting

WEIRD? WASHINGTON STATE LEGALIZES HUMAN, DEAD BODY COMPOSTING So is the idea of composting dead bodies a future thing or a past thing?  I remember this idea in a lot of old sci-fi stories.  But human remains are a resource just like anything else.  For the soil, at least.  And Washington state passed a bill […] More

submitted by


ELECTION! Colorado Voters Choose to Bring Back Grey Wolves

COLORADO VOTERS PASS PROPOSITION TO RE-INTRODUCE GREY WOLVES BACK INTO THE WILD So Biden and Trump?  Nah, this isn’t that kind of election news.  Voters all across the country made choices on a host of issues.  Recreational use Marijuana and so many, many others.  But this one makes me happy, and I’m not a constituent […] More

submitted by


Zambian Woman Bites Off Husband’s Penis Over Rat in Bedroom

AFTER ZAMBIAN HUSBAND REFUSES TO REMOVE RAT FROM BEDROOM, WIFE BITES OFF HIS PENIS So with all the craziness of the past few weeks, I totally missed this story.  Now, you won’t either.  And for all the guys out there reading this, good luck with your dreams at night.  A Zambian woman got really upset […] More

submitted by


Romanian Town Somehow Reelects Dead Mayor to Office

DEAD MAN WINS REELECTION FOR MAYOR IN SMALL ROMANIAN TOWN So it’s election week.  And we’ve totally been thru it here in the United States.  Fortunately, the wait is over for us.  And it’s been a doozy by any measurement you can think of.  But this year’s pandemic election cycle has had some other crazy […] More

submitted by


Stranded Japanese Tourist Gets Private Machu Picchu Visit

JAPANESE TOURIST STUCK IN PERU GETS DREAM COME TRUE, GETS PRIVATE MACHU PICCHU VISIT So I’ve never been to Machu Picchu.  But I’ve got family and friends who have and they say it’s completely amazing.  And if I was jealous before, it’s nothing like I’m jealous now.  And that’s totally, utterly jealous.  Because a nice […] More

submitted by


Colorado Elk Gored Golfer, Sliced His Kidney in Half

ELK GORED COLORADO GOLFER BETWEEN HOLES, SLICING HIS KIDNEY IN TWO PIECES So I don’t know about anyone else.  But I like golf.  Well, playing golf, not watching it on television.  Though, I must say that Beavis and Butthead clearly understood that golf coverage is full of innuendo.  But I haven’t been able to play […] More

submitted by


Alive Man Mistakenly in Mortuary Freezer Saved, But Later Dies

DOCTORS AGAIN DECLARE SOMEONE DEAD, PUT IN MORTUARY FREEZER FOR A DAY So this is getting pretty ridiculous.  We keep seeing these stories about people that doctors declared dead who weren’t yet dead.  And now there’s another one?  But this one doesn’t have a happy ending by any means.  So this time, the story is […] More

submitted by


Borat Return Infects Kazakhstan, New Slogan is Now Very Nice

KAZAKHSTAN HATED BORAT, BUT NOW THEY THINK HE’S VERY NICE FOR TOURISM So you already know, Borat is back.  Well, he’s been back for a little while now.  Long enough for everyone to already barf, at least once.  You know, that tucking in the shirt situation?  And no, Rudy, no one is buying your bullshit.  […] More

submitted by



Dutch Hacker Gets Into Trump Twitter Account on Try #5

DUTCH HACKER IN SHOCK WHEN 5TH PASSWORD TRY FOR TRUMP’S TWITTER ACCOUNT WORKS But her emails?  Bloody Fucking Hell.  So screw her emails.  And screw Ivanka’s, and Jared’s, too.  Why?  Because none of those “emails” stories are relevant?  Hell, no.  Because if you want to know just how much amateur hour has been running the […] More

submitted by


Upstate NY Couple Discovers 100-Year-Old Bootleg Whiskey in Home

UPSTATE NY COUPLE MAKE HUGE DISCOVERY A YEAR AFTER LIVING IN PERIOD HOME Well, it’s too bad this house is off the market.  But it may be a side note to folks who are looking to buy: look at the history of possible homes really closely.  But one Upstate NY couple had no clue what […] More

submitted by


Trump Covid Infection Spikes Citizen Research into Schadenfreude

AFTER COVID HIT DONALD TRUMP, SUDDENLY SEARCHES FOR SCHADENFREUDE SPIKED LIKE CRAZY So here we are, with no more presidential debates to debase ourselves with watching.  And the under two-week countdown to Election Day itself.  But before we proceed with our various efforts of controlling our anxiety, disgust and general exhaustion, I want to look […] More

submitted by


Daily Black Licorice Diet Kills Massachusetts Man

BLACK LICORICE CANDY CAN BE DEADLY, MASSACHUSETTS MAN DISCOVERS So.  Black licorice can kill you.  Seriously.  And I know, I know, anything can kill you, especially if there’s too much of it.  But licorice, never mind black licorice, was not an item I would ever have put on my list of deadly things I need […] More

submitted by


Covid-19 Vaccine Side Effect Could Be 500,000 Dead Sharks

COVID-19 VACCINE COULD MAKE WAVES, UP TO 500,000 DEAD SHARKS FOR PRODUCTION So much for jumping the shark.  This is more like, depth charging the shark all over the world.  And no, I don’t particularly like sharks.  Jaws came out when I was a kid and so I saw it as a kid.  They scare […] More

submitted by


Man Hits Jogging Woman With Truck, Rapes and Buries Her

ARKANSAS HORROR STORY, AS FARMER HITS JOGGING WOMAN, THEN RAPE, THEN BURIAL So here is a real-life monster story.  Near Halloween, no less.  But the real part makes this equal parts horror, outrage and the inevitable tragedy.  You’ll understand why.  So the woman pictured above is Sydney Sutherland.  She was 25 years old.  The man […] More

submitted by


China Tells Genghis Khan Museum Not to Use Words, Genghis Khan, What?

CHINA GOES ALL IN, SAYS GENGHIS KHAN EXHIBIT CAN’T USE THE WORDS, GENGHIS KHAN So, have you ever heard of Genghis Khan?  Well, of course you have.  He created an empire, you may know it as the Mongol Horde.  Khan is a huge piece of history in the East.  But politics in China are making […] More

submitted by


DEA Instructor Calls Black Recruit a Monkey, Makes Monkey Noises

DEA INSTRUCTOR CALLED BLACK TRAINEE A MONKEY, MADE MONKEY NOISES OVER PA SYSTEM So this story is kind a surprise to me.  But, really, I shouldn’t be.  Things that we thought were our collective norms are clearly not what we thought they were.  And with politics in the US these days, that’s increasingly a clear […] More

submitted by


Expensive, American Made Spy Boat Washed Up on Scottish Isle

PRICEY, AMERICAN MADE SPY BOAT WASHES ASHORE ON REMOTE SCOTTISH ISLE So this is more than casually odd.  I had no idea, but there are unmanned spy ships sailing the high seas.  But one of these automated vessels washed up on the shore of a Scottish isle recently.  Its model name is the Wave Glider.  […] More

submitted by


Library Staffer in Austin Stole $1.5 Million in Printer Toner

LIBRARY STAFFER MADE OFF WITH OVER $1.5 MILLION WORTH OF PRINTER TONER OVER SEVERAL YEARS So I hate printer toner.  But I hate paying for them even more.  Why?  Because they are profit pigs that make breakfast cereal in the 1980’s look skinny.  Hmm.  Maybe that’s hard to follow.  But you probably already know what […] More

submitted by


White Man Wore Blackface Disguise, Fake Beard to Murder His Wife

WHITE HUSBAND MURDERS HIS WIFE WEARING A BLACKFACE AND FAKE BEARD DISGUISE So crime is often disgusting.  But this one takes it to new levels.  First of all, murder is a heinous crime.  There’s no other way to see it.  And when you kill your spouse, it’s all the more so.  Especially when you premeditate […] More

submitted by


New Hampshire Man Kills Wife’s Lover, Makes Her Behead Him

CUCKOLD HUSBAND KILL’S WIFE’S LOVER, FORCES HER TO CUT OFF HIS HEAD So this is some Old Testament kind of stuff.  Totally horrifying.  The Sixth Commandment is all about how we’re not supposed to commit adultery.  For you innocents or agnostic out there, that means don’t cheat on your spouse.  But one woman and her […] More

submitted by


Covid-19 Kills 10,000 Minks in the State of Utah

SCARY, UTAH MINK FARMS HAVE LOST 10,000 OF THEM TO COVID-19 So Covid-19 is killing more things than we knew.  Recent news out of Utah is a little disturbing in an entirely new way.  If you didn’t already know (I didn’t) there are a lot of mink farms in Utah.  But recently, they’ve been having […] More

submitted by


Catholic Priest Under Arrest for Threesome Sex on Altar

PRIEST, TWO HOT LADIES UNDER ARREST FOR THREESOME SEX ON HIS CHURCH’S ALTAR So what the hell is up with this story?  I’m is totally confusing.  And it’s exciting.  I mean, look at this situation.  First off, we’re talking about a Catholic priest getting it on.  Second, we’re talking about a Catholic priest getting it […] More

submitted by


Hairy, Poisonous Puss Caterpillars That Will Make You Vomit Invade VA

THE PUSS CATERPILLAR IS INVADING EVER FURTHER NORTH, NOW IN VIRGINIA So Global Warming rears its ugly head again, this time with a species moving ever more north in the United States.  Virginia now has a news guest in the wild, and they are not welcome.  So they have the name Puss Caterpillars.  They look […] More

submitted by


Pabst Blue Ribbon Now Sells Cannabis Seltzer, Munchies Inevitable

CANNABIS SELTZER? HELL YES! PABST BLUE RIBBON MAKES MAJOR SPLASH FOR BUZZ So the world is an interesting place.  Remember your entire life, and your parents lives, and their parents’ lives?  Well, maybe not your entire life.  But most of it.  But for all that time, marijuana was from the devil.  Totally illegal, it also […] More

submitted by


Versace Exec Gets Stop and Frisk for Beverly Hills Jaywalking

BEVERLY HILLS WHILE BLACK, VERSACE EXEC GETS STOP AND FRISK FOR JAYWALKING Ah, lessons the police never want to learn.  And, yes, there is again video.  Being black in the United States is seriously not fun.  It seems totally fair to wonder if your life could end at any given moment.  But if you say, […] More

submitted by


2020 Fat Bear Week Winner is the Bear, 747

THIS YEAR’S WINNING CHAMPION OF FAT BEAR WEEK IS THE GINORMOUS 747 So what the hell is Fat Bear Week?  Well, it’s run by Explore.org and has drawn all sorts of nature lovers in recent years.  With (almost) everyone staying isolated these days, that has only been more true this year.  So Fat Bear Week?  […] More

submitted by


Did Mitch McConnell Just Sucker Trump to Lose Election?

IT LOOKS LIKE MITCH MCCONNELL PLAYED TRUMP AS A SUCKER FOR THE ELECTION So.  You may have heard that Donald Trump totally got Covid-19.  He was in the hospital, he risked the Secret Service in a drive around for his white supremacist fans, and he’s on drugs, back at the White House.  And you likely […] More

submitted by



Donated Parrots Removed From Park For Swearing At Visitors

DONATED PARROTS AT WILDLIFE PARK HAVE TO LEAVE, FOR SWEARING AT VISITORS Polly doesn’t want a cracker.  Give Polly a fucking cracker now!  So you know, I’ve heard some good jokes about parrots that curse and swear.  But I never thought I’d ever be writing about this in real life.  So here are the deets.  […] More

submitted by


Dapper Don is Now Covid Don, As President Tests Positive for Covid

DONALD TRUMP TESTS POSITIVE, AS THE DAPPER DON BECOMES THE COVID DON So irony decided it was tired of taking a beating, and so went directly to the White House.  Does that sound harsh?  Well, maybe so.  But if you are related to any of the over 200,000 Americans who have died of Covid, I […] More

submitted by


Atlanta Strippers Say, Get Your Booty to the Poll

THESE ATLANTA STRIPPERS ARE SERIOUS ABOUT YOU GETTING YOUR BOOTY TO THE POLL So I love puns, I’m just that kind of guy.  But this pun came out of nowhere I saw coming.  Like, at all.  People of all stripes are gearing up for the coming US Presidential Election in November.  You know, the next […] More

submitted by


Hockey Fan Screams Shoot, Then Police Arrive At His Doorstep

HOCKEY FANS SCREAM SHOOT WATCHING THE STANLEY CUP, THEN THE POLICE SHOW UP So remember all those times you were watching a game and said, “shoot, shoot it!”  Because I know that I have, more times than I can count.  And that’s just watching basketball.  There’s that father-in-law character in the movie, Fargo, who just […] More

submitted by


Some Thoughts on The Shit Show Presidential Debate

SOME THOUGHT ON THE SHIT SHOW DEBATE, INSOMNIA, DESPAIR AND HOPE REGARDLESS So, here goes.  The Presidential debate happened.  And by happened, I mean the fan is dripping.  Because it was a shit show.  Hey, even a major TV News anchor said it was just that on live TV.  There’s no other way to describe […] More

submitted by


Manual Found for Nazi Computer, World’s Oldest, the Zuse Z4

MANUAL TO THE  WORLD’S OLDEST DIGITAL COMPUTER, THE ZUSE Z4, FOUND So as a tech geek, this story gives me mixed feelings.  Because computers are so important today, it’s important to remember their place in history, where they came from and when.  But Nazis?  This is a piece of techno-geek lore that I just never […] More

submitted by


Disgusting, Rudy Giuliani’s Company, With No Employees, Scores Fed PPP $$$

HOW DID RUDY GIULIANI’S COMPANY GET A FEDERAL PPP LOAN WITH NO EMPLOYEES? So this won’t sound too complimentary of Rudy Giuliani.  As a New Yorker who was in NYC on 9/11, I have some strong opinions about who he really is as a human being.  Negative opinions.  And pretty much everything he has done […] More

submitted by


Woman Offers Naked Cleaning Service, and Business is Booming

WOMAN OFFERING NAKED CLEANING SERVICE SAYS HER BUSINESS IS BOOMING So what is this?  Well, entrepreneurialism at its most obvious.  Younger people today may not know, but back in the day bikini (or even topless!) carwashes were a big thing.  And yes, they are still around today.  With masks.  But what young people definitely do […] More

submitted by


Disgusting! Police in Vietnam Bust Condom Resale Ring

VIETNAMESE POLICE RAID WAREOUSE, BUST USED CONDOM RESALE RING, DISGUSTING! Sooooo.  This is beyond disgusting.  This is….  I mean, really.  Who in the hell thinks that they can get away with this?  Like, I’m just-.  Selling used condoms?  As new?  A condom resale operation?  Yuck.  YUCK.  And this wasn’t a casual operation. Like, this was […] More

submitted by


Sci-Fi Legend Star Michael Hogan Has GoFundMe For Brain Injury

SCI-FI LEGEND AND BATTLESTAR GALACTICA HERO MICHAEL HOGAN SUFFERS SERIOUS BRAIN INJURY So this is sad and surprising.  A veritable sci-fi legend and star of the genre Michael Hogan is in trouble.  Why sad?  Well, because he’s one of the good ones.  And surprising?  Well, it’s a little shocking to see that an actor with […] More

submitted by


340 Pounds Gone After Christopher Stanley Quit Using Drugs

CHRISTOPHER STANLEY CHANGED HIS LIFE, QUIT USING DRUGS AND LOST 340 POUNDS So just look at those two pictures, side by side.  That’s what can happen when you change your life.  But sure, the after picture is disturbing in its own way.  Yet to stay real, that is just cosmetic and doctors can fix that […] More

submitted by


Orcas! Pod Near Spain Attacking, Ramming Local Boats

POD OF KILLER WHALES, AKA ORCAS, ARE WEIRDLY ATTACKING AND RAMMING BOATS NEAR SPAIN So this is like it’s out of some movie, straight-to-video on late-night television no-one is watching.  Well, actually there was a movie, Orca.  Over 40 years ago…. A character played by Richard Harris killed a Killer Whale and its unborn calf.  […] More

submitted by


In Indonesia, Anti-Maskers Have to Dig Graves for Covid Dead

ANTI-MASKERS IN INDONESIA HAVE TO DIG GRAVES FOR THE COVID DEAD, MANUAL-LABOR EDUCATION So there must be a special place in hell for those who deny the reality that Covid exists, and is killing people.  Because it is real.  And anti-maskers may enjoy their moments of rage that they put on public display.  You know, […] More

submitted by


School Suspends Black Disabled Teen for Toy Gun in Virtual Class

COLORADO SCHOOL SUSPENDS BLACK CHILD FOR HAVING OBVIOUSLY TOY GUN IN VIRTUAL CLASS Tone deaf. Or, in this case, skin tone deaf, too.  There’s really no other explanation all around.  So as you may already know, over a billion children around the world are in school virtually.  If you’re a parent, you are way, way […] More

submitted by


RAND Says The Richest Americans Taking More Than We Thought

NEW RAND CORPORATION STUDY PROVES THE RICHEST AMERICANS ARE RAKING IT IN, INCLUDING OURS So wealth distribution.  Even if you don’t know the phrase, it impacts your life in huge ways.  Today, in America, people already know that they have less than they used to.  They definitely have less than their parents did.  And we […] More

submitted by


Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Dying Wish Was A New President to Replace Her

RUTH BADER GINSBURG HAS DIED, AND HER DYING WISH IS FOR ANYONE BUT TRUMP TO REPLACE HER So Ruth Bader Ginsburg has died.  The 87-year-old US Supreme Court Justice held onto life as long as she could.  But finally succumbed to pancreatic cancer on the eve of Rosh Hashanah.  In the Jewish tradition, one who […] More

submitted by


BATS!!!! Arizona Weather Radar Shows Huge Cloud of BATS!!!

ARIZONA WEATHER RADAR FINDS NOT CLOUDS, BUT BATS, BATS, BATS!!! Some people love bats.  But not many.  Most people think they’re totally disgusting, creepy and duck for cover at first sight.  My father was, and is, terrified of them.  A lot of people are.  A good friend loves him some Batman.  But a real bat […] More

submitted by


First in 175 Years! Scientific American Endorses Joe Biden Over Trump

FOR THE 1ST TIME IN 175 YEARS, SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN ENDORSES FOR POTUS So you’ve of course heard of Scientific American.  What, you haven’t?  Well, it’s been around for a long, long, time.  Just look at the words.  Scientific and American.  It’s a journal of science, and it’s all American.  And it’s never, ever been partisan, […] More

submitted by


Fundraiser To Make DildoDon a Permanent Art Installation

DILDODON IS A PORTRAIT OF TRUMP USING DILDOS AND BUTT PLUGS, REALLY! So what’s in a name?  If you think about it just a little bit, you will likely get some idea about what DildoDon means.  First, you have the word dildo.  You know what that is, even if you swear to your dying day […] More

submitted by


US Navy Squares Ban All Hemp Products, Including Shampoo

US NAVY BRASS SQUARES BAN HEMP PRODUCTS LIKE SHAMPOO AND MOISTURIZER?  WTF So what the hell?  Is the US Navy led by the ghost of Nancy Reagan?  Just say no, then go, to hell?  So what happened is, the US Navy just issued an official ban on pretty much everything that contains hemp or cannabidiol.  […] More

submitted by


Beguiling Bombshell Diana Rigg Passes Away From Cancer, Age 82

PENULTIMATE BOND GIRL, GAME OF THRONES MATRIARCH, ACTRESS DIANA RIGG PASSES AWAY So I really, really was a big fan of the beguiling Diana Rigg.  In sad news, she has passed away at the age of 82 years.  If you’re over 40, you definitely know her from her roles as THE Bond girl and Emma […] More

submitted by


Acetaminophen, aka Tylenol, Makes People Engage in Risky Behavior

ACETAMINOPHEN PILLS LIKE TYLENOL CAN MAKE YOU TAKE EXTRA RISKY CHOICES So this is crazy weird.  If you are one of those people who pops a lot of over the counter pain pills, pay attention.  Well, or if anyone you know does and seems a little bit too adventurous and likes risky fun.  A recent […] More

submitted by


Predator Alert! Tennessee Has a Tiger On the Loose Problem

PREDATOR ALERT!  AUTHORITIES ON THE HUNT FOR TIGER ON THE LOOSE IN TENNESSEE So I’m not sure that there are many predators as dangerous as the Tiger.  Big cats are all very powerful and dangerous.  But the tiger is BIG, and is an ambush predator.  So much so, that people who have to work in […] More

submitted by



Priests on Floating Tiki Bar Save Man From Lake George Drowning

MAN DROWNING IN LAKE GEORGE SAVED BY PRIESTS ON DRY, FLOATING TIKI BAR So I know a lot of people who’ve been to Lake George.  It’s supposed to be a blast, one of those classic summer escapes.  Maybe I’ll try a visit myself some time.  But I hope to avoid anything like this happening to […] More

submitted by


4 Foot Long Snake Slithered Down Woman’s Throat While She Slept

WOMAN IN RUSSIA GOES TO SLEEP, WAKES IN PAIN, DOCTORS FIND 4-FOOT-LONG SNAKE IN HER STOMACH, WHAT!? So what the hell?  I now have another thing to be afraid of?  And the list is long, believe me.  But the order will change, as this shit is so disturbing its Survey Says will put in in […] More

submitted by



The Batman Production Halts, As Batman Robert Pattinson Gets Covid

THE BATMAN FINALLY RESUMED PRODUCTION AFTER 6 MONTHS, PATTINSON GETS COVID AFTER 3 DAYS So it was really just about a week ago that we saw a teaser for the forthcoming, The Batman.  And, it looks pretty decent, what they were willing to show us to date.  It’s dark.  The designs look amazing.  Quire the […] More

submitted by


Covid and Election Year Angst Makes Demand Boom for Psychics

STRUGGLING WITH ANGST IN A PANDEMIC ELECTION YEAR, PEOPLE ARE TURNING TO PSYCHICS FOR ANSWERS Psychics are pretty weird.  I remember when there used to be psychic shows on TV, which were totally scripted.  But then again, what’s on TV these days that isn’t?  And the days of The Mentalist are long gone.  But people […] More

submitted by


Canadian Brewery Erred, Names Beer “Pubes” by Accident

CANADIAN BREWERY GAVE GREAT, LIGHT BEER THE NAME PUBES BY ACCIDENT Beer is great.  Sometimes, the calories aren’t so great.  But the beer?  Always great.  But we’re talking real beer here.  Not that stuff Budweiser, Coors, Busch Beer stuff.  Sure, they have their place.  Ice cold on a hot day when clean water is out […] More

submitted by


Porn Legend Ron Jeremy Faces 20 Sexual Assault Charges?

PORN STAR RON JEREMY HAS EVEN MORE SEXUAL CHARGES, NOW UP TO 20 So I don’t know if you know who Ron Jeremy is.  But if Avenue Q is right, you likely do.  Because the internet is for PORN.  I happen to know Ron Jeremy because of searching for videos of Christy Canyon.  Let’s just […] More

submitted by



Peanut Butter Breakfast Makes You Bedroom Wizard

PEANUT BUTTER FOR BREAKFAST INCREASES PASSION, MAKES YOU A BEDROOM WIZARD So I used to start most mornings with peanut butter toast.  Why?  Well, I liked peanut butter, for one.  And toast is nice and easy.  If you toast your bread just right, it’s a little crunchy.  And if you get the peanut butter on […] More

submitted by


New Covid Symptom Alert: Big Balls, Less Fertility in Men

ACHING, BIG BALLS THE LATEST COVID SYMPTOM, ALSO MAY KILL FERTILITY So here’s even more news to lose sleep over.  Covid, Coronavirus, whatever the hell you call it, has caused all sorts of scary symptoms all over the world.  Neurological damage, organ failure, exhaustion, loss of smell, chills, etc. etc. etc.  And now?  Well, we’ve […] More

submitted by


Switzerland Had Chocolate Rain After Factory Accident

BECAUSE OF A FACTORY ACCIDENT, A SWISS TOWN EXPERIENCED CHOCOLATE RAIN? So the world is a weird and wonderful place.  Sometimes it’s even kind of fun, like chocolate rain.  Well, in this case, so long as you don’t have to clean up.  This story comes from Olten, Switzerland.  There’s a chocolate factory there.  But no […] More

submitted by


Gun Fans Love Man Who Shot Himself in the Balls

GUN FANS REDEFINE GUN NUTS AFTER MAN SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE BALLS, BECOMES THEIR HERO So people who love guns can seem to be a little strange.  But some, fairly, call them gun nuts.  For a wide range of different reasons, no less.  But this wasn’t a reason I would ever have imagined.  And now, […] More

submitted by


So Exactly How Much is a Buttload, Really? It’s a Lot

HOW MUCH IS A BUTTLOAD?  WELL, THERE’S AN EXACT AND REAL ANSWER, IT’S A REAL WORD! So how much did that cost?  A Buttload?  Wow!  That’s a lot!  But how much, exactly?  It’s always just seemed to be… a lot.  But like so much with language, sometimes so much is just slang.  But sometimes it’s […] More

submitted by


Sneaky Burglars Steal 1 Million Yen From Ninja Museum

SNEAKY THIEVES STEAL OVER 1 MILLION YEN IN 3 MINUTES FROM NINJA MUSEUM So first off, there’s a ninja museum?  That’s really cool.  It is, of course, in Japan. In Iga city in the Mie prefecture, to be precise.  Because that’s where the Iga Ninja Clan originated.  It’s located in a remote forest area.  But […] More

submitted by


A New Beastmaster in the Works as Original Master Lost

REMEMBER THE BEASTMASTER?  ANOTHER IS ON THE WAY, BUT THE ORIGINAL MASTER REELS ARE LOST So with kids these days, they probably have never heard of the movie Beastmaster.  It came out in 1982 which is, looking back, a long ass time ago.  But way back then, if you were a kid like I was, […] More

submitted by


CDC Warns Stores, Don’t Confront Crazy Anti-Maskers

SAD DAY WHEN THE CDC HAS TO WARN STORES NOT TO CONFRONT ANTI-MASKERS So this is where we are?  Well, I suppose it is.  The RNC is happening right now, after all.  Historians will note it as the most deceit-filled celebration ever in American politics.  The Hatch Act?  Forget about it.  Racist?  You bet.  Anti-science?  […] More

submitted by


Michigan At Last to Pay Flint Survivors $600 Million For Poisoned Water

FLINT, MICHIGAN RESIDENTS START GETTING JUSTICE WITH $600 MILLION PAYOUT So this is new news about an old scandal.  Remember Flint, Michigan?  You know, the town that suffered an insane amount of lead poisoning from their water?  Well, it’s back in the news again.  But this time, it spells out some justice at long last.  […] More

submitted by


Florida to Release 750 Million Mosquitos to Combat…. Mosquitos

FLORIDA TO RELEASE 750 MILLION MOSQUITOS TO KILL DANGEROUS MOSQUITOS Mosquitos totally suck.  Literally.  And as it’s the summer season, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Well, if you don’t live in an arid location, that is.  But mosquitos are all over the world, especially wet places like Florida.  Just think of all those […] More

submitted by


Empowered Women Post Topless Nature Colorado Pics

WOMEN TAKING TOPLESS PICS IN COLORADO NATURE, POSTING THIM IN CELEBRATION ON SOCIAL MEDIA So a lot of people don’t seem to be getting this.  Sure, the breast is still a controversial object.  But that’s just the thing.  It’s not an object.  But many can’t be objective about them.  But for many women, they are […] More

submitted by


As Season 4 of Stranger Things Wraps, Season 5 Confirmed!

CONFIRMED! STRANGER THINGS WILL DEFINITELY HAVE A SEASON 5 AS SEASON 4 WRAPS So we are inundated with media and shows like never before.  Does that dilute quality?  Maybe.  Definitely, when it comes to the news.  But some shows stand out as fantastic fun.  And if you’ve already watched any of Stranger Things, you know […] More

submitted by


Nepal Celebrates First Ever Rare, Godlike Gold Turtle

NEPAL FINDS THEIR FIRST EVER GOLD TURTLE, WHICH MANY WORSHIP AS A GOD So we all have to come out of our shells sometime.  And people in Nepal are certainly doing that in celebration.  But as this is all new to me, I’ll reasonably assume it is for you, too.  A gold turtle is a […] More

submitted by


Man Wraps Neighbor’s Car in Plastic for Stealing Parking Spot

BRILLIANT REVENGE PRANK AS MAN WRAPS CAR IN PLASTIC WRAP IN HIS PARKING SPOT So have you ever heard the saying, revenge is a dish best served cold?  It’s a good one, and it certainly has its place and time.  But how about wrapped revenge?  Now, I have to offer a disclaimer here.  I have […] More

submitted by


Dipshit Sues Online Date for $150,000 For Getting Herpes Kiss

DIPSHIT SUES ONLINE DATE FOR ALLEGEDLY GIVING HIM HERPES SIMPLEX COLD SORES I don’t like dipshits.  Even though this might have made me one, too.  What’s a dipshit?  Well, I’m about to explain that to you.  Because this is the perfect example of one.  His name is Martin Conway.  He’s a personal trainer and went […] More

submitted by


Yale Welcomes Back Students, Warns Then They Will Face Death

HONEST YALE ADMINISTRATOR WARNS STUDENTS THEY WILL FACE DEATH THIS FALL So I’ve got a friend whose kid is starting college this fall.  I’m so glad my own brood are still too young.  First, they lose out on their high school graduation and proms.  Then, they “go” to college in the fall?  With Coronavirus?  I’d […] More

submitted by


Canadian Province Recommends Glory Hole For Safe Covid Sex

WOW! BRITISH COLUMBIA SAYS A GLORY HOLE IS A GREAT, SAFE WAY FOR COVID ERA SEX! Canada sometimes feels so close, yet so far away.  I’m sure people who wanted to avoid the Viet Nam draft felt the same way.  But this time, it’s a virtual, cultural(?), dissonance.  So yes, the Covid pandemic has made […] More

submitted by


WTF? Husband Commits Suicide For No Sex, Police Arrest Wife?

POLICE ARREST WIFE AFTER HUSBAND COMMITS SUICIDE FOR NO SEX LIFE AT ALL Marriage can be challenging.  If you’re married, or ever have been, you know this is true.  It’s called life.  Well, married life.  But sometimes it’s more than a challenge.  Sometimes, it’s deadly, usually by murder.  But marital neglect has a big impact, […] More

submitted by


Buck Naked German Man Chases Wild Boar For Laptop Computer

WILD BOAR MOMMA MAKES OFF WITH LAPTOP BAG, BUCK NAKED GERMAN MAN RUNS IN PURSUIT So naturists are interesting people.  And it’s more popular than prudes like us Americans have any clue of.  Evidently, there’s a lot to experiencing the world buck naked.  I must say being naked in a hot tub next to the […] More

submitted by


BP Worker Wins Big After Downfall Nazi Parody Dismissal

DOWNFALL PARODY GETS BP WORKER FIRED, BUT HE WINS BIG, GETS THE LAST LAUGH So have you ever heard about the Downfall parodies?  No?  Well, Downfall is the name from a 2004 movie where there’s a now famous scene of Hitler losing his shit.  It really is quite the scene.  But so much so, that […] More

submitted by


The Bigger the Porn Diet, The Smaller the Erection

STUDY REVEALS THE TRUTH, YOUR BIG PORN DIET MAKES FOR ONE SMALL ERECTION Well, this comes as a complete surprise.  No, really.  And, well, I don’t mean that surprise in any particular personal way, either.  A new study has given up the goods on the bads that porn does down there.  It seems that the […] More

submitted by


New Video Shows Police Handcuff Special Needs 8-Year-Old Boy

POLICE ARREST 8-YEAR-OLD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS AFTER SUBSTITUTE TEACHER SCREWS THE POOCH So much to say here.  But outrage can’t fit onto the largest canvas, even here.  So this is new news on an old arrest.  In 2018, police arrested an 8-year-old boy with special needs.  Did he kill someone? No.  Did he have a […] More

submitted by


People Donating Their Hair to Clean Up Mauritius Oil Spill

LOCALS IN MAURITIUS USING HUMAN HAIR DONATIONS TO CLEAN UP MASSIVE OIL SPILL So this is interesting, if disappointing news.  There is a massive oil spill happening in Mauritius.  If you don’t know it, it’s in the Indian Ocean.  It has beautiful beaches, amazing fishing and protected wetlands.  And there’s a huge oil spill threatening […] More

submitted by


Terrified Mike Tyson Puts Shark to Sleep, Tickling Its Nose

BEFORE GOING BACK IN THE RING, MIKE TYSON GOES UNDERWATER TO PUT SHARK TO SLEEP WITH NOSE TICKLING So Mike Tyson is making a comeback.  You may have already heard that news.  Geriatric boxing is in vogue these days.  I must say, I’m kind of interested.  But also will be horrified if any of these […] More

submitted by


WTF? Tax Dollars Paying for Moderna Covid Vaccine, You’ll Then Buy

TRUMP FUNDING THE MODERNA VACCINE TO GET RE-ELECTED, AND WE’LL PAY FOR IT TWICE So everyone keeps talking about how we need a vaccine for Covid-19.  And, maybe we do.  Especially since the United States has dropped every ball that every motley fool has ever tried to juggle.  Maybe you just heard about that motorcycle […] More

submitted by


Trump Admin Warns Americans Away From New Zealand “Health Risks”

TRUMP ADMIN WARNS AMERICANS AWAY FROM NEW ZEALAND OVER NON-EXISTENT HEATLH RISKS So when you have a baby in his dotage as President of the United States, you can see some wacky, petty stuff.  And it certainly seems to be that way now.  Because when it comes to Donald Trump, there is no bar.  It’s […] More

submitted by


Meet Big Daddy, The Murderous Croc Reformed by Marriage

AFRICA’S OLDEST CROC WAS THE TANA TERROR BEFORE MARRIAGE, NOW HE’S THE BIG DADDY So I used to know a guy who referred to himself as Big Daddy.  He was fun to hang around with.  But I don’t think anything could happen where you would ever call him reformed.  Like, ever.  But marriage changes a […] More

submitted by


Georgia Principal Suspends Student For Posting Mask-less High School Crowd

GEORGIA STUDENT POSTS PIC EXPOSING MASK-LESS COVID NIGHTMARE SCENARIO, PRINCIPAL SUSPENDS HER So maybe you’ve already seen this photo?  It’s of a lot of students at the North Paulding High School in Dallas, Georgia.  Those students are packed into there, as you can see.  Most of the students are mask-less.  It’s just the first day […] More

submitted by



Leech Goes in Man’s Penis, Drinks A Liter of His Blood

HORROR STORY AS OLDER MAN GET LEECH IN HIS PENIS WHILE GOING FOR A SWIM IN CAMBODIA So my first reaction to this is, oh, hell no.  No way.  Ever.  I don’t even want to think about this.  But here goes.  You have heard all sorts of nightmare stories about things that can happen to […] More

submitted by


Hartford Sovereign Citizen Cuts Off Landlord’s Head When Told to Get Out

TENANT, SOVEREIGN CITIZEN, CUTS OFF LANDLORD’S HEAD WHEN TOLD TO GET OUT So have you ever heard the expression, that’s nothing to lose your head over?  Well, this is no different.  But, a different, literal, outcome.  Have you ever heard of the term, “sovereign citizen?”  No?  Well, someone who considers themselves a sovereign citizen believes […] More

submitted by


Cab Driver Serial Killer Fed 50 Bodies to Crocodiles, Sold Their Cars

SERIAL KILLER MURDERED OVER 100 CABBIES, FED THEIR BODIES TO CROCODILES So this is rather frightening, if you are a taxi driver.  Well, or maybe it’s just frightening, period.  A doctor in India had a side gig the likes of which you would never imagine.  He killed cab drivers.  Like, more than 50 cab drivers.  […] More

submitted by


UK Gov to Invest in Lady Friendly Sex-Party Company, Killing Kittens

UK INVESTS IN SEX-PARTY STARTUP, KILLING KITTENS, TO SURVIVE PANDEMIC MARKET So this is pretty interesting.  I remember the days when people on dating apps were kind of odd.  Maybe they were just desperate?  But that is ancient history now.  Everything is online these days.  Even services that help organize a sex-party for interested…. parties.  […] More

submitted by


Did Trump and Kodak Just Enjoy Insider Trading Via US Tax Dollars?

DID U.S. TAX DOLLARS FACILITATE INSIDER TRADING FOR KODAK WITH GOVERNMENT LOAN? So this stinks to high heaven all the way down to perdition’s flames.  The United States sometimes gives out loans to companies to facilitate the products to satisfy the public need.  And that’s totally fine.  The pandemic has created a LOT of need […] More

submitted by



Trump Doctor Believes in Demon Sperm, Alien DNA, Hydroxychloroquine

TRUMP NUT DOCTOR BELIEVES IN HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE, DEMON SPERM AND ALIEN DNA So no doubt you’ve heard the latest brouhaha about Donald Trump and his retweeting.  But of course it’s impossible to keep up with Trump on social media.  I mean, the guy tweets more than middle school kids, these days even!  But some Trump tweets […] More

submitted by


Vegan Health Nut Drinks Semen Shakes to Beat Back Covid

VEGAN BODYBUILDER SWEARS DRINKING SEMEN SHAKES IS PROTECTION FROM COVID So I’ve heard a lot of stories about the healing power of semen.  Well, especially for skin, anyway.  I’ve read a ton of testimonials about how good it is for a face.  A facial, if you prefer.  But I’ve even heard this from women in […] More

submitted by


Barcelona Seizes Apartments From Landlords Who Won’t Rent Them

BARCELONA ABOUT TO SEIZE EMPTY APARTMENTS FROM LANDLORDS FOR HALF MARKET VALUE So this is interesting.  I’m familiar with the term eminent domain.  That’s what happens when the government seizes property for necessary public use.  And I think that is dicey, as it often is used for profit more than the public interest.  But what’s […] More

submitted by


Who You Gonna Call? A Paranormal Helpline in India

INDIA HAS A PARANORMAL HELPLINE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE “SEEING” THINGS THEY CAN CALL So like all movies, we’ll have to wait a little longer for the new Ghostbusters movie to come out.  But, most of us don’t feel comfortable to come out, either.  Thanks a lot, Covid!  But some people are feeling the walls […] More

submitted by


Coronavirus Fails to Cancel Texas Testicle Festival 2020

COVID AIN’T CANCELLING THE TEXAS TESTICLE FESTIVAL IN THE PANDEMIC YEAR, 2020 So have you ever been to a ball?  Ok, cheap shot.  Or, maybe, it just came too early.  Premature…. Humor.  But yes, the title did not lie.  There is a Texas Testicle Festival in the year 2020.  And somehow, the Coronavirus failed to […] More

submitted by


Italian Cops Find Shipment of Coffee Beans Filled With Cocaine

ITALIAN POLICE INTERCEPT COCAINE IN COFFEE BEANS, THANKS TO MOVIE REFERENCES So Italian police made a pretty nice drug haul, thanks to some pulp knowledgeable officers.  They found a shipment of coffee beans with cocaine in them.  Pretty clever, really.  But this takes me back to Beverly Hills Cop.  The first one, of course.  As […] More

submitted by



26-Year-Old Russian Sexologist Found Dead on Bed, Naked

YOUNG, HOT RUSSIAN SEXOLOGIST FOUND DEAD, NAKED ON HOTEL ROOM BED So this is weird.  A sexologist and Russian celebrity is dead, and it’s a bit of a mystery.  Her name is Anna Ambartsumyan.  The young and married woman was quite well known, so police are sure to take the investigation pretty seriously.  You know, […] More

submitted by


Police Raid Sex Cult, Run By 77-Year-Old Called The Doctor

ITALIAN POLICE RAID SEX CULT RUN BY OLD MAN MEMBER CALLED THE DOCTOR So cults clearly exist all over the world.  And cults almost always involve sex as a power dynamic.  But a sex cult is all about the sex as a tool of power.  But this one has been around for some time without […] More

submitted by


Masked Thief Breaks Penal Code, Steals 40lb Dildo, Moby

IN LAS VEGASS, MASKED THIEF MAKES OFF WITH GIANT DILDO, MOBY So what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  Except when it comes to a massive, 40lb dildo, anyway.  A masked thief made quite the heist this week, an over the shoulder dildo holder, in fact.  Come again, you ask?  No, it’s a fact.  The […] More

submitted by


Southampton Eatery Burns Epstein and Weinstein’s Regular Table

SOUTHAMPTON EATERY OWNER CONDUCTS EXORCISM ON REGULAR TABLE OF EPSTEIN AND WEINSTEIN So the Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein scandals are still percolating.  But I expect we’ll hear more about Epstein in the coming months, assuming Ghislaine Maxwell lives long enough to spill the beans for a deal.  But both sexual predator fiends were major […] More

submitted by



Trump Sends in Feds, Grabbing People Off the Street in Portland

FEDERAL AGENTS ARE GRABBING PEOPLE OFF THE STREETS IN PORTLAND, OREGON So this is big, bad and dangerous news.  Earlier this week, things in Portland, Oregon got a LOT darker.  Yes, Portland is one of many cities where there are still protests happening as a result of George Floyd’s death at the hands of Minneapolis […] More

submitted by


Georgia Cops Respond to Body On Tracks, But It’s a Sex Doll

GEORGIA COPS RESPOND TO REPORT OF BODY NEAR TRAIN TRACKS, BUT IT’S A SEX DOLL So Georgia is a mess these days.  You may have heard the governor there banned any bans on face masks.  So it’s a dicey situation there.  But Georgia cops got taken for a ride earlier this week.  And last I […] More

submitted by


Bored With Covid Closeting? Visit Ramesses VI Tomb in 3D Virtual Tour

TRAPPED AT HOME BECAUSE COVID?  VISIT THE TOMB OF EGYPTIAN PHARAOH, RAMESSES VI So I’m lucky enough to still be working from home.  And yes, it has its challenges.  More than a few.  But some days, I just want to take a break from the realities I find with the walls and windows around me.  […] More

submitted by


Minneapolis Cops Used Drones to Spy on People on Nude Beach

MINNEAPOLIS COPS SEND IN DRONES TO SPY ON PEOPLE FOR BEING NUDE AT LOCAL BEACH So there’s a lot going on with the Minneapolis police in recent times.  Surely, you’ve heard.  And a lot of people want to defund the police department and start over from scratch.  And this story may increase that idea.  I […] More

submitted by


US Navy Finally Boasts First Black, Female Fighter Pilot Like, Ever

MADELINE SWEGLE JUST BECAME THE FIRST BLACK, FEMALE US NAVAL FIGHTER PILOT, EVER Her name is Madeline Swegle and she’s awesome.  Well, she’s now a major figure in American history, too.  As you can see, Madeline is black and a woman.  But she’s also now the very first fighter pilot in the US Navy, ever.  […] More

submitted by


Woman Divorces Husband, Then Marries Stepson, 20 Years Old

SHE MARRIES THE STEPSON SHE RAISED RIGHT AFTER DIVORCING HIS FATHER So the ick factor here is… extremely high.  Ick.  ICK.  But I can’t comment on true love, as it is the free range of poets and unrequited dreamers.  Well, and the Princess Bride, of course.  But some relationships simply mystify me.  Others, I find […] More

submitted by


Great White Sharks in New York & New Jersey Waters, More to Come

GREAT WHITE SHARKS ARE NEAR NEW YORK AND THE JERSEY SHORE, AND THEIR FRIENDS ARE COMING TOO So great white sharks have been around the Northeast before.  Shoot, they actually are here kind of all the time.  But we don’t tend to see them too much near beaches around New York City or the nearby […] More

submitted by


Police Hunting Local Homeless German Rambo in Black Forest

GERMAN RAMBO IS A REAL THING, WITH MANHUNT IN THE BLACK FOREST NEAR BORDER WITH FRANCE So how can this be happening?  I remember seeing the movie Rambo for the first time and it was quite the big deal.  Small town hick politics.  80’s continuing rejection of hippy culture.  And the incredibly awkward niches only […] More

submitted by


Damn Fool Michael Cohen Back in Jail, Skips House Arrest for UES Meal

MICHAEL COHEN, A DAMN FOOL, IS BACK IN PRISON FOR GOING TO A RESTAURANT NEAR HOME So Michael Cohen is back in the news.  How to you spell damn fool?  Well, sure, spoiler alert.  But what’s the new spelling for damn fool?  Michael Cohen.  Little Mikey was President Trump’s personal lawyer.  But Trump abandoned Cohen, […] More

submitted by


NBA in Orlando, A Bubble in An Exploding Bubble as Petrie Dish

NBA SEASON RESUMES AS BUBBLE IN EXPLODING BUBBLE, A PETRIE DISH FOR US TO WATCH So NBA fans already know.  The season is set to resume, and fairly soon.  Normally, the BVA season would have already ended by now, the post-season included.  But not this year.  This year, we’re all stuck in the Coronavirus pandemic, […] More

submitted by


Man Stole 126 Flip-Flops for Shoe Fetish Sex, Major Legal Flop

POLICE ARREST KINKY MAN WITH 126 PAIRS OF STOLEN FLIP-FLOPS HE USED FOR SEX So we all like getting jiggy with it.  And by that, I mean we all like getting it on, getting it off, etc.  Pretty much everyone needs sexual release.  But not everyone finds that release in quite the same ways.  And […] More

submitted by


What Was Up With That Giant Mosquito in Argentina?

MAN IN ARGENTINA POSTS PIC OF GIANT MOSQUITO HIS MOTHER LOST HER MIND OVER, WITH CAUSE So pardon me for being an in-season sorta guy.  But now that mosquitos are out and about all over the continental US, this shit just got real (well, from January).  I hate mosquitos.  Pretty much everyone hates mosquitos.  Combine […] More

submitted by


Presidential Heads Crumble in Virginia Field, Testament of Today

IN A TESTAMENT OF TODAY’S REALITY, 43 PRESIDENTIAL HEADS SLOWLY CRUMBLE IN A VIRGINIA FIELD So much is going wrong these days in the United States.  Just as we finally enter a phase of addressing our history of slavery, we also have a pandemic that reaches far into our future.  And speaking of the foundations […] More

submitted by


Will Ghislaine Maxwell Live to Tell All the Tales She Knows?

GHISLAINE MAXWELL HAS SOME TALES TO TELL, BUT WILL SHE LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO? Ghislaine Maxwell.  Her name is a pain to pronounce.  But that is nothing compared to the pain coming to many of the world’s rich and famous if she tells all the tales she knows.  Just think about it!  Ghislaine faces multiple […] More

submitted by


Doctor Declared Woman Dead, Then She Wakes Up in a Body Bag

DOCTOR DECLARES PARAGUAY WOMAN DEAD, BUT THEN SHE WAKES UP IN A BODY BAG AT FUNERAL HOME Her name was, and still remains, Gladys Rodriguez Duarte.  But why both?  Well, because she was dead, so remains is a pun.  Except, she wasn’t dead.  So her name remains the same.  But whatever, right?  Gladys is from […] More

submitted by


Berlin Wants to Ban Deodorant on Mass Transit, Because Covid

BERLIN OFFICIALS TO BAN WEARING DEODORANT ON MASS TRANSIT, BECAUSE COVID So this is definitely in the weird news category.  I’ve only been to Berlin once, years ago in the late 1990s.  It’s an amazing and interesting city.  But as someone who knows New York City pretty well, Berlin struck me as really, really big.  […] More

submitted by


Brilliant Western Soundtrack Composer Ennio Morricone Gone

BRILLIANT ENNIO MORRICONE, COMPOSER OF WESTERN MOVIES, PASSES AWAY AT 91 So you know Ennio Morricone.  Really, you do.  Have you ever seen a Spaghetti Western?  Clint Eastwood, hello?  Maybe Once Upon a Time in the West?  Or Once Upon a Time in America?  Yes, they were all directed by the amazing Sergio Leone.  But […] More

submitted by


Beer Binge With No Pee Makes Man’s Bladder Explode

MAN BINGE DRINKS BEER, PASSES OUT, DOESN’T PEE, AND HAD HIS BLADDER EXPLODE So remember that time that you had too much beer to drink?  And no, I’m not talking about the morning after.  You suddenly remember that you haven’t eaten any fiber for years?  But it doesn’t matter?  Well, no, that’s not what this […] More

submitted by


Topless British Woman Saves 3 People from Drowning in Cornwall

THREE WERE DROWNING IN CORNWALL, ENGLAND, THEN A TOPLESS WOMAN CAME TO SAVE THEM So I don’t know how else to say it.  But the kid in me would have been more than fascinated to see this.  As it is, the headline shouldn’t be an attention grabber.  But yet, it is.  Two sisters and their […] More

submitted by


Police Seize $1.2 Billion in Amphetamines, Biggest Drug Bust Ever

ITALIANS MAKE RECORD DRUG BUST, $1.2 BILLION IN AMPHETAMINES FROM SYRIA So it looks like we may need to revisit Miami Vice as a show in Salerno, Italy.  Because Sonny and Crockett never made a score like this.  No one has, till now.  But even though drug busts happen every day across the world, the […] More

submitted by


1792 Virginia Law Against Swearing Finally Repealed in 2020

VIRGINIA COMMONWEALTH LAW FROM 1792 AGAINST SWEARING FINALLY OFF THE BOOKS AT LAST So laws in the United States can be pretty damn weird.  As you know, different states have different laws on the books.  And some of them are old, outdated and maybe even outright stupid.  Every year, we hear about laws that state […] More

submitted by


Johnny Depp Ordered Drugs, So Was He A Domestic Abuser Too?

IF JOHNNY DEPP HID TEXTS ORDERING COCAINE AND ECSTASY, IS HE HIDING BEING A WIFE BEATER, TOO? So Johnny Depp is in the news again.  And no, it’s not about the next installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean series.  Though, I must say I’m excited to hear about a certain blond actress.  Anyway, Johnny […] More

submitted by


See the Face of Man’s Skull, Mounted on a Stake 8,000 Years Ago

WE CAN NOW SEE THE FACE OF A MAN WHOSE SKULL WAS ON A STAKE 8,000 YEARS AGO So this is kind of crazy.  There’s a saying about putting a face on things.  But this time, it’s a little mind blowing.  That man in the picture above was a real person, 8,000 years ago.  And […] More

submitted by


Swinger Sex Festival Won’t Happen, Because Coronavirus

CORONAVIRUS CANCELS HUGE SEX FESTIVAL FOR SWINGERS IN ENGLAND So I’m not part of the swinger scene.  Wait, what?  You don’t know what that is?  Let’s just say, you’re married.  But you swing.  So if you went to a swingers’ party, you’d be up for having sex with someone who’s not your spouse or partner.  […] More

submitted by


Poor Sap Buys Gorgeous Lamborghini, Crashes 20 Minutes Later

AFTER FALLING IN LOVE WITH NEW LAMBORGHINI, POOR SAP CRASHES CAR AFTER JUST 20 MINUTES So nice cars are, well, nice cars.  There’s nothing like the smell of a new car.  That’s why they sell it in a can.  But a luxury speedster?  I’ve never been in one as nice as a brand new Lamborghini.  […] More

submitted by


Coke Cock: Police Arrest Man Smuggling Cocaine in Fake Penis

IDIOT TRIES TO SMUGGLE COCAINE IN A FAKE PENIS, POLICE GIVE HIM A COKE COCK BLOCK So this, it seems, is a story about a real life coke cock block.  That’s right, a penis with cocaine inside of it.  Well, a fake penis, to be fair.  That would be one epic blow job, amirite?  So […] More

submitted by


Durian Fruit Strikes Again, Evacuating Post Office in Bavaria

POST OFFICE IN BAVARIA THE LATEST VICTIM OF THE DURIAN FRUIT, WITH PANIC AND EVACUATION So do you know the durian fruit?  It’s quite the little stinker.  And it’s caused havoc from time to time in a lot of places.  And now, we can add Bavaria to that list!  Well, Bavaria is in Germany.  Regardless, […] More

submitted by


Jaws Mayor is a Character All Over Covid United States

MAYOR CHARACTER FROM JAWS IS PRESENT ALL OVER THE UNITED STATES WITH COVID So have you ever seen the Movie, Jaws?  It was an early Spielberg flick with great actors and a scary ass prop, a great white shark terrorizing a northeastern island.  And that island, of course, had a mayor character.  But the reality […] More

submitted by


Neo-Nazi Satanist US Army Soldier to Attack Own Unit

US ARMY PRIATE WORKS WITH NEO-NAZI SATANIST GROUP TO ATTEMPT TERRORIST ATTACK ON HIS OWN UNIT So remember how we used to talk about how domestic terrorists were a real threat to the United States?  Well, it seems to still be true.  But this time, a member of a terrorist group was also a US […] More

submitted by


Global Warming Update: Siberia Sees 100 Degree Temps

TOWN IN SIBERIA SEES RECORD TEMPS, OVER 100 DEGREES, GULAG NOT SO DAMN COLD ANYMORE So global warming is still totally happening.  Sure, we’ve all got the Coronavirus reality these days, all over the world.  And here in the States, that looks to be true longer than we ever imagined.  But things like global warming […] More

submitted by


Secret Passageway Found at United Kingdom’s Parliament

ENGLAND DISCOVERS FORGOTTEN, SECRET PASSAGEWAY IN HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT History is crazy.  Sometimes not in a good way.  But sometimes, it’s kinda damn fun.  And this is definitely one of those times.  Pictured above is Lindsay Hoyle, the Speaker of the House in the UK.  And what is he doing in a wall?  Well, he’s […] More

submitted by


India Catches Supposed Spy Pigeon From Pakistan

INDIA CAPTURES SUPPOSED SPY PIGEON, INSTANTLY BLAMES PAKISTAN So where to begin?  This is a story about a spy pigeon.  Yes, a spy pigeon.  No, and we’re not talking about an ugly person.  A bird.  A flying rat, some say.  Pretty much the most common bird around most of the world.  The bane of Venice, […] More

submitted by


Get Nipple Rings for Better Sex, and Bigger Orgasms

NIPPLE RINGS CAN IMPROVE YOUR SEX LIFE, CREATE MUCH BIGGER ORGASMS THAN EVER BEFORE So I remember back when body piercings were seriously unusual.  Then, they became pretty much a casual sight.  But I’m still a little titillated when it comes to certain body parts with rings in them.  But nipple rings?  They’re not just […] More

submitted by


Whoops, Ford Bronco Schedules Release Date, O.J. Simpson’s Bday

NEW FORD BRONCO RELEASE DATE SET FOR JULY 9TH, O.J. SIMPSON’S BIRTHDAY So I never thought I’d be writing about O.J. Simpson.  Like, ever.  Even just thinking about him makes me mad.  Sure, he is likely a murderer and all that.  And that’s insurmountable.  But I’ll never forget how mad I was trying to watch […] More

submitted by


Vienna Police Fine Man For Farting at Them, With Intent

MAN FARTS AT MORE THAN GENERAL DIRECTION OF VIENNA POLICE, POLICE FINE MAN So much for policing being a breeze, especially these days.  So many things these days are silent, but deadly.  You know, the pandemic?  But recent news from across the Atlantic Ocean now include police in Vienna assessing a fine for less than […] More

submitted by


Temptation Gives 16 Friends Covid As Florida Lockdown Ends

16 FRIENDS GIVE IN TO TEMPTATION, HAVE A NIGHT OUT, NOW HAVE CORONAVIRUS So most major religions include themes about how to avoid temptation.  Or, rather, how important it is to avoid temptation.  And right now, we’re all suffering from temptation.  Coronavirus has upended our lives for months now.  And the weather is nicer.  The […] More

submitted by


Some Idiot Left $191,000 in Gold Bars on Swiss Train

SWISS AUTHORITIES CONFUSED AS SOMEONE LEFT $191,000 IN GOLD BARS ON A TRAIN Sometimes you feel like you totally missed the boat.  But this time, I feel like I missed the train.  Big time.  Because if I had been on this train, I just might have been the one to discover a bag with $191,000 […] More

submitted by


Penn. Woman Had Grandma’s Body in Freezer for Social Security Checks

GRANDMA IN FREEZER FOR 15 YEARS SO FAMILY COULD COLLECT SOCIAL SECURITY CHECKS So with all the political histrionics about how bad Social Security is, this is worse.  Sure, there is fraud on occasion.  But certain rightwing voices say it’s minorities and illegal immigrants.  So of course, there’s no there, there.  But when fraud happens, […] More

submitted by


John Cleese Wicked Pissed About Removal of Faulty Towers Removal

UKTV REMOVES FAULTY TOWERS EPISODE FOR RACIST LANGUAGE, JOHN CLEESE WICKED PISSED Oh, my.  That’s what my grandmother would say.  It was always an understatement about something so ridiculous, nothing else would be polite.  So about this little racist language situation of an old Faulty Towers episode?  Oh, my.  But the former Minister of Funny […] More

submitted by


Man on Train Dies, Absolutely No One Notices for Five Hours

MAN DIES ON ENGLISH TRAIN FROM HEART ATTACK, NO ONE NOTICES FOR FIVE HOURS So this is not the way anyone wants to go.  And no, we obviously don’t have any control of that sort of thing.  But this is not on my list for how I kick the bucket, fingers crossed.  A man in […] More

submitted by


Lady Boxer Tests Positive For Banned Substance From Having Sex

OLYMPIC HOPEFUL LADY BOXER TESTS POSITIVE FOR BANNED SUBSTANCES FROM HAVING SEX So her name is Ginny Fuchs.  She’s a lady and a boxer.  She’s also an Olympic hopeful who hopes to medal for the United States.  But her dream and commitment almost came to naught.  Why? She tested positive for a banned substance.  The […] More

submitted by


Trump’s Space Force Losing Trademark Fight With Space Force on Netflix

TRUMP’S U.S. SPACE FORCE LOSING TRADEMARK FIGHT WITH THE TV SHOW ON NETFLIX So it seems comedy trumps…. Um, Trump.  At least when it comes to a trademark fight over the very same name.  Now that’s funny.  Really, really funny.  S I haven’t watched too much of the show, Space Force quite yet.  But it’s […] More

submitted by


Galveston Texas Scene of Twerking, Topless Arrests

KIDS THESE DAYS JUST CAN’T HANDLE A PANDEMIC LIKE THEY USED TO, SO TWERKING TOPLESS ARRESTS ABOUND So this isn’t totally recent news.  But it is sadly funny all the same.  We’ve all seen footage from somewhere of people not practicing social distancing well,.  Or hell, at all for that matter.  But some of these […] More

submitted by


All-Inclusive Orgy Resort Sex Island Opens During Coronavirus

SEX ISLAND RESORT OFFERS PROSTITUTES, ORGIES, AND NO CONDOMS IN SIGHT So clearly hands get tired, especially in a pandemic.  But in most of the United States, it’s against the law to get personal help in resting your poor appendage.  So to speak.  In other words, prostitution is largely illegal everywhere in the US.  But […] More

submitted by


Because Trump , Americans Gargling Bleach, Misting With Disinfectant

THANKS DONALD TRUMP, YOUR “JOKE” HAS AMERICANS GARGLING BLEACH AND MISTING DISINFECTANTS So fear is the mind killer.  Well, one of them, anyway.  But it is an ageless truth that fear makes people do stupid, even crazy things.  And Coronavirus is no exception.  Indeed, Covid-19 has opened quite the number of Pandora’s Boxes of late.  […] More

submitted by


Feisty Grandma Jennie Stejna, 103, Beats Covid and Has a Bud Light

JENNIE STEJNA, 103 YEAR OLD GRANDMA, BEATS CORONAVIRUS AND CELEBRATES WITH A BUD LIGHT So Coronavirus is all about the numbers.  The younger you are, the better off you are.  Especially if you catch it.  If you smoke, those numbers are bad. If you have other health problems, bad.  Pretty much, you want to be […] More

submitted by


Because Black People Might Buy Guns, Walmart Finally Removes Them Nationally

WALMART REMOVES GUNS FROM ALL STORES NATIONALLY, JUST AS BLACK PEOPLE MAY BUY THEM So we’ve had how many mass shootings in the United States in the past several years?  Well, if you don’t know the answer, it’s because there have been far too many.  Like, it’s been epic.  But the essentially defunct NRA has […] More

submitted by


Psychedelic Toad Venom Ritual, Penis Candles, Porn Star and Murder

DON’T EVER SMOKE TOAD VENOM WITH A PORN STAR WHO MAKES PENIS CANDLES, EVER So do you remember that time that you took part in that mystic ritual involving psychedelic toad venom, a porn star and penis candles?  Surely not.  Because if you could, you’d still be scarred.  So you forgot to protect yourself.  But […] More

submitted by


Final U.S. Civil War Pensioner Passes Away at Age 90

THE LAST U.S. CIVIL WAR PENSION RECIPIENT JUST PASSED AWAY AT THE AGE OF 90 Her name is Irene Triplett and she was the last person alive directly connected to the Civil War.  She just passed away.  And no, she wasn’t alive during during the war, of course.  But she was the very last person […] More

submitted by


Pre-Christian Israelites Smoked Cannabis in Ancient Temples

ANCIENT ISRAELITES SMOKED CANNABIS IN 2,700 YEAR OLD TEMPLE, RESEARCHERS PROVE So cannabis keeps coming up in the news.  It’s becoming increasingly legal across America.  Pot itself in classic joints, vapes of all flavors and varieties, you name it.  But  we also keep learning more and more how much humans have used cannabis over the […] More

submitted by


After 75 Day Vermont Retreat, Man Asks, Did I Miss Anything?

MAN TAKES 75 DAY RETREAT IN VERMONT, RETURNS TO THE WORLD AND ASKS IF HE MISSED ANYTHING Wow.  This is amazing.  I bet this guy felt like the groundhog and wanted to run back to shelter.  So he’s 33 years old and his name is Daniel Thorson.  Back in March, he checked into a silent […] More

submitted by


Pat Robertson (!) Slams Trump, Calls for Minnesota Justice

PAT ROBERTSON SLAMS TRUMP, CALLS FOR JUSTICE IN MINNESOTA, TO GET DISTANCE FROM SINKING PREZ? So I don’t like Pat Robertson.  Actually, I dislike him a lot.  With reason.  So I don’t know if a stopped clock is right twice a day or not here.  Maybe, what’s happening in the United States since the police […] More

submitted by


New Covid-Safe Desk Design Could Face Serious Criticism

SMART COVID-SAFE DESK DESIGN COULD HAVE PROBLEMS, LOOKS LIKE SWASTIKA Wow.  I’m guessing this is a cultural blind spot.  Because any other explanation deserves serious criticism and no forgiveness whatsoever.  All you have to do is look a the picture.  There just might be a small problem with the design.  What, you don’t see it?  […] More

submitted by


Flying Turtle Smashes Thru Car Windshield, Doesn’t Make It

FLYING TURTLE SMASHES THRU CAR’S WINDSHIELD ON SAVANNAH, GEORGIA HIGHWAY Usually, you want to see the disclaimer that no animals were hurt.  But this isn’t one of those times.  I mean we’re talking about a flying turtle.  Yes, a flying turtle.  In Savannah, Georgia, no less.  A resident and her brother were driving north on […] More

submitted by


WTF?! LG Poland Goes Upskirt in Latest Cell Phone Ad

HOW THE HELL COULD LG POLAND POST AN AD TOUTING IT’S CELL PHONE AS AN UPSKIRT DEVICE? So sometimes people in advertising make some bad calls.  But this kind of takes it to a totally new level.  Someone working for LG Poland put together an ad touting how good their new phone is to take […] More

submitted by



To Become Spiderman, 3 Bolivian Brothers Have Black Widow Bite Them

3 BOLIVIAN BROTHERS THOUGHT A BLACK WIDOW BITE WOULD TURN THEM INTO SPIDERMAN So I vaguely remember being a kid and seeing anxious adults looking on.  Some adults were so afraid of imaginations, we couldn’t play make believe in front of them.  Too dangerous!  And while I don’t recall what the game was, it was […] More

submitted by


Florida Home Doormat Says Get a Warrant, Police Oblige

DRUG DEALERS PUT DOORMAT THAT SAYS, COME BACK WITH A WARRANT, POLICE OBLIGE So Florida continues to be the funniest news generator anywhere.  Seriously.  This time, it comes from Flagler County.  The Sheriff’s Office there received some very helpful advice from a local house.  Sure, police get tips all the time.  They help quite a […] More

submitted by


NC Supreme Court Finally Says Middle Finger Not Probable Cause

MIDDLE FINGER TO A NC TROOPER TAKES 3 YEARS, SUPREME COURT TO RESOLVE So I really wish this surprised me.  But… no.  So I do understand policing is hard work.  It’s dangerous.  Many people automatically don’t like you.  I’ve certainly felt that way sometimes. And I have a lot of friends who are or were […] More

submitted by


Robbery Case Solved by 6-Year-Old Magnet Fishing, Sunken Lake Safe

LITTLE BOY MAGNET FISHING HAULS IN SUNKEN SAFE FROM COLD CASE ROBBERY So sometimes police need a little help solving their cases.  But as we all know, a lot of cases never close.  And when it comes to robberies, even if they catch the thieves, the items they stole disappear forever.  But not this time!  […] More

submitted by


Freaky! New Lickable Device Lets You Taste Any Flavor

JAPANESE INVENTOR CREATES LICKABLE DEVICE THAT DELIVERS VIRTUALLY ANY FLAVOR So technology continues to surprise!  I remember seeing Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and that movie delivered some serious fantasy for adults and children alike.  But one particular item in that film that still amazed is the everlasting gobstopper.  Well, and maybe the lickable […] More

submitted by


Crazy! Science Proves Penguin Poo is Chock Full of Laughing Gas

NO, REALLY, PENGUIN POO EMITS A SHIT LOAD OF LAUGHING GAS! Sigh.  penguin poo?  So penguins make me laugh.  They’re funny!  If you don’t think so, you haven’t seen them in action.  They are full of antics.  They wobble around on land and are ridiculously cute.  But as clumsy as they are on land, they […] More

submitted by


Livestream This Year’s Summer Solstice At the Ancient Stonehenge

YOU CAN LIVESTREAM THIS YEAR’S SUMMER SOLSTICE IN ENGLAND FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD Summer Solstice is right around the corner.  Wait, what?  You don’t know what that is?  It’s the longest day of the year.  In other words, the sun rises at the earliest time, and sets at the latest.  It’s the opposite of […] More

submitted by


Florida Official Removed For Refusing to Censor Coronavirus Numbers

FLORIDA’S CORONAVIRUS DASHBOARD MANAGER FIRED FOR REFUSING TO CENSOR OUTBREAK NUMBERS So color me surprised.  Not.  A Florida official just lost their job.  Why?  Because they refused to censor the real numbers of people infected with Covid-19.  Really.  The fired official was Rebekah Jones.  She was the data scientist who managed the virtual, public “dashboard” […] More

submitted by


Man Knocked Up Step-Daughter, 14, When Partner Went to Hospital

PIECE OF HUMAN TRASH KNOCKED UP 14-YEAR-OLD STEP-DAUGHTER WHEN PARTNER TOOK THEIR SICK BABY TO HOSPITAL So human trash exists everywhere.  This time, it’s in Leicester, England.  A woman took her sick baby to the hospital for treatment.  But while she was there with the sick baby, something horrible happened.  Her partner and the father […] More

submitted by


Cruise Ghost Ship Horror, Infested With Cannibal Rats

MYSTERY, AS RUSSIAN CRUISE SHIP FILLED WITH CANNIBAL RATS MAY STILL BE OUT THERE So here’s some more cruise ship news in the era of Coronavirus.  No, it didn’t happen recently.  But that’s just part of the story.  The cruise ship had the name MV Lyubov Orlova.  So if that sounds Russian, that’s because it […] More

submitted by


8-Week-Old Baby Lula Watches Strongman Vids, Stands

LULA IS A POWER CHILD, WATCHES STRONGMAN VIDS ON YOUTUBE AT 8 WEEKS, STANDS FOR FIRST TIME! So media is a powerful thing.  This proves it!  Sure, we’re all fully immersed in propaganda these days.  How else can you explain how reality doesn’t seem to have a wide audience?  And media simply doesn’t help all […] More

submitted by


Blow-Up Dolls Enforce Social Distancing in South Carolina Restaurant

REOPENED RESTAURANT, OPEN HEARTH, USES BLOW UP DOLLS TO ENFORCE SOCIAL DISTANCING So I’ve heard about all sorts of strange things when it comes to enforcement.  Weapons, communications, tools, barriers, sonic devices, barf devices, you name it.  But blow up dolls?  Nah, they have nothing to do with enforcement.  Till, now, anyways.  A restaurant in […] More

submitted by


Apple to Begin Reopening Stores in US, Canada at Last

AFTER 2 MONTHS, APPLE FINALLY REOPENING SOME STORES IN US AND CANADA So I’m actually surprised it took this long.  Reopening.  Apple certainly isn’t what I would call a necessary thing to have open, like a supermarket or health clinic.  But I’ve remained intensely surprised at how the stores have simply been totally… closed.  Like, […] More

submitted by


Brian May, Aging Queen Rock Star, Tears Ass While Gardening

QUEEN ROCK STAR GUITARIST BRIAN MAY TEARS HIS OWN ASS JUST BY GARDENING So I like the band, Queen.  They rocked and clearly still do.  But aging ain’t easy on anybody, which I am slowly learning myself.  But this wasn’t one of the things I thought I had to worry myself with.  Tearing my ass.  […] More

submitted by


What, Coronavirus Can Cause Psychosis, Too? What’s Next?

SO THANKS TO CORONAVIRUS, PSYCHOSIS IS ALSO ON THE RISE, BUT DON’T STRESS TOO MUCH ABOUT IT So I’m at a loss to figure out how to understand what this really means.  Coronavirus, if nothing else, has caused a degree of confusion that would stagger a bronze statue.  And no, I’m not referring to the […] More

submitted by


Young Jogger Gets Collapsed Lung from Wearing Coronavirus Mask

YOUNG JOGGER RESPONSIBLY WEARS MASK, SUFFER COLLAPSED LUNG AFTER 2.5 MILES Jeez, a collapsed lung?  So this lockdown is just rough.  And social distancing?  It’s mostly challenging because of all the assholes who refuse to take it seriously.  But we all still need to exercise, especially outside.  This is wearing on everybody.  So what’s the […] More

submitted by


Clever Boston Cop Plays Mating Call to Lure Escaped Peacock

CLEVER BOSTON COP USED MATING CALL TO LURE ESCAPED PEACOCK BACK INTO PROTECTIVE CUSTODY A mating call in Boston?  So this kind of makes me miss Boston.  But with the lockdown, I’m sure people living in Boston also miss Boston these days.  Shoot, I miss just walking down the sidewalk without the extra stress.  But […] More

submitted by


Perfect, Campy Space Opera Flash Gordon Releasing in 4K Resolution

PERFECT CAMPY SPACE OPERA, FLASH GORDON, SOON COMING IN FULL 4K So one of the greatest movies of all time is about to come out, again.  And we’re talking about Flash Gordon, of course.  If you’re under anything close to a ripe age, you may have no idea about this movie.  But there’s no excuse now.  […] More

submitted by


Louisiana Police Hunting Aggressive Chicken, But is On the Lamb

AGGRESSIVE CHICKEN TERRORIZES LOUISIANA BANK CUSTOMERS, BUT IT’S ON THE LAMB So the pandemic situation is hard on all of our public service people on the front line.  I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be a nurse, fireman or a cop.  But it must be a surreal job as a cop, to have […] More

submitted by



Moon Mining? The Trump Administration is Negotiating That

THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION LOOKS TO CREATE ACCORD AGREEMENT FOR MOON MINING So nothing is sacred in our current political reality.  But by reality, I mean the un-reality of the Trump Administration.  With the Coronavirus Pandemic, it sure seems like we may be missing the bigger picture.  How?  Well, how about deregulating Clean Air?  Done.  Mercury […] More

submitted by


What?! Michael Jordan Could Have Played With Nowitzki?

MARK CUBAN TRIED TO CONVINCE MICHAEL JORDAN TO SIGN WITH MAVERICKS AT LAST MINUTE So we likely won’t ever hear enough about this.  And not in any real way from Michael Jordan directly.  But we’re now hearing that Mark Cuban tried an 11th hour push to sign Michael Jordan to the Dallas Mavericks when he […] More

submitted by


Asshat Republican Mitch Daniels Tries to Shield Right From Coronavirus Criticism

ASSHAT, REPUBLICAN, MITCH DANIELS WANTS TO AVOID ANY PARTY ACCOUNTABILITY AFTER CORONAVIRUS So it’s election season, 2020.  But it’s also a pandemic year, the first in over a Century.  All Americans are in various degrees of Lockdown.  We’re upset, anxious, furious and frustrated.  But only those sipping on rightwing snake oil are avoiding the biggest […] More

submitted by


These T1 Smart Glasses Will Show Authorities if You Have a Fever

NEW T1 SMART GLASSES WILL SHOW WEARER IF YOU, OR ANYONE AT ALL, HAS A FEVER So we thought things were already crazy with all this Coronavirus crap.  You know, how the weird, dark and scary future had already arrived?  Well, here’s some more to be aware of.  There are T1 smart glasses that already […] More

submitted by


Murder Hornets in the US, Killing Bees, Maybe People

NOW THE UNITED STATES HAS MURDER HORNETS THAT MURDER BEES AND CAN KILL PEOPLE So much for any good news during the Coronavirus Pandemic.  Now, once we finally get outside again, we have something else to worry about.  And yes, it’s a new invasive species.  It has a terrible name and a truly frightening size.  […] More

submitted by


Pandemic Lockdown Kills Sex Drive, Condom Sales Also Down

WORLD SEX DRIVE IS DOWN FROM CORONAVIRUS LOCKDOWN DEPRESSION, NO ONE BUYING CONDOMS So it’s hard to feel up with this Coronavirus pandemic lockdown business.  People are afraid, depressed and anxious.  All of that is more than enough to kill people’s sex drives.  And, well, here we are.  Just a few weeks ago, people joked […] More

submitted by


Phoebe Waller-Bridge Enjoys Lockdown With Wall of Plaster Penises

I’LL SEE YOU AND RAISE AGAIN, PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGE SURVIVES LOCKDOWN WITH WALL OF PLASTER PENISES Plaster penises?  So this lockdown situation is hard on everybody, and I do mean hard.  Some of us are barely coping.  But we try to make do with what we can.  Sometimes, we have to make a seriously conscious effort […] More

submitted by


Lockdown Murder Horror, Police Find Man Dismembering Wife

LOCKDOWN MURDER LEAVES VICTIM’S FAMILY DEVASTATED, POLICE FIND HUSBAND DISMEMBERING HER BODY So the lockdown isn’t stopping murder, no sirree.  In fact, domestic abuse problems are only worse, as you can imagine.  But pretty much everyone is getting cabin fever these days.  And cabin fever can make people do terrible things to themselves and especially […] More

submitted by


Lockdown With No Pants, ABC News Reporter Flashes Viewers

ABC NEWS REPORTER REPORTS FROM HOME, FORGETS TO WEAR PANTS FOR TV SEGMENT So I don’t know if we’ve all been there.  Well, we ARE all there, right no.  If we’re lucky, we’re working from home during this epic Coronavirus lockdown.  Sure, it is full of challenges.  Video meetings, Zoom bombs, family distractions and, of […] More

submitted by


Owner of One Fatte’s Pizza Robs Another at Gunpoint

WHY DID THE OWNER OF ONE FATTE’S PIZZA ROB ANOTHER LOCATION, AT GUNPOINT? So I’ve never heard of Fatte’s Pizza before in my life.  But now, I’ll clearly never forget it.  Sure, I know all about New York pizza, and thus I’m an expert.  Well, on Neapolitan, anyway.  But California pizza?  Sure, I know it […] More

submitted by


Bowling Green, Kentucky Mayor Finds Woman Living in His Cellar?

FORMER COP, CURRENT MAYOR  OF BOWLING GREEN, KENTUCKY FINDS WOMAN LIVING IN HIS CELLAR There’s so much crazy news out there these days.  And now, we’ve go a kooky one involving the Kentucky mayor of Bowling Green, Bruce Wilkerson.  First off, Wilkerson looks like an aging gay porn star.  I mean, really.  But anyway, the […] More

submitted by


Acapulco Waters Light Up for First Time in 60 Years

ACAPULCO BEACH SEES GLOWING BIOLUMINESCENT WATERS FOR FIRST TIME IN 6 DECADES So I’m jonesing something fierce for some nice beach time.  Like everyone else, I’m in Coronavirus lockdown.  So no, I don’t live in Georgia.  But seeing these pictures just makes me hope all the more that we can go to the beach, pretty […] More

submitted by



Hero Volunteers Live 28 Days in Factory to Make PPE Supplies

HERO VOLUNTEERS WORK 12-HOUR SHIFTS, LIVE IN FACTORY FOR 28 DAYS TO FIGHT CORONAVIRUS So I wish we hear about more volunteer heroes like these people in Pennsylvania.  43 people made the choice to live and work in a factory for 28 days straight to produce tens of millions of pounds of the raw materials […] More

submitted by


Breast Implants Save Woman’s Life From Bullet Aimed at Heart

BREAST IMPLANTS, YES, FAKE BOOBS, SAVE WOMAN FROM BULLET TO THE HEART So I’ve never been much of a fan of breast implants, myself.  There’s something about fake boobs that just doesn’t do it for me.  Call me old fashioned.  But they give me the heebie jeebies.  And yet now I may have a sudden […] More

submitted by


Whisky is The Real Holy Water, According to Pope Francis

POPE FRANCIS RECEIVES GIFT OF SINGLE MALT WHISKY, SAYS “THIS IS THE REAL HOLY WATER” So I kind of like Pope Francis.  I mean, it’s hard not to, considering what we’ve had the last several decades.  And Ratzinger?  Don’t even get me started.  But Pope Francis seems to be way, way, more modern than anyone […] More

submitted by


Actor Brian Dennehy Passes Away at 81, Already Missed by Costars

BRIAN DENNEHY PASSES AWAY AT THE AGE OF 81, LEAVING BEHIND WIFE, 5 CHILDREN Well, dang.  I really liked Brian Dennehy.  I’m in my 40’s.  So the first movie I ever saw him in was Rambo: First Blood.  Sure, he was pretty much the bad guy who represented a bunch of awkward things which now […] More

submitted by


Flies Humping for 41 Million Years in Pornographic Amber

HUMPING FLIES ENDED IN STYLE 41 MILLION YEARS AGO IN AMBER So we all want to be immortalized.  Somehow.  But I’m not sure this is what any of us should be aiming for?  I mean, it’s cool.  And pretty unique.  But if I’m ever caught in flagrante, I’d rather be alive.  Shoot, I’d be happy […] More

submitted by


Oops, Fighter Jet Passenger Ejected by Accident in France

DEFENSE CONTRACTOR ACCIDENTALLY SELF EJECTED FROM FIGHTER JET IN FRANCE So I’m not sure how I missed this little nugget when it happened.  Maybe it had something to do with all the Coronavirus coverage?  But we need these little silly stories, especially when they are not bad news.  Just… silly news.  But keep this in […] More

submitted by


Trump Administration Wants to Mine Uranium Near Grand Canyon, End Ban

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION WANTS TO MINE FOR URANIUM AT THE GRAND CANYON DURING PANDEMIC So you may have heard.  Well, maybe not.  But Germany is making climate change, and how they produce clean energy, a top priority.  So why?  Because of the Coronavirus pandemic.  But why?  Because this pandemic is giving anyone with an ounce of […] More

submitted by


Play the NASA Video Game for You to Save Coral Reefs!

NASA MADE A VIDEO GAME FOR YOU TO PLAY THAT WILL HELP SAVE THE WORLD’S CORAL REEFS NASA may not have the best federal leadership these days.  But they’re still doing some good and important work.  Sure, we’re gonna go to the moon again.  Supposedly.  But we’ve got lots of work to do right here […] More

submitted by



Val Kilmer Has New Memoir, Says No Girlfriend For 20 Years!

UNBELIEVABLE, NO GIRLFRIEND FOR 20 YEARS! SAYS VAL KILMER IN NEW MEMOIR So I love me some Val Kilmer.  He’s one of those great stars who has done some incredibly varied work.  The first thing I ever saw him in was the 80’s classic, Real Genius.  If you don’t know it, check it out.  It’s […] More

submitted by


Best Coronavirus Lockdown Online Workout Might Be Conbody

GETTING DOUGHY IN THE CORONAVIRUS LOCKDOWN?  MIGHT BE TIME TO TRY CONBODY Hmmm.  Conbody.  So I don’t know about you.  But I’m feeling just a bit doughy lately.  Sure, I haven’t been too diligent with my workout regimen during this epic, seemingly endless Coronavirus lockdown.  But I can’t complain too much.  I’m still working, if […] More

submitted by


No Sex For Woman With Constant Arousal From Rare Condition

RARE CONDITION LEAVES WOMAN WITH AROUSAL ALL THE TIME, BUT CAN’T HAVE SEX So I’m not sure what to make of this story.  Personally, I mean.  It just seems unimaginable.  I mean, the idea of being turned on all the time seems a nice fantasy.  But then there’s the reality of life.  You just can’t […] More

submitted by


Asa Akira, Porn Queen, Donates PornHub $$$ to NYC Hospitals

ASA AKIRA SHOWS HER BIG HEART, WILL DONATE PORNHUB $$$ TO NYC HOSPITALS TO FIGHT CORONAVIRUS So I’ve heard of Asa Akira.  And no, it’s nothing like that.  Sure, she’s one of the reigning Queens of Porn.  After all, she has starred in over 500 porn movies.  That’s, um, a lot.  Um, of activity.  So […] More

submitted by


Columbia Tells Citizens to Wank During Pandemic Lockdown

GOVERNMENT OF COLUMBIA TELLS CITIZENS TO STAY HOME AND WANK, OR MASTURBATE FOR SQUARES Ah, for some honesty.  What I’d give these days for some honesty.  Well, sure, we have some honesty here in the United States.  But that’s like saying you’ve got water in muddy water.  And here?  We’ve got so much mud in […] More

submitted by


After Lockdown, Visit the Shipwreck Capital of Canada, Lake Huron

STUCK IN CORONAVIRUS LOCKDOWN?  MAKE PLANS TO VISIT CANADA’S SHIPWRECK CAPITAL THIS SUMMER So I love the water.  And right now, with the Coronavirus lockdown in effect, I love it even more.  But I can’t go out and swim, or travel somewhere new to have some fun exploration, either.  But I can certainly look online […] More

submitted by


Our Poo Will Measure True Coronavirus Impact Reality With RNA

CRAPPY WORLD, OUR POO WILL TELL US HOW BAD THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC REALLY IS So after all is said and done, how big will this Coronavirus outbreak, pandemic, social upheaval catalyst be?  Well, for now, it’s hard to say.  So far, we’ve been looking at infection rates, recoveries, and deaths, of course.  But those numbers […] More

submitted by


Dyson Vacuum Inventor Designs Ventilator in 10 Days, Will Produce 15,000

DYSON VACUUM INVENTOR DESIGNS CORONAVIRUS VENTILATOR IN 10 DAYS, WILL MAKE 15,000 So have you heard of James Dyson?  He’s now a billionaire.  But he wasn’t always one.  He founded the Dyson company and has invented a number of amazing products.  But most people know about the seriously powerful and pretty pricey Dyson vacuums.  They […] More

submitted by


Villagers in India Forced Into Trees for Coronavirus Isolation

7 VILLAGERS RETURN HOME IN INDIA, FORCED INTO SELF-ISOLATION UP IN TREES FOR TWO WEEKS! So we thought we were having a hard time with Coronavirus in the West!  Well, because we are.  No one, pun intended, is immune.  But how this breaks down in different countries will continue to shock us.  This is certainly […] More

submitted by


Coronavirus Closes Dutch Museum, Thieves Steal Van Gogh Painting

AS CORONAVIRUS SHUTS DOWN THE WORLD, THIEVES STEAL VAN GOGH FROM DUTCH MUSEUM So I suppose we can expect a bit more of this.  The Coronavirus has changed the world, almost overnight.  Everything is closed, everywhere.  Schools, restaurants, businesses, museums…. But for one Dutch museum, the closure left it vulnerable.  So vulnerable, in fact, that […] More

submitted by


British Couple Murders Au Pair, Then Have Sex, Barbecue Body

CRAZY BRITISH COUPLE HIRE  AU PAIR, THEN IMPRISON, STARVE, TORTURE, MURDER POOR FRENCH GIRL So sometimes, some murder stories just seem all the more horrible.  This is clearly one of those murders.  The victim was a 21-year-old au pair, Sophie Lionnet.  Her murderers?  Sabrina Kouider and her lover, Oissem Medouni.  Sophie Lionnet was just 20 […] More

submitted by


Functional Crisis Manager, Yes, But Andrew Cuomo Still an Asshole

DESPITE CORONAVIRUS CRISIS MANAGEMENT, ANDREW CUOMO STILL DEFINITELY AN ASSHOLE So I keep hearing about how impressed everyone is with New York Governor Andrew Cuomo.  Ok, sure, he’s using a voice of reason as a crisis manager for his state.  And yes, New York will likely have the most Coronavirus deaths in America.  By far.  […] More

submitted by



Hot Russian Banker Survives Helicopter Crash, Arctic Cold

MIRACLE AS HOT RUSSIAN BANKER SURVIVES HELICOPTER CRASH IN REMOTE, ARCTIC COLD So here’s some sort of good news.  Well, it was good for the hot Russian banker, Alexandra Bogomolova.  Well, mostly.  Alexandra was on her way in a helicopter to (literally) one of the most remote weather stations in the world when the chopper […] More

submitted by


Portland Strippers Laid Off, Now Delivering Boober Eats

STRIP CLUB FORCED TO CLOSE UNDER ISOLATION ORDER, STRIPPERS DELIVER FOOD GOODIES So now strippers make house calls?  What a world.  Well, maybe just a tease, really.  But with all the Coronavirus lockdowns everywhere, Portland was and is no exception.  There was this strip club, see, and its name was (is) the Lucky Devil Lounge.  […] More

submitted by


Republican Preacher Looking for Love, His Awesome Republican Goddess

CONSERVATIVE OLDER PREACHER LOOKING FOR LOVE, HIS AWESOME REPUBLICAN GODDESS So looking for love can be an endlessly challenging task.  But finding it?  That can be even more so.  And for one Republican preacher, he’s going the distance to find miss perfect.  But by miss perfect, he means an Awesome Republican Goddess.  Oh, yes.  Yes!  […] More

submitted by


Sex Doc Specialist Talks About How to Have Multiple Orgasms

SEX DOC TELLS INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS, YES, MULTIPLE ORGASMS ARE REAL, HERE’S WHAT TO DO So much for not feeling like an underachiever.  But if  you need this advice, well, try not to feel that way.  And that goes for both the giver and the getter.  It takes two to tango.  But this is no tango.  […] More

submitted by


Walking Dead Zombie Actor Jailed for Biting Domestic Fan

BRAINDEAD WALKING DEAD ZOMBIE ACTOR JAILED FOR BITING FAN GIRLFRIEND Wow.  So much to say, too much irony in my diet.  So.  You may be aware that zombies have dominated TV now for some time.  We’ve gotten so used to violence that undead violence is now just an exploration art form.  And yet, somehow, Zombies […] More

submitted by


Stuck at Home? Comfort Baileys Slow Cooker Recipe the Fix Mix

MAKE SOCIALLY ISOLATED SELF SOME COMFORT FOOD WITH BAILEYS MALTESERS FUDGE So you’re stuck at home?  Most likely, you are.  Maybe you’re working remotely, if you’re lucky.  But even if you’re not, we all need comfort food in these crazy Corona Virus pandemic days.  And what could be better than getting out your slow cooker […] More

submitted by


Thrift Store Score! Salvador Dalí Wood Engraving Print Found

DREAM SCORE FIND, SALVADORE DALI WOOD ENGRAVING PRINT IN NORTH CAROLINA THRIFT STORE So you must know who Salvador Dalí is, right?  The Spanish surrealist painter?  The guy with the crazy, iconic mustache?  Yeah, you know Salvador Dalí.  But a thrift store owner did NOT know the famous artist’s work, that’s for sure.  We know […] More

submitted by


The New and Current Era of Social Distancing, Isolation

THE NEW ERA OF ISOLATION AND SOCIAL DISTANCING WILL CHANGE HOW WE THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING So much has changed, and is changing, in this sudden new era of pandemic across the world.  Regardless of what you think about how well your government responded in the last two weeks, they are all responding now, and how.  […] More

submitted by



Volunteer Gives Hospital 3D Printed Valve Part for Ventilator, Get Sued

VOLUNTEER 3D PRINTS $11,000 VENTILATOR VALVE REPLACEMENT PART FOR $1 So we’ve all heard about how much of a lockdown is happening in Italy.  The Coronavirus outbreak there has hit hard.  Hospitals have been overwhelmed.  Doctors have even had to choose who to treat, doing domestic triage.  But there like pretty much everywhere, Hospitals have […] More

submitted by


Oil Person RuPaul Makes Tons of Fracking Money on Wyoming Ranch

POPULAR DRAG QUEEN ICON RUPAUL TURNS OUT TO BE AN OIL PERSON MAKING MONEY ON FRACKING So it sucks to hear bad news about people that you thought were cool.  And now we have some more of that, big time.  But big time represents both the extreme height of the celebrity RuPaul as well as […] More

submitted by