tecnhog

Active 10 months, 2 weeks ago

Noto, Japan, Spends $228 Grand on 43-Foot Long Pink Squid Statue

NOTO, JAPAN BLOWS $228 GRAND OF COVID RELIEF MONEY ON GIANT PINK SQUID STATUE So it sure does seem like a lot of local officials the world over like spending emergency Covid relief money on things they maybe shouldn’t.  Sure, in some parts of the world, Covid infections are dropping.  Yes, we have a lot […] More

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Proud Boys Canada Closes Up Shop After Terror Group Designation

PROUD BOYS CANADA QUICKLY CLOSES UP SHOP AFTER CANADA DESIGNATION AS VIOLENT TERRORISTS So I’m always amazed to keep hearing about our polite neighbors to the North, aka Canada, and how they have a bunch of folks up there who identify with the whole MAGA, racist, Trump political identity.  Sure, there are a lot of […] More

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Minorities Can Use a Siri App, I’m Getting Pulled Over, Records Video

NEW SIRI APP MAY OFFER SOME PEACE OF MIND FOR MINORITIES, EVERYONE, WHEN POLICE PULL THEM OVER So how many times can you remember something bad happening to someone who’s a minority when police pull them over?  Just a couple weeks ago, a minority man and member of the military suffered horrendous treatment from two […] More

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Woman Who “Found” Lady Gaga’s Dogs Now Under Arrest

WOMAN WHO TRIED TO CLAIM $500,000 FOR “FINDING” LADY GAGA’S DOGS UNDER ARREST So you have to remember hearing about when Lady Gaga’s dogs hit the news.  You know, when some awful folks shot her dog walker, seriously, and stole 2 of her 3 dogs?  Scary stuff, especially on video.  Lady Gaga, of course, was […] More

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Some Freak in Virginia Shaving Other People’s Pet Cats

FREAK IN SMALL VIRGINIA TOWN IS CATCHING AND SHAVING OTHER PEOPLE’S PET CATS So Virginia is for Lovers.  Well, that’s what the bumper sticker says, anyway.  I’ve been thru there a few times in the past, and nothing notable happened for me there.  Anyway, there’s something weird going on down there, in the Shenandoah Valley.  […] More

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Prominent Cop Trainer Said the Best Sex After Killing Someone

TOP COP TRAINER TELLS COPS THEY’LL HAVE THE BEST SEX AFTER KILLING SOMEONE AS A “PERK” So a lot of people reading this (in the US, at least) will fall into one of two categories.  Black Lives Matter, or Blue Lives Matter.  But it seems strange to me that there is any distinction.  Why can’t […] More

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Grizzly Bear Kills Professional Backcountry Guide in Yellowstone

GRIZZLY BEAR ATTACKS AND KILLS BACKCOUNTRY GUIDE IN YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK So when I was younger, I wanted to be a park ranger for oh, quite a while actually.  The idea was, and is, still kind of perfect.  Except for paying the bills, of course.  But spending your time in the most beautiful places in […] More

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America’s Biggest Drug Dealer Could Get Off For Opioid Deaths

DESPITE HUGE OPIOID DEATHS, AMERICA’S BIGGEST DRIG DEALER MAY GET OFF So who is America’s biggest drug dealer?  Well, it’s not who you think.  Well, probably.  But it’s easy to argue that it’s the Sackler family.  They own Purdue Pharma, which you may have heard of.  They made almost 11 billion dollars selling OxyContin.  Yes, […] More

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So Why Can’t America Get Some of That Gun Regulation?

NO MATTER HOW MANY SHOOTINGS WE HAVE IN AMERICA, WE CAN’T GET ANY GUN REGULATION AT ALL So we’ve been hearing about a LOT of gun violence in the news in recent weeks.  Mass shootings, isolated shootings, moments of passion shootings and, of course, suicides.  But suicides, of course don’t get too much coverage unless […] More

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Canadian Woman Couldn’t Get Treatment Till Her Uterus Dropped Out

CANADIAN WOMAN LEFT IN DANGER, TOLD NO TREATMENT UNLESS HER UTERUS DROPPED ALL THE WAY OUT So I’m all for a national healthcare system in the United States.  Sure, we already have one, and it’s called Medicare.  But until everyone can get that, the US doesn’t have a universal system.  And while Medicare works amazingly […] More

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Michigan Cops Bust Drug Dealer Who Used Fake ID Of Another Suspect

DRUG DEALER GIVES MICHIGAN COPS FAKE ID, FAKE ID ALSO HAD OUTSTANDING WARRANTS So I don’t really know about all the old sayings about how cops only catch stupid criminals.  But man, sometimes it really seems like stupid is as stupid does all the way to jail.  But I do like the saying, if you […] More

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Frat House Brothers Pay Off Frat Mother Cook’s Mortgage in Retirement

FIJI FRAT LSU GRADS TOTALLY PAY OFF FRAT MOTHER COOK’S MORTGAGE YEARS LATER So I don’t know about you, but I need a feel good story right about now.  And somehow, this feel good story involves a fraternity?  In the United States?  Who woulda thunk it?  The fraternity is the Phi Gamma Deltas, aka Fiji, […] More

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Humble One Electric Car First At Last With Off-Grid Charging

FINALLY SOMEONE MAKES AN ELECTRIC CAR THAT CAN CHARGE ITSELF, THE HUMBLE ONE So I’ve been a fan of the idea of the Tesla for years now.  In fact, I still can’t believe how many years it’s been since Tesla was a pipe dream as competition to the major, gas auto makers.  But it’s already […] More

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Haunted, Gilchrist County Jail For Sale in Florida, Banging Chains!

GILCHRIST COUNTY JAIL FOR SALE IN FLORIDA, BUT IT’S HAUNTED OUT THE DOOR So I just can’t convince my wife to see the movie Poltergeist, no matter what I say or do.  And simply forget about the Exorcist.  No way is she watching that one, like ever.  But she does, sort of, enjoy visiting places […] More

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Smugglers Caught Trying to Sneak Gold Under Their Toupées

SMUGGLERS CAUGHT HIDING LOTS OF GOLD UNDER THEIR TOUPÉES, BALD CRIMINALS Ah, smugglers. So smuggling has been going on a long, long time.  I’m not sure if it’s actually the world’s oldest profession or not.  If you don’t know what that means, think about who people go to “see” in red light districts.  But regardless, […] More

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Cincinnati Cops, Animal Control Trying to Corral Loose Monkeys

ANIMAL CONTROL AND CINCINNATI COPS SET TO CAPTURE TROOP OF LOOSE MONKEYS So ok, loose monkeys could possibly be misunderstood.  I mean, loose, like socially.  But that’s not the case.  This isn’t a euphemism or a pun, unfortunately.  I continue to not understand, at all, why it is that people keep exotic pets.  I mean, […] More

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Not Dead From Trampling, Capitol Rioter Died of Meth Overdose

NOT DEAD FROM TRAMPLING, CAPITOL RIOTER ACTUALLY DIED FROM METH OVERDOSE So we keep hearing more and more news about the Capitol riots, inevitably with waaaaaay  more to come.  But most of that news is and will continue to be about prosecutions, investigations, and flipping under arrest rioters for testimony.  But this one actually surprises […] More

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Michael Jordan Not the Champion Selling Real Estate

BASKETBALL’S GOAT CHAMPION MICHAEL JORDAN HAS MAJOR REAL ESTATE PROBLEMS So everybody knows who Michael Jordan is.  In the world, there was no more famous black athlete, except maybe Pele and Muhammed Ali.  Why?  Because they were consummate champions.  Dominant.  Everybody knew, because it was obvious.  But they can’t be champions at everything.  Good, maybe […] More

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Alabama Refuses to Lift Yoga in Schools Ban, Because Hinduism

ALABAMA UPHOLDS 30 YEAR BAN ON YOGA, AS IT TURNS KIDS TO HINDUISM So do you remember that time you were doing yoga, and suddenly wanted to convert to Hinduism?  You know, when you weren’t so distracted by how one side of your body was stronger than the other?  When you managed not to lose […] More

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Japan Sees Earliest Cherry Blossoms in Over 1,200 Years, Global Warming

JAPAN’S WORLD FAMOUS CHERRY BLOSSOMS BLOOM EARLY, EARLIEST IN 1,200 YEARS So every time I see cherry blossoms, I think of the leader from the movie, The Last Samurai, realizing they are all perfect seconds before death.  Now that you can call the ultimate final moment of Zen.  But there’s a reason people love cherry […] More

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Hooligan Ravens Steal Food in Alaska Costco Parking Lot

ALASKA COSTCO SHOPPERS SUFFER CHRONIC TAG TEAM OF HOOLIGAN RAVENS WHO STEAL FOOD Ravens are some seriously smart birds.  Like, talk to wolves smart, and lead them to injured or old prey.  Why would they do that?  Because they know there will be scraps when the wolves are done.  But they have all sorts of […] More

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Kentucky Man Discovers Really Friendly Capuchin Monkey On Porch

FRIENDLY CAPUCHIN MONKEY SUDDENLY APPEARS ON KENTUCKY MAN’S PORCH So monkeys are pretty cool.  Except, well, when they’re not.  They can be violent and aggressive.  And totally acquisitive.  But they can also be really cute and friendly, especially capuchin monkeys.  But capuchin monkeys are not from Kentucky, and don’t live there outside of a sanctuary […] More

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Autism Awareness Day, in 2021 Pandemic Year of Universal Isolation

YEAR 2021 OF PANDEMIC, WITH UNIVERSAL ISOLATION, TODAY IS AUTISM AWARENESS DAY So today is Autism Awareness Day.  Many people are already somewhat familiar with Autism, or the spectrum.  But more and more people every day are discovering that Autism will forever change their lives.  Most parents of Autistic children realize that they have to […] More

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What’s Going On? Male Virginity Rates Soar Way Up

STRANGE! MALE VIRGINITY RATES RISE UP, BUT NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW WHY So virginity is a complicated situation.  Even after you’ve lost yours, it’s still a thing.  Well, not yours.  But you know what I’m talking about.  Men being virgins for too long used to be a total negative.  And women?  Well, depending where […] More

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Trump Only Gave Black Farmers 0.1% of Covid Farming Relief Money

TRUMP EVEN MORE RACIST THEN WE THOUGHT, AS BLACK FARMERS ONLY GOT 0.1% OF AID RELIEF MONEY So there sure seems to be an ugly trend after 4 years of the Trump presidency.  Racists have more than crawled out from under their dank rocks.  They are parading around, being racist, insisting that you are racist […] More

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Man Sells House, Won’t Leave, New Owners Pay Mortgage for 14 Months

COUPLE BUYS HOME, STILL CAN’T MOVE IN AFTER 14 MONTHS OF MORTGAGE PAYMENTS So exploring and navigating the house market can be fraught with all sorts of hurdles.  Banks can be a pain all around.  And don’t even get me started with inconsistent brokers, or finding out that structural lemons mean it can even rain […] More

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Cult City Tour Attendee Zaps Scientology Cams With Laser Under Arrest

MAN TAKING CULT CITY TOUR UNDER ARREST FOR USING LASER POINTER ON SCIENTOLOGY CAMERAS So first off, there’s a place you can take a tour with the title, Cult City Tour.  That’s pretty damn wild.  It’s in Clearwater, Florida.  I don’t know how many cults are local to the town.  But Scientology is on the […] More

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Google Earth Superfan Discovers Island That Looks Like a Penis

A GOOGLE EARTH SUPERFAN WAS PATROLLING THE WORLD, DISCOVERS PENIS ISLAND IN PACIFIC So first let’s start out with the fact that there are people out there in the category, Google Earth Superfan.  Sure, I’m all too familiar with Google Earth, with some serious memories of how fast it killed my phone battery when it […] More

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Amazing Discovery in Egypt, World’s Oldest Mass Production Brewery

WORLD’S OLDEST MASS PRODUCTION BREWERY FOUND IN EGYPT, AND WE’RE TALKING OOOOLD So every once in a while history reminds us that we don’t know all that much.  Or, at least, not as much as we think we do.  About ourselves, no less.  But when we discover new things, they can sometimes capture the imagination […] More

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NASA Mini Chopper Ingenuity Will Fly With a Piece of Wright Brothers Plane

MARS MINI CHOPPER INGENUITY WILL FLY WITH PIECE OF FIRST WRIGHT BROTHERS PLANE So as you know, there is a whole lot of attention on the planet Mars of late.  Including mine, that’s for sure.  Besides yet another rover, the current mission hardware includes a little, mini chopper.  As in, a little helicopter drone vehicle.  […] More

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Tik-Tok Makes Us All Revisit 1983 CIA Astral Projection Project

TIK-TOKK USERS REMIND US ALL ABOUT 1983 CIA ASTRAL PROJECTION PROJECT So here we have an intersection of old, weird history and new, social media making that a viral thing of the present.  The social media is Tik-Tok, which I’m not too familiar with, as I’m over the age of 35, or 25, or whatever.  […] More

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With Possible 2026 Opening, Voyager Station to Be First Space Hotel

VOYAGER STATION SET TO TAKE RESERVATIONS BY 2026, AS FIRST LUXURY SPACE HOTEL So I have fantasized about space since I first knew it existed.  So, like maybe the age of 4 or 5?  And movies just made the fantasy all the more amazing.  Being an astronaut, or even space explorer, totally eclipsed the desire […] More

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French Actress Hates Social Distancing, Strips in Protest At Awards Show

FRENCH ACTRESS STRIPS IN PROTEST AT MOST AUGUST FILM AWARDS CEREMONY So social distancing has been hard on us all.  But especially small businesses all over the world.  Well, except maybe New Zealand.  But not everyone seems to think that social distancing and staying Covid free is more important than having all businesses operate like […] More

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Shaquille O’Neal Talks Icy Hot Mishap, Balls On Fire

GOODNESS GRACIOUS, SHAQUILLE’S BALLS ON FIRE! BECAUSE ICY HOT WORKS ON EVERYTHING So I hate muscle soreness, especially when it’s on top of fatigue.  But now, I can barely sneeze without getting both, and fast.  So while that is an age joke, I’m not saying that a bad cold makes me need various ointments for […] More

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Racist Attacker, 39, Punches Asian Woman, 76, Who Takes Him Down

AFTER SUCKER PUNCH, 76-YEAR-OLD ASIAN WOMAN TAKES DOWN RACIST ATTACKER So I had been seeing headlines in a lot of news about the rise of violence against Asians in the United States.  And, to be sure, the shootings and killings in Georgia have gotten everyone’s attention.  As they should!  Yet here is another story of […] More

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Oklahoma Desperate for Tourist$, Offers $2.1 Million Bigfoot Bounty

BIGFOOT BOUNTY? YES, IT’S A THING IN OKLAHOMA, AND IT’S HUGE, $2.1 MILLION! So when tourism stops, local places like entire states suffer.  And the pandemic has killed most tourism, foreign and domestic.  So no, I’m pointedly ignoring those pesky kids in Florida doing Spring Break this year.  And Oklahoma is one of those states, […] More

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Fun, Electric Air Taxi On the Way in Germany, the Volocopter

WITH A FRESH INFUSION OF INVESTORS, THE VOLOCOPTER AIR TAXI IS ABOUT TO BE REAL So it’s been a tough year to geek out about almost anything.  But as people start getting vaccines, this pandemic just may mellow out into more of an annoyance than the anvil giving the world a constant migraine.  And this […] More

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Stinky Sneezing Boy’s Problem Caused By BB Pellet in His Head

TEXAS TEEN SUFFERED TEN YEARS OF SINUS MALADIES, ALL FROM A BB PELLET IN HIS HEAD So can you imagine being 15 years old, and every time you sneeze, a horrible smell hits everyone near you?  Talk about awkward.  But even more than that, the kid had suffered years of horrible congestion and other really […] More

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Feds Seize Frosted Flakes in Cincinnati, Because Frost Was Cocaine

FORGET WHEATIES, THESE FROSTED FLAKES HAVE A NICE, PRICEY, COCAINE COATING So I use the phrase at least several times of year.  What did you have on your Wheaties?  You know, when someone has too much energy, or seems to perform at a much higher than usual level.  To be fair, I’ll likely keep using […] More

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Scottish Prison Inmates Have a Favorite Alcoholic Drink, Buckie

CRAZY SWEET CAFFEINATED WINE THE FAVORITE DRINK OF SCOTTISH PRISON INMATES So I’ve never been to prison, thank God.  But I know that every single prison has its own little culture going on.  Well, several interactive cultures.  Prison guards, prisoners and management.  But beyond what I’ve seen on tv and movies, I don’t really know […] More

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Petaluma, California First US City to Ban New Gas Stations

PETALUMA, CALIFORNIA LIGHTS FIRE, ISSUES BAN ON ANY NEW GAS STATIONS So gasoline cars are not yet a thing of the past.  But we all know the time is coming, and soon.  I for one can’t yet imagine what it will be like to remember gas stations as things of the past!  Because they will […] More

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Sussex Man Hates Roommates So Much, Man Turns Himself In To Police

LOCKDOWN BLUES, AS SUSSEX MAN TURNS SELF IN TO POLICE TO ESCAPE ROOMMATES Living with people can be hard.  Family, friends, and roommates.  Sure, sometimes your roommates are your family or friends.  But if they’re bad roommates, they are bad roommates.  We all know how this works.  And we all have our own stories.  I […] More

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Parisian Parking Lots Turning Into Underground Mushroom Farms

THERE ARE NOW UNDERGROUND PARISIAN MUSHROOM FARMS, FORMERLY PARKING LOTS So I’ve read a lot of books, sci-fi books, about all sorts of things.  But I must say many of them imagined scenarios of how people have enough food to feed themselves.  Giant tanks farming shrimp, mushrooms farms of all varieties, vats growing meat and […] More

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Add Traffic Noise to the List of What Can Kill You

WHO KNEW? TRAFFIC NOISE CAN KILL YOU, AND FASTER THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED So I like peace and quiet, if not all the time.  But I remember in my earlier days when absolute silence felt deafening, oppressive.  Made it hard to sleep, even.  But I’ve never really been fond of traffic noise.  It’s there, it’s […] More

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Meghan and Harry Versus The Firm, As Royals Brace for Oprah

ROYALS BRACE FOR OPRAH INTERVIEW WITH HARRY AND MEGHAN, BUT WHY SO MUCH FUSS? So what’s the deal with Harry and Meghan, Meghan and Harry, being on Oprah?  And why does it seem to be such a big freaking deal?  Because I’m one of those colonials who doesn’t tend to give two shits, I mean […] More

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Britain Bans Champion Horse Trainer For Dead Horse Sit Pic

BRITAIN BANS CHAMPION HORSE TRAINER, WHO TOOK A CALL SITTING ON A DEAD HORSE So bad judgement seems to be another pandemic side effect.  Or, maybe it’s just a pandemic all on its own.  Because there seems to be more than enough to go around.  The latest example of this is in England.  And no, […] More

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Florida Sucks: Woman Faces More Than $100,00 Fines For Car Touching Lawn

FLORIDA HITS LOCAL WOMAN WITH OVER $100,000 IN FINES FOR CAR TOUCHING LAWN So Florida sucks.  I mean, really sucks.  Usually, it’s just a source for weird news, all the time.  Or stupid news.  This is definitely stupid news.  But it’s so stupid, it falls into the Florida sucks category.  A woman in Lantana, Florida […] More

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Rightwing Propaganda Does the Best on Facebook, Leftwing Shrugs

FACEBOOK IS NOW THE OFFICIAL MONEYMAKING DELIVERER OF PROPAGANDA TO THE RIGHTWING So we all know that Facebook has become a cesspool of, well, lies.  Mark Zuckerberg has made himself one lean (not really), mean (totally), marketing machine.  So sure, he stole the template from what is now modern media.  Give your audience what they […] More

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Wild Sheep Rescue, As Sheep Shears Off 78 Pounds of Wool

WILD SHEEP NEEDS RESCUE, AS SHEARS TAKE OFF 78 LBS OF MISERABLE WOOL COAT So wool is some great fiber, right?  It’s natural, from sheep.  You can wear it virtually anywhere.  Even better, it even keeps you warm if it gets wet.  I found that out while spelunking years ago, where you had to duck […] More

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Edinburgh Woman Bites Off Man’s Tongue in Brawl, Seagull Steals It

IN SORDID BRAWL, EDINBURGH WOMAN BITES OFF MAN’S TONGUE, SEAGULL PROMPTLY STEALS IT So where to begin?  Perhaps the cat has my tongue.  Nah, not even close.  But let’s begin with the brawl.  A massive, usually stupid fight with a bunch of people.  I’ve only ever been in one, sort of.  But they can be […] More

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Wretched Texas Energy Board Leaders Resigned, None Live in Texas!

TEXAS ENERGY BOARD LEADERS RESIGN IN DISGRACE, AND THEY DON’T EVEN LIVE IN STATE! So you may have heard a little bit about the fact that we all know that the Texas energy grid is a POS.  Like, to an epic degree.  What you may not realize is it’s an epic POS because it’s exactly […] More

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Mystery Solved: Dying Cop Says NYPD, FBI Killed Malcolm X

DYING COP WRITES LETTER, SAYING THE NYPD AND FBI HELPED TO KILL MALCOLM X So I remember when I had no idea who Malcolm X was.  Well, except for whatever references I saw about that angry black man from yesteryear.  It wasn’t until I saw Spike Lee’s film that I started to have a clue.  […] More

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Kazak Bodybuilder Has Sex Doll Wife, Wants More Variety

BROKEN HEART? OR BROKEN SEX DOLL? KAZAK BODYBUILDER LOOKS BEYOND So a Kazak bodybuilder walks into a bar, with his sex doll wife.  Normally, just saying a Kazak bodybuilder walks into a bar would tell you a bad joke was on the way.  And a sex doll wife?  Nah, too much.  Couldn’t be real, you’d […] More

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President of Indianapolis Museum of Art Resigns in Disgrace

WHY DID THE INDIANAPOLIS MUSEUM OF ART’S PRESIDENT RESIGN IN DISGRACE? So I’m not sure what is going on with people these days.  Sure, we had more than just a few days with Donald Trump as President of the United States.  And that has damaged not just our reputation, but the fabric of our culture […] More

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Schitt’s Creek Mansion Now On Sale for a Paltry $15 Million

THAT MANSION FROM THE 1ST EPISODE OF SCHITT’S CREEK IS ON SALE! JUST $15 MILLION So I’ve watched, like, maybe two episodes of Schitt’s Creek.  Surely you’ve heard of it?  It’s now won awards and has much more than its initial critical success because of the pandemic.  But my wife was all over it from […] More

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Insanely Large Catch! Fishermen Haul In 300 Pound Warsaw Grouper

INSANE MONSTER FISH CATCH, AS 2 FISHERMEN HAUL IN 300 POUND WARSAW GROUPER So I fished a little, here and there, growing up.  I know enough that I can put live shrimp on a hook as bait and not kill them.  I know I can’t fly fish, like ever.  And I know from my grandfather’s […] More

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Japan’s Liberal Democratic Party Includes Silent Women

LIBERAL DEMOCRATIC PARTY FINALLY ALLOWS WOMEN INTO MEETINGS, IF THEY REMAIN SILENT Well, this is a nasty surprise.  Women in Japan don’t seem to have quite the level of equality that they ought to.  You may have heard about Japan’s former Prime Minister and now also former head of the Tokyo Olympics organizing committee, Yoshiro […] More

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Don’t Rush to Judgement, But Rush Limbaugh is Dead

RUSH LIMBAUGH IS DEAD, AND BY MY JUDGEMENT, HE LEAVES AN UGLY LEGACY OF HATE Rush Limbaugh is dead. So this is a tough one to write about.  Because, well, of the saying.  If you can’t say anything nice about someone, don’t say anything at all?  But that just won’t suffice here.  We are, after […] More

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Joss Whedon Mess Messier, As David Boreanaz Supports Charisma Carpenter

DAVID BOREANAZ COMES OUT IN PUBLIC SUPPORT FOR CHARISMA CARPENTER AMID JOSS WHEDON ACCUSATIONS So what the hell is going on with all the recent accusations against Joss Whedon?  Because it’s becoming an industry mess, only to be messier.  So what’s going on?  Well, several female stars of Joss Whedon productions have accused Whedon of […] More

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Tennessee Considers Bill Letting Any Man Bar a Woman Getting Abortion

TENNESSEE REPUBLICANS INTRODUCE BILL LETTING ANY MAN STOP AN ABORTION So social conservatives continue to lower the bar on modernity, inclusion and basic civic decency.  The latest example comes from the state of Tennessee.  A brand new bill is on the table there and it is a doozy.  Yes, it’s anti-abortion.  But it’s got ideas […] More

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Boring Valentine’s Day? How About a Mask That Smells Like Vagina?

IS YOUR VALENTINE’S DAY BORING? GET SOME KINK, AND WEAR A FACE MASK THAT SMELLS LIKE A VAGINA! So it’s Valentine’s Day!  Yay!  Except, it’s a pandemic.  I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be young, dumb and full of come hither in these times.  No safe parties.  And definitely no safe hookups.  And […] More

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Retired WWE Wrestler, Tyler Reks, Transitions, Now Gabbi Tuft

TYLER REKS TRANSITIONS TO BEING FEMALE, NOW GABBI TUFT IN SURPRISE ANNOUNCEMENT So I’m not up to speed on gender identity in general.  I know it’s complicated.  I know there is a lot of controversy.  But quite frankly I don’t really have an opinion one way or the other, except to support people in pursuing […] More

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3 Cubans Find Rescue, After Surviving on Coconuts for 33 Days

3 CUBAN NATIONALS SURVIVE 33 DAYS ON TINY BAHAMAS ISALND ON NOTHING BUT COCONUTS So I’ve always wanted to visit Cuba.  But obviously, that would have been a lot more fun before the Revolution.  I was born a few decades too late to wallow in the tropical paradise, and its dated decadence.  But today Cuba […] More

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Porn Scandal, As Royal Navy Officer Shoots, Scores On Film

ROYAL NAVY LADY OFFICER SHOTS PORN FILMS ON BASE WITH NUCLEAR SUBS, BOMBS So, this scandal in the military takes us to England.  But it’s not about the usual sort of sordid stuff, or even the death of civilians.  This time, it’s porn!  No, not watching porn.  And no, not possession of illegal porn.  Shooting […] More

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Silence of the Lambs Buffalo Bill House Now a B&B Museum

SILENCE OF THE LAMBS SERIAL KILLER BUFFALO BILL HOUSE TO BE B&B, MUSEUM So I vaguely remember reading something about the fact that Buffalo Bill’s house from Silence of the Lambs was on the market.  I didn’t think anything of it.  I mean, it’s in Pittsburgh, after all.  While I’ve been there, and it’s a […] More

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George Clooney As Buck Rogers Pissing Some People Off

WHY IS GEORGE CLOONEY AS THE NEW BUCK ROGERS PISSING SOME PEOPLE OFF? So I actually just introduced my wife to Buck Rogers about a week ago.  No, we didn’t watch the whole series.  But the two-part pilot?  We were all over that.  My wife, appropriately, was all over that.  Aghast, amused and a lot […] More

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Hackers Hit Chinese Chastity Belt, Ransom Men’s Balls and Junk

HACKERS HACK CHASTITY BELTS IN CHINA, RANSOM BACK MEN’S BALLS FREEDOM So we all made the jokes, those of us who heard about modern chastity belts.  Well, not belts, exactly.  But balls and junk cages with locks?  Yes, that pretty much “covers” it.  And some of the current ones on the market are blue-tooth.  So […] More

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Peruvian Lawyer Caught Having Cowgirl On Zoom, During Virtual Hearing

PERUVIAN DEFENSE LAWYER DOES COWGIRL SEX ON CAMERA DURING PUBLIC ZOOM HEARING So the current times are fraught with new and surprising perils.  Business and educators, as well as media, have all been there with Zoom calls and meetings.  Zoom bombs, interlopers, porn videos have all been problems.  Well, and family members walking in as […] More

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Washington DC Now Offers Magic Mushroom Chocolate, The Polka Dot

MAGIC MUSHROOMS LEGAL IN DC? AND THERE’S A POLKA DOT MAGIC MUSHROOM BAR? So I’ve never actually enjoyed magic mushrooms, myself.  And by that, I mean I’ve never had them, or gotten high off of them.  If you don’t know what they are, they are “shrooms.”  They are psychedelics, meaning they alter your perception of […] More

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LAPD Arrest 6 For Changing Hollywood Sign to Hollyboob

LAPD NABS SIX FOR CHANGING HOLLYWOOD SIGN TO HOLLYBOOB IN EPIC MARKETING “PROTEST” GAG So this  is one of those times I’m happy to be writing about news illuminating the perfection of adolescent stupidity.  Sure, we had Trump for 4 years and that was… a lot.  But something seemed missing with all that racist, misogynistic […] More

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Japanese Woman Under Arrest, Mom’s Body In Freezer, Fearing Eviction

FEARING EVICTION, JAPANESE WOMAN HIDES MOM’S BODY IN FREEZER FOR TEN YEARS So housing hardship is nothing to take lightly.  Especially during a pandemic, which is why we supposedly have policy in place in the US preventing evictions.  We’ll see how that goes.  But when people are afraid of losing their residence, they can get […] More

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Cincinnati Cops Chase Salt Truck, Salt Truck Sprays Cop Cars With Salt

CINCINNATI SALT TRUCK DRIVER SPRAYS LOCAL COPS WITH SALT, FLEES, KEEPS SALTING COPS So this, somehow, is yet another story that I’ve never come across involving a police chase.  As you likely may have heard, there was a massive snow storm covering much of the United States in the last few days.  And Cincinnati, Ohio, […] More

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Paris Cops Bust Warehouse Orgy Of Over 100 People

POLICE IN PARIS RAID CURFEW VIOLATING MASS ORGY IN LOCAL WAREHOUSE, ROMANCE IS DEAD A warehouse orgy?  So the pandemic is still raging.  But people are still horny, to say the least.  But horniness seems to cause even more poor judgement during the pandemic than ever before.  And that’s saying something.  And here we have […] More

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Beaver Anal Excretions Are All Over You, And In You

DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE EATEN BEAVER ANAL EXCRETIONS, RUBBED THEM ON YOUR BODY? So busy as a beaver.  That’s a saying, because beavers never stop moving, working.  Or so it seems.  But did you know that beavers are a source for things that are all up in your life?  Or, rather, all over […] More

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Wife Can’t Bury Husband in Louisiana Cemetery, Whites Only By-Laws

MINORITY DEUPTY DIES, LOCAL CEMETERY TELLS WIDOW SORRY, WHITES ONLY HERE, NO COLOREDS So pardon me, but isn’t it the year 2021?  As Fletch once said, “Haven’t you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?”  Well, I have.  I’ve also heard about equal rights, where you can sit on a bus, and I can’t breathe.  But […] More

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Cops Arrest Tennessee Man For Photoshopped Disrespectful Pic

TENNESSEE COPS ARREST MAN OVER DISRESPECTFUL, PHOTOSHOPPED PICTURE Ah, the right to free speech is such a bastion of American society.  Except when it isn’t of course.  So when isn’t it?  Well, when people with authority take offense with your free speech and use that authority to make you pay for it.  And I’m hard […] More

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Kelowna, Canada Gets Huge Cocaine Shipment in Bananas

20 BRICKS OF COLUMBIAN BANANAS END UP IN KELOWNA, CANADA, STORES Bananas are amazing, if weird, fruit.  Even in Kelowna, Canada. They are the best friend to athletes, or even just the weekend warrior who needs a quick hit of potassium.  As a great pick me up for your system, bananas are the best there […] More

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Paleontologist Talks About First Ever Perfect Dinosaur Butthole

PALEONTOLOGIST EXCITED AT FIRST EVER DINOSAUR BUTTHOLE DISCOVERY, REALLY So dinosaurs are pretty cool and we keep learning new things about them all the time.  Like, really, all the time.  But we’ve never really ever seen a dinosaur anus before.  And by anus, I mean butthole, of course.  But Beavis and Butthead aside, it makes […] More

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World’s Most Expensive Comic Art is Sold For $3.84 Million

TINTIN HERGE COMIC ART SELLS FOR WHOPPING $3.84 MILLION AT AUCTION So comics are pretty fun.  I even have a collection, somewhere.  I haven’t looked at it in decades, to be sure.  But there was a time where I spent a bit of time each day looking at them.  Some, for the stories and action, […] More

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The Year 2020 Sucked So Much, The Planet Earth Even Sped Up

THE YEAR 2020 SUCKED BEYOND BELIEF, SO MUCH SO THAT THE PLANET EVEN SPED UP? So this isn’t a piece about how much the year 2020 totally sucked.  Well, not entirely.  But 2020 sucked as few years have sucked.  I mean, when has a year sucked as much?  Maybe 1918, with the Spanish Flu?  Maybe […] More

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Taint Bandaid Is Now Something You Can Buy, Perineum Depending

THE TAINT BANDAID IS NOW ALMOST HERE, AND IT’S ALL ABOUT THE STAYING POWER So do you know what your taint is?  No?  Sigh.  Ok, here goes.  Well, depending.  If you are a mammal, you’ve got one hole for number one and another hole for number 2.  The space between those holes is your taint.  […] More

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Want Time Alone? Try to Win the Göteborg Film Festival at a Lighthouse

GÖTEBORG FILM FESTIVAL OFFERING ONE WINNER SOLITUDE AT AN ISLAND LIGHTHOUSE, WITH MOVIES So if you’ve had enough of solitude with your pandemic situation, how about some improved, high-end solitude?  Like, really real solitude?  Because if that sounds good to you, this is a real winner.  But like many winning situations, there can be only […] More

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Man Injects Magic Mushrooms, Man Gets Fungus Blood Infection

OPIOID FAN MAKES MAGIC MUSHROOM TEA, INJECTS IT, GETS FUNGUS BLOOD INFECTION Wait, a fungus blood infection? So I’ve never done any kind of psychotropic drugs.  Well, besides watching various news programs, if briefly.  But I have quite a large numbers of friends who have.  Though I must say not recently, as far as I […] More

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San Diego Zoo Safari Park Gorillas Catch Covid, Have Positive Tests

GORILLAS AT SAN DIEGO SAFARI PARK ZOO CATCH COVID, MAY BE IN DANGER So I had heard about dogs getting Covid.  And minks as well.  Dogs with Covid are a mixed bag.  But minks?  They’re so vulnerable to it that mink farmers have been culling them everywhere.  But now, we have yet another animal group […] More

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Stranded Sightseers in the Wild Use Drone Phone for Help

FRIENDS WITH A BABY GOT STRANDED FROM A FLOOD IN THE AUSTRALIAN WILD, USE DRONE PHONE FOR HELP So I’ve been to Australia and it’s a gorgeous place.  But it’s as big as the continental United States.  So I didn’t actually see much of it at all.  I certainly haven’t been to Far North Queensland, […] More

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Elon Musk Overtakes Jeffrey Bezos As World’s Richest

ELON MUSK OVERTAKES JEFFREY BEZOS AS THE WORLD’S RICHEST PERSON, WE’RE TALKING SERIOUS MONEY So I’m not sure how I feel about this news.  Sure, everybody wants to be rich.  But so many of the richest people out there who don’t keep hidden and talk publicly seem like random tools.  At least.  And, to be […] More

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Accidental Toothpick Eating Results in Months of Rectal Pain

MAN ACCIDENTALLY EATS A TOOTHPICK, HAS NO CLUE, GETS MONTHS OF RECTAL PAIN So sometimes when bad things happen, you just want to put them behind you.  But what about when you put them behind you, yet they totally stay with you?  And in a bad way, to butt.  I mean, to boot.  Because that’s […] More

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Sad, Tanya Roberts Dead, Not Dead, Now Definitely Dead

FANS CONFUSED AS REPORTS OF TANYA ROBERTS DEATH COME OUT DAY BEFORE ACTUAL DEATH So this is some sad, sad and confusing news.  Tanya Roberts has passed away.  We don’t know yet if Covid made an infection she was fighting worse.  Tanya Roberts was a gorgeous and talented actress who was in Beast Master, Charlie’s […] More

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Police in Pakistan Arrest New Year’s Idiot Werewolf

IDIOT MOTORCYCLE RIDING WEREWOLF UNDER ARREST IN PAKISTAN FOR NEW YEAR’S STUPIDITY So New Year’s doesn’t always bring out the best in people.  Well, to be fair, idiots come out for almost every holiday to do stupid and dangerous stuff.  But this one is kind of special, and I think you’ll agree.  Police in Pakistan […] More

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Survive! Stowaway Makes It 5,600 Miles Holding Onto Jumbo Jet Wheel

ONE STOWAWAY SURVIVES 5,600 MILE FLIGHT CLINGING TO JUMBO JET WHEEL So I’ve heard of both desperate and brave.  Sometimes, it’s hard to differentiate between the two.  And other times, one seems to lead to the other.  In this case, it’s hard to tell.  But no matter what, I’d say desperation and bravery went hand […] More

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Researchers Finally Learning How Covid Can Cause Brain Damage

RESEARCHERS FINALLY START TO UNDERSTAND COVID INFECTIONS AND BRAIN DAMAGE Brain damage? So it’s pretty much 2021!  Um, yay.  Because what happened in 2020 is still happening.  And will continue to for quite a while, it seems.  But even worse, we keep learning how the waves from the Covid splash will tsunami our lives for […] More

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CARES Act Loans Had a Lot of Dirty, Bipartisan Graft

REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS SHARE THE TROUGH, GOT MAJOR CARES ACT GRAFT So it’s hard to keep up with the news cycle every day.  And by cycle, I do of course mean cycles.  Every second, to minute, to hour, day and week.  And with Trump and the pandemic, shoot, where do you begin never mind end […] More

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Own A Tesla? Now, You Can Customize Your Horn, Even to Fart!

TESLA GOES ALL IN WITH LATEST UPDATE, WHERE OWNERS CAN CUSTOMIZE HORN TO ANYTHING, EVEN A FART! So now, I really want a Tesla.  They’re slick, sweet and have tons of torque.  Now, their range is even getting better and better, too.  0-60 in almost nothing sounds like fun.  The latest and greatest in comfort, […] More

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IKEA Now Selling Perfect Pandemic Solitude, Mini House

NEED THE PERFECT LITTLE PANDEMIC SOLITUDE AND COMFORT HOME? HERE COMES IKEA So I better clear this up before I go too fat here.  I am NOT saying that IKEA is at all selling this cute, little house because of the pandemic. Or, even, that it’s a great product for the pandemic.  But I am […] More

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Smith & Wesson Goes Qanon, Sues New Jersey For Being Anti-Gun

NEW JERSEY FACES LAWSUIT FROM SMITH & WESSON FOR GUN ADS SUBPOENAS So guns are controversial.  That’s an easy statement to make without argument.  Well, unless you are a gun lover (or nut), who have one, and totally exclusive, idea on guns.  And when I say gun nuts, I don’t mean NRA members.  If you […] More

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South Pole! Last Continent On Earth, Antarctica, Has Covid Infections

SAD AND STUPID, AS COVID-19 INFECTIONS NOW REACH EVERY LAST CONTINENT, EVEN ANTARCTICA So what the hell, 2020?  You couldn’t just let this one go?  Really?  Because before the year is out, we have some absolutely pervasive pandemic facts to add to the pile.  Because 6 wasn’t enough.  Shoot, if we had 8, maybe that […] More

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9-Year-Old Boy Ryan Kaji Tops YouTube 2020 Earners

RYAN KAJI, 9, MAY BE THE BIGGEST LITTLE ENTREPRENEUR IN 2020, TOPPED YOUTUBE EARNERS So I’m not young.  But I’m not ancient, either.  Yet I still haven’t remembered to look up how to make a successful business using social media.  A friend’s nephew started earning 5 figures a year when he was 15 years old, […] More

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Retired Israeli General Says Aliens Real, A Galactic Federation Too

WAIT, WHAT!? ALIENS ARE REAL? THERE’S A FEDERATION OF ALIENS? A RETIRED ISRAELI GENERAL SAYS YES So I’ve heard some pretty smart people say that aliens are real.  Ok, fine.  The math says yes, totally, and no, no way.  In other words, we don’t have information.  What we do have, is a lot of muddy […] More

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Pill Mix Up! Erectile Dysfunction With Anti-Depressants!

PILL MIXUP AT FACTORY COULD BE DANGEROUS, ANTI-DEPRESSANTS AND ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION Well, this story is coming practically from a bad joke mill.  Or, maybe, an SNL skit that never made it to the live show itself.  But this really happened and you’re really reading about it.  Unless, you are possibly one of those that already […] More

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Iron Crotch Kung Fu Is Real, But Is It Here to Stay?

IRON CROTCH KUNG FU IS A REAL THING! BUT WITH NO NEW MASTERS, IT MAY NOT BE FOR LONG Kung Fu is a phrase, or name, I first heard in association with David Carradine.  The star of the old TV show with the same name.  At first, I was pretty confused.  Sure, I was a […] More

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English Cancel Culture Troll Book Suffers the Cancel Cure

ENGLISH CANCEL CULTURE PRO TROLL WAS ALL SET TO PUBLISH HER CANCEL CULTURE BOOK So trolls are now a normal feature of any culture, anywhere on the planet Earth.  One just a figure in a child’s fable, if a scary one to be sure, trolls now occupy the virtual world like none other.  Ever been […] More

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Pete Davidson Is Getting Rid of ALL His Tattoos?!

PETE DAVIDSON IS ACTUALLY GETTING RID OF ALL HIS TATTOOS? HOW MUCH WILL THAT HURT? So this is NOT actually an SNL skit?  This is real?  Because, ok, just wow.  Pete Davidson is a pretty funny guy.  Sure, he lives with his mom in Staten Island.  But even he makes fun of that.  I think […] More

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Tom Cruise In a Rage Over Broken Covid Protocol

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE CREW BREAK COVID PROTOCOL, AND TOM CRUISE WENT ALL-IN WITH RAGE TIRADE Ah, we’re in for some more Tom Cruise news.  As you know, making movies is hard to do in a pandemic.  But ok, it’s not as hard as actually seeing movies in a pandemic.  We can’t really do that at all.  […] More

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Empty of People, Full of Cocaine, Boat Washes Up on Remote Pacific Isle

EMPTY OF PEOPLE BOAT WASHES UP ON REMOTE PACIFIC ISLAND, WITH LOTS OF COCAINE A drug boat on a remote isle? That’s slightly odd.  Sure, the pandemic is happening and all.  And that means, well, that means a lot of things.  And I’m talking about things that we don’t really think about too much.  Well, […] More

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Wait, What? Most of Earth’s Vanilla Comes From Madagascar?

A VANILLA EDUCATION, WHERE IT’S FROM, WHERE WE GET IT TODAY, AND MAJOR HISTORY So this is one of those stories where I now realize how little I actually knew about something.  So sure, that sounds either asinine or totally egotistic.  But work with me here.  Things we find normal and familiar in our lives […] More

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France Officially Allows the Development of Super Soldiers

FRANCE JUMPS INTO THE FRAY, THE “ARMS” RACE IS ON TO MAKE A SUPER SOLDIER So I don’t really know how to feel about this news.  Super soldiers.  I’ve seen just a few movies about super soldiers.  Shoot, Captain bloody America is one.  But the term super soldier is pretty broad.  Augmentation can mean a […] More

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Attacking, Biting Rats Close New York City Chipotle

NEW YORK CITY CHIPOTLE FINALLY CLOSES AFTER MARAUDING, BITING RATS FINALLY WIN Well, this is crap news.  I actually like the Chipotle chain.  Well, even though I haven’t been to one in at least 5 years.  It’s a good eat, or at least it was.  With the pandemic, I haven’t eaten anywhere at all since […] More

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New Orleans Swingers Festival Gets 41 Horny Folks Covid

41 HORNY SWINGERS CATCH COVID AFTER ATTENDING NEW ORLEANS SWINGERS FESTIVAL So about a month ago, there was a swingers festival in New Orleans.  The name of the sordid horny event was Naughty in N’awlins.  And, to be fair, that’s a pretty good name for a swingers festival.  But, again, this one happened just last […] More

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Crazy! Arctic Dinosaurs Used to Live in Snowy Winter Conditions

ARCTIC DINOSAURS MAY HAVE LIVED THERE YEAR ROUND, IN SNOW AND FULL WINTERS So we’ve learned a whole lot about dinosaurs in recent years.  I mean, just look at what we know since the first Jurassic Park movie came out?  They made that movie before we really knew that most dinosaurs probably had feathers!  And […] More

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Singapore Restaurant Already Serving Chicken Frankenmeat

SINGAPORE RESTAURANT IS THE FIRST EVER TO OFFER LAB GROWN, CHICKEN FRANKENMEAT So have you heard of Frankenmeat?  No?  Well, it’s “meat.”  It just doesn’t come from a naturally grown animal.  So yes, that means that this stuff grows in a lab.  It’s really, really likely that the time will come that only a select […] More

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Alabama Thugshot Christmas Tree Outrages Pretty Much Everyone

MOBILE, ALABAMA SHERIFF’S OFFICE POSTS PICTURES OF OFFENSIVE, THUGSHOT CHRISTMAS TREE So there’s a lot of bad judgement manifesting out there these days.  Way more than the already too much we had before.  And the latest in the endless stream of such examples is from Mobile, Alabama.  Despite their name, the local sheriff doesn’t get […] More

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Austrian Village Changes Name to Fugging, Because Old Name Was…..

BECAUSE THE NAME WAS TOO FUNNY, AUSTRIAN VILLAGES GETS NEW NAME: FUGGING So fuck it.  I’m just gonna dive right into this directly.  There are a lot people who love the classic, oddly weird names of the places they live in.  Sometimes, it’s just a street or a region.  But when it’s your town’s name, […] More

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Star Trek: Discovery Stars Play D&D For Creative Energy

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY STARS PLAY D&D TO GET THE CREATIVE JUICES GOING So it took me quite a while to try watching the current and latest Star Trek series: Discovery.  I had heard all about it online and had seen commercials for it, of course.  But, to be fair, sometimes it takes a while for […] More

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Ohio Covid Rules For High School Wrestling, No Shaking Hands

OHIO HIGH SCHOOL WRESTLING IS STILL ON, BUT NO SHAKING HANDS BECAUSE COVID? So stupid is as stupid does over and over and over again.  I mean, really.  How much can we contort ourselves into stupidity?  Well, a lot it seems.  Because Covid-19 is currently ravaging the United States.  And if you think the pandemic […] More

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Margaret Thatcher’s Bronze Statue Gets Long Line of Egg Throwers

BRONZE STATUE OF IRON LADY MARGARET THATCHER DRAWS THOUSANDS TO THROW EGGS So I know it’s the year 2020 and it’s been a long time since we really had to think about previous public figures like Margaret Thatcher.  If your brain has a question mark appearing over it that means you weren’t around so much […] More

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In Bavarian Mountains, Random Giant Phallus Replaces Smaller Giant Phallus

BAVARIAN MOUNTAINS HAS A NEW, RANDOM, BIGGER GIANT WOODEN PALLUS, NOW WITH TESTICLES So there’s a lot of random news out there about random enigmas like the monoliths in the middle of nowhere that people find.  But then they’re gone!  While those little mysteries seem to have cleared up, there are bigger, better enigmas to […] More

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Alms For the President Billionaire? Why is Trump Begging for Money?

WHY IS SELF-DESCRIBED, BILLIONAIRE SUCCESS STORY DONALD TRUMP BEGGING FOR MONEY? So brand is important.  Even if you’re in pre-school, you know this at a basic, instinctual level.  But for most little kids, they learn that being in trouble all the time is not a good thing.  Everyone always assumes the worst about you.  You […] More

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Anti-Gay, Hungarian Pol Caught At Men-Only Orgy, Bag of Drugs

ANTI-GAY HUNGARIAN POLITICIAN GOES DOWN IN FLAMES, CAREER TOTALLY OVER Hahaha.  It sure does look like the biggest hypocrites are the anti-gay pols all over the world.  You know, politicians?  We’re sure had more that our share of them here in the US.  But now, there’s a new club, um, member, and he’s Hungarian.  And […] More

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Weird: Mystery Utah Monolith First Appears, Gets Press, Disappears

FIRST THE MONOLITH APPEARS IN REMOTE UTAH, NOW IT DISAPPEARS, POOF So what the hell is this about?  A week or so ago, a survey found a shiny metallic monolith in Utah’s Red Rock Country.  At first, people just shrugged off the news.  Well, and made fun of the hikers for touching it in photo […] More

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Dutch Artist Made Tower That Turns Beijing Smog Into Diamonds

AIR PURIFYING TOWER MADE BY DUTCH ARTIST TO CLEAN THE AIR, MAKES SMOG DIAMONDS So this sounds just too fantastic to be true.  Or, rather, it’s straight out of a sci-fi novel or TV show.  You know, letting readers and viewers know that amazing solutions are possible, just not real?  Well, I for one am […] More

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Culled, Danish Zombie Mink Are Coming Back From the Dead

DANISH ZOMBIE MINK LITERALLY RISE FROM THE DEAD FROM GASSY MASS GRAVES Zombie mink. So you likely have already heard that mink all over the world have been under the culling gin in recent months.  And Denmark literally culled (killed) all of their mink.  So why?  Because mink catch Covid and spread it on.  That’s […] More

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Grana Padano Goes After YouTuber For Cheesemaking Reveal

GRANA PADANO PLAYS GOLIATH, THREATENS YOUTUBER FOR VIDEO EXPLAINING CHEESEMAKING So I’m not too familiar with Grana Padano cheese.  It’s a family of cheese I’m sure to have had.  But who knows?  So yes, I do love me some cheese.  Even stinky cheese after my taste buds got old enough.  Well, usually with a nice […] More

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50,000 Farmed Salmon Escape Into the Wild, Zoologists Smell Something Bad

50,000 SALMON ESCAPE IN TASMANIA, AND ZOOLOGISTS SAY IT STINKS TO HIGH HEAVEN So salmon is some damn fine eating, if you ask me.  Even people who say they hate eating fish, often eat salmon.  And while there’s a big difference between farmed salmon and ocean salmon, there’s an even bigger difference in price.  But […] More

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Hot News, As Chili Peppers May Make You Live Longer

OLD HOTNESS IT THE NEW HOTNESS, AS EATING CHILI PEPPERS MAY MAKE YOU LIVE LONGER So I love me some chili peppers.  Why?  Because no matter what’s happening in your world, eating them changes… well, your world.  But I do caution to eat them in moderation, even if you’re gung ho with the spicy stuff.  […] More

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School In France Asks Parents to Stop Throwing Late Kids Over Gate

FRANCE SCHOOL HAS TO INFORM PARENTS NOT TO THROW LATE KIDS OVER THE GATE ANYMORE So sometimes the news just flummoxes me.  And that’s the perfect word to use here.  Flummox.  I am flummoxed.  A school in France has had to make an unusual request of parents of the kids that attend there.  And no, […] More

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Say What? Crazy Weird Platypuses Also Glow in the Dark, Too?

PLATYPUSES WERE ALREADY CRAZY WEIRD, BUT NOW THEY GLOW IN THE DARK, TOO? So I don’t know what to make of this.  I mean, the platypus is one weird animal.  Evolution has given it traits we just haven’t found together anywhere else.  And somehow, we’ve just made another discovery, in the year 2020, about platypuses?  […] More

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Sci-Fi Great Alan Dean Foster Calls Disney For No Royalties

DISNEY REFUSES TO PAY ALAN DEAN FOSTER ROYALTIES FOR HIS STAR WARS, ALIENS BOOKS So if you are a geek, like I am, you already know who Alan Dean Foster is.  He’s literally one of the all-time greats when it comes to successful sci-fi writing.  No, don’t know him?  Well, how about Star Wars?  Because […] More

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Manna From Heaven? Meteorite Thru Roof Nets $1 Million

A METEORITE CRASHED THRU HIS ROOF, BUT IT WAS MANNA FROM HEAVEN WORTH $1 MILLION So sometimes fortune is a mixed bag.  You know, when things seem a bit come see, come saw?  Well, this story is just a little better than that.  This is about literal Manna from heaven.  Don’t believe it?  Well, money […] More

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After Sean Connery’s Passing, An Auction For Bond’s Walther PPK Pistol

REMEMBERING SEAN CONNERY, AUCTION INCLUDES FAMOUS DR. NO WALTHER PPK PROP So Sean Connery has passed away.  While this isn’t a memory piece on Connery, which would be an epic writing in its own write, this piece is definitely related.  As our living icons leave us, we are left with nothing but memories and, in […] More

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AMC Theatres in Trouble, So Offering Private Screening For $99

IN SERIOUS MONEY TROUBLE, AMC THEATRES TO OFFER PRIVATE GROUP SCREENINGS FOR $99 So are you not entertained?  Well, hell no.  Of course you aren’t.  None of us are.  It’s a bloody freaking pandemic.  So of all the normal things people are missing, it’s going to the movies.  And sure, there aren’t too many new […] More

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Australia Dentist Breaks Quarantine, Gets Jail Time

DENTIST IN AUSTRALIA BREAKS QUARANTINE AFTER TRIP TO TREAT PATIENTS, GETS JAIL TIME So here in the United States, the Covid pandemic leaves you in either of (at least) two places.  Either you’re shit scared and take every precaution you can, or you think it’s not real and it’s simply no big deal at all.  […] More

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Cops Find That Sleeping Homeless Person on Bench Was Jesus Statue

BAD SAMARITAN CALLS POLICE ON HOMELESS PERSON, BUT WAS A JESUS STATUE So when I started thinking about how to write this piece I thought, what would Jesus do?  You know, WWJD?  Because it’s a question “good Christians” seem to have a hard time remembering.  Irony is one thing.  This goes way, way beyond irony.  […] More

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Aegean Sea Greek Island to Go Totally Electric With Volkswagen

GREEK GOVERNMENT AIMS FOR THE FUTURE, AEGEAN ISLAND TO BE TOTALLY ELECTRIC IN TWO YEARS So here is an interesting Petri dish in the era of electronic cars.  But while it’s an island and that makes it easier, it’s still pretty interesting news.  The Greek government has made a commitment to go totally electric on […] More

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Tyson Foods Plant Managers Had Cash Bets for Staff Covid Infection

PLANT MANAGERS AT TYSON FOODS MADE CASH BETS ON EMPLOYEES GETTING COVID AT WORK So as much as I hate to write about this after watching a lot of American Barbecue Showdown.  Because it just makes you want to eat all those amazing meats off a grill.  But when you really think about the actual […] More

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Covid Vaccine News Makes Gun Stocks Tumble in Price, But Why?

HOW IS IT THAT NEWS OF A GOOD COVID VACCINE IS MAKING ALL GUN STOCKS TUMBLE IN PRICE? So I really don’t get it.  We just got the news that two different Covid vaccine trials went better than anyone expected.  Like, we’re talking about a 90% effectiveness rate.  And that’s some great news to get […] More

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Oreo Made an Asteroid Proof Bunker in the Arctic, Why?

OREO COOKIE COMPANY MADE A DOOMSDAY, ASTEROID BUNKER IN NORWAY’S ARCTIC So Orios are the bomb.  And because of bombs, we needs bunkers. I have a lot of fond memories eating them in a whole variety of ways.  Everyone who loves Oreos has or had their own way of eating them.  And it was always […] More

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Washington State Legalizes Dead Body Composting

WEIRD? WASHINGTON STATE LEGALIZES HUMAN, DEAD BODY COMPOSTING So is the idea of composting dead bodies a future thing or a past thing?  I remember this idea in a lot of old sci-fi stories.  But human remains are a resource just like anything else.  For the soil, at least.  And Washington state passed a bill […] More

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ELECTION! Colorado Voters Choose to Bring Back Grey Wolves

COLORADO VOTERS PASS PROPOSITION TO RE-INTRODUCE GREY WOLVES BACK INTO THE WILD So Biden and Trump?  Nah, this isn’t that kind of election news.  Voters all across the country made choices on a host of issues.  Recreational use Marijuana and so many, many others.  But this one makes me happy, and I’m not a constituent […] More

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Zambian Woman Bites Off Husband’s Penis Over Rat in Bedroom

AFTER ZAMBIAN HUSBAND REFUSES TO REMOVE RAT FROM BEDROOM, WIFE BITES OFF HIS PENIS So with all the craziness of the past few weeks, I totally missed this story.  Now, you won’t either.  And for all the guys out there reading this, good luck with your dreams at night.  A Zambian woman got really upset […] More

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Romanian Town Somehow Reelects Dead Mayor to Office

DEAD MAN WINS REELECTION FOR MAYOR IN SMALL ROMANIAN TOWN So it’s election week.  And we’ve totally been thru it here in the United States.  Fortunately, the wait is over for us.  And it’s been a doozy by any measurement you can think of.  But this year’s pandemic election cycle has had some other crazy […] More

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Stranded Japanese Tourist Gets Private Machu Picchu Visit

JAPANESE TOURIST STUCK IN PERU GETS DREAM COME TRUE, GETS PRIVATE MACHU PICCHU VISIT So I’ve never been to Machu Picchu.  But I’ve got family and friends who have and they say it’s completely amazing.  And if I was jealous before, it’s nothing like I’m jealous now.  And that’s totally, utterly jealous.  Because a nice […] More

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Colorado Elk Gored Golfer, Sliced His Kidney in Half

ELK GORED COLORADO GOLFER BETWEEN HOLES, SLICING HIS KIDNEY IN TWO PIECES So I don’t know about anyone else.  But I like golf.  Well, playing golf, not watching it on television.  Though, I must say that Beavis and Butthead clearly understood that golf coverage is full of innuendo.  But I haven’t been able to play […] More

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Alive Man Mistakenly in Mortuary Freezer Saved, But Later Dies

DOCTORS AGAIN DECLARE SOMEONE DEAD, PUT IN MORTUARY FREEZER FOR A DAY So this is getting pretty ridiculous.  We keep seeing these stories about people that doctors declared dead who weren’t yet dead.  And now there’s another one?  But this one doesn’t have a happy ending by any means.  So this time, the story is […] More

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Borat Return Infects Kazakhstan, New Slogan is Now Very Nice

KAZAKHSTAN HATED BORAT, BUT NOW THEY THINK HE’S VERY NICE FOR TOURISM So you already know, Borat is back.  Well, he’s been back for a little while now.  Long enough for everyone to already barf, at least once.  You know, that tucking in the shirt situation?  And no, Rudy, no one is buying your bullshit.  […] More

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Dutch Hacker Gets Into Trump Twitter Account on Try #5

DUTCH HACKER IN SHOCK WHEN 5TH PASSWORD TRY FOR TRUMP’S TWITTER ACCOUNT WORKS But her emails?  Bloody Fucking Hell.  So screw her emails.  And screw Ivanka’s, and Jared’s, too.  Why?  Because none of those “emails” stories are relevant?  Hell, no.  Because if you want to know just how much amateur hour has been running the […] More

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Upstate NY Couple Discovers 100-Year-Old Bootleg Whiskey in Home

UPSTATE NY COUPLE MAKE HUGE DISCOVERY A YEAR AFTER LIVING IN PERIOD HOME Well, it’s too bad this house is off the market.  But it may be a side note to folks who are looking to buy: look at the history of possible homes really closely.  But one Upstate NY couple had no clue what […] More

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Trump Covid Infection Spikes Citizen Research into Schadenfreude

AFTER COVID HIT DONALD TRUMP, SUDDENLY SEARCHES FOR SCHADENFREUDE SPIKED LIKE CRAZY So here we are, with no more presidential debates to debase ourselves with watching.  And the under two-week countdown to Election Day itself.  But before we proceed with our various efforts of controlling our anxiety, disgust and general exhaustion, I want to look […] More

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Daily Black Licorice Diet Kills Massachusetts Man

BLACK LICORICE CANDY CAN BE DEADLY, MASSACHUSETTS MAN DISCOVERS So.  Black licorice can kill you.  Seriously.  And I know, I know, anything can kill you, especially if there’s too much of it.  But licorice, never mind black licorice, was not an item I would ever have put on my list of deadly things I need […] More

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Covid-19 Vaccine Side Effect Could Be 500,000 Dead Sharks

COVID-19 VACCINE COULD MAKE WAVES, UP TO 500,000 DEAD SHARKS FOR PRODUCTION So much for jumping the shark.  This is more like, depth charging the shark all over the world.  And no, I don’t particularly like sharks.  Jaws came out when I was a kid and so I saw it as a kid.  They scare […] More

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Man Hits Jogging Woman With Truck, Rapes and Buries Her

ARKANSAS HORROR STORY, AS FARMER HITS JOGGING WOMAN, THEN RAPE, THEN BURIAL So here is a real-life monster story.  Near Halloween, no less.  But the real part makes this equal parts horror, outrage and the inevitable tragedy.  You’ll understand why.  So the woman pictured above is Sydney Sutherland.  She was 25 years old.  The man […] More

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China Tells Genghis Khan Museum Not to Use Words, Genghis Khan, What?

CHINA GOES ALL IN, SAYS GENGHIS KHAN EXHIBIT CAN’T USE THE WORDS, GENGHIS KHAN So, have you ever heard of Genghis Khan?  Well, of course you have.  He created an empire, you may know it as the Mongol Horde.  Khan is a huge piece of history in the East.  But politics in China are making […] More

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DEA Instructor Calls Black Recruit a Monkey, Makes Monkey Noises

DEA INSTRUCTOR CALLED BLACK TRAINEE A MONKEY, MADE MONKEY NOISES OVER PA SYSTEM So this story is kind a surprise to me.  But, really, I shouldn’t be.  Things that we thought were our collective norms are clearly not what we thought they were.  And with politics in the US these days, that’s increasingly a clear […] More

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Expensive, American Made Spy Boat Washed Up on Scottish Isle

PRICEY, AMERICAN MADE SPY BOAT WASHES ASHORE ON REMOTE SCOTTISH ISLE So this is more than casually odd.  I had no idea, but there are unmanned spy ships sailing the high seas.  But one of these automated vessels washed up on the shore of a Scottish isle recently.  Its model name is the Wave Glider.  […] More

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Library Staffer in Austin Stole $1.5 Million in Printer Toner

LIBRARY STAFFER MADE OFF WITH OVER $1.5 MILLION WORTH OF PRINTER TONER OVER SEVERAL YEARS So I hate printer toner.  But I hate paying for them even more.  Why?  Because they are profit pigs that make breakfast cereal in the 1980’s look skinny.  Hmm.  Maybe that’s hard to follow.  But you probably already know what […] More

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White Man Wore Blackface Disguise, Fake Beard to Murder His Wife

WHITE HUSBAND MURDERS HIS WIFE WEARING A BLACKFACE AND FAKE BEARD DISGUISE So crime is often disgusting.  But this one takes it to new levels.  First of all, murder is a heinous crime.  There’s no other way to see it.  And when you kill your spouse, it’s all the more so.  Especially when you premeditate […] More

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New Hampshire Man Kills Wife’s Lover, Makes Her Behead Him

CUCKOLD HUSBAND KILL’S WIFE’S LOVER, FORCES HER TO CUT OFF HIS HEAD So this is some Old Testament kind of stuff.  Totally horrifying.  The Sixth Commandment is all about how we’re not supposed to commit adultery.  For you innocents or agnostic out there, that means don’t cheat on your spouse.  But one woman and her […] More

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Covid-19 Kills 10,000 Minks in the State of Utah

SCARY, UTAH MINK FARMS HAVE LOST 10,000 OF THEM TO COVID-19 So Covid-19 is killing more things than we knew.  Recent news out of Utah is a little disturbing in an entirely new way.  If you didn’t already know (I didn’t) there are a lot of mink farms in Utah.  But recently, they’ve been having […] More

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Catholic Priest Under Arrest for Threesome Sex on Altar

PRIEST, TWO HOT LADIES UNDER ARREST FOR THREESOME SEX ON HIS CHURCH’S ALTAR So what the hell is up with this story?  I’m is totally confusing.  And it’s exciting.  I mean, look at this situation.  First off, we’re talking about a Catholic priest getting it on.  Second, we’re talking about a Catholic priest getting it […] More

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Hairy, Poisonous Puss Caterpillars That Will Make You Vomit Invade VA

THE PUSS CATERPILLAR IS INVADING EVER FURTHER NORTH, NOW IN VIRGINIA So Global Warming rears its ugly head again, this time with a species moving ever more north in the United States.  Virginia now has a news guest in the wild, and they are not welcome.  So they have the name Puss Caterpillars.  They look […] More

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Pabst Blue Ribbon Now Sells Cannabis Seltzer, Munchies Inevitable

CANNABIS SELTZER? HELL YES! PABST BLUE RIBBON MAKES MAJOR SPLASH FOR BUZZ So the world is an interesting place.  Remember your entire life, and your parents lives, and their parents’ lives?  Well, maybe not your entire life.  But most of it.  But for all that time, marijuana was from the devil.  Totally illegal, it also […] More

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Versace Exec Gets Stop and Frisk for Beverly Hills Jaywalking

BEVERLY HILLS WHILE BLACK, VERSACE EXEC GETS STOP AND FRISK FOR JAYWALKING Ah, lessons the police never want to learn.  And, yes, there is again video.  Being black in the United States is seriously not fun.  It seems totally fair to wonder if your life could end at any given moment.  But if you say, […] More

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2020 Fat Bear Week Winner is the Bear, 747

THIS YEAR’S WINNING CHAMPION OF FAT BEAR WEEK IS THE GINORMOUS 747 So what the hell is Fat Bear Week?  Well, it’s run by Explore.org and has drawn all sorts of nature lovers in recent years.  With (almost) everyone staying isolated these days, that has only been more true this year.  So Fat Bear Week?  […] More

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Did Mitch McConnell Just Sucker Trump to Lose Election?

IT LOOKS LIKE MITCH MCCONNELL PLAYED TRUMP AS A SUCKER FOR THE ELECTION So.  You may have heard that Donald Trump totally got Covid-19.  He was in the hospital, he risked the Secret Service in a drive around for his white supremacist fans, and he’s on drugs, back at the White House.  And you likely […] More

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Donated Parrots Removed From Park For Swearing At Visitors

DONATED PARROTS AT WILDLIFE PARK HAVE TO LEAVE, FOR SWEARING AT VISITORS Polly doesn’t want a cracker.  Give Polly a fucking cracker now!  So you know, I’ve heard some good jokes about parrots that curse and swear.  But I never thought I’d ever be writing about this in real life.  So here are the deets.  […] More

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Dapper Don is Now Covid Don, As President Tests Positive for Covid

DONALD TRUMP TESTS POSITIVE, AS THE DAPPER DON BECOMES THE COVID DON So irony decided it was tired of taking a beating, and so went directly to the White House.  Does that sound harsh?  Well, maybe so.  But if you are related to any of the over 200,000 Americans who have died of Covid, I […] More

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Atlanta Strippers Say, Get Your Booty to the Poll

THESE ATLANTA STRIPPERS ARE SERIOUS ABOUT YOU GETTING YOUR BOOTY TO THE POLL So I love puns, I’m just that kind of guy.  But this pun came out of nowhere I saw coming.  Like, at all.  People of all stripes are gearing up for the coming US Presidential Election in November.  You know, the next […] More

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Hockey Fan Screams Shoot, Then Police Arrive At His Doorstep

HOCKEY FANS SCREAM SHOOT WATCHING THE STANLEY CUP, THEN THE POLICE SHOW UP So remember all those times you were watching a game and said, “shoot, shoot it!”  Because I know that I have, more times than I can count.  And that’s just watching basketball.  There’s that father-in-law character in the movie, Fargo, who just […] More

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Some Thoughts on The Shit Show Presidential Debate

SOME THOUGHT ON THE SHIT SHOW DEBATE, INSOMNIA, DESPAIR AND HOPE REGARDLESS So, here goes.  The Presidential debate happened.  And by happened, I mean the fan is dripping.  Because it was a shit show.  Hey, even a major TV News anchor said it was just that on live TV.  There’s no other way to describe […] More

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Manual Found for Nazi Computer, World’s Oldest, the Zuse Z4

MANUAL TO THE  WORLD’S OLDEST DIGITAL COMPUTER, THE ZUSE Z4, FOUND So as a tech geek, this story gives me mixed feelings.  Because computers are so important today, it’s important to remember their place in history, where they came from and when.  But Nazis?  This is a piece of techno-geek lore that I just never […] More

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Disgusting, Rudy Giuliani’s Company, With No Employees, Scores Fed PPP $$$

HOW DID RUDY GIULIANI’S COMPANY GET A FEDERAL PPP LOAN WITH NO EMPLOYEES? So this won’t sound too complimentary of Rudy Giuliani.  As a New Yorker who was in NYC on 9/11, I have some strong opinions about who he really is as a human being.  Negative opinions.  And pretty much everything he has done […] More

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Woman Offers Naked Cleaning Service, and Business is Booming

WOMAN OFFERING NAKED CLEANING SERVICE SAYS HER BUSINESS IS BOOMING So what is this?  Well, entrepreneurialism at its most obvious.  Younger people today may not know, but back in the day bikini (or even topless!) carwashes were a big thing.  And yes, they are still around today.  With masks.  But what young people definitely do […] More

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Disgusting! Police in Vietnam Bust Condom Resale Ring

VIETNAMESE POLICE RAID WAREOUSE, BUST USED CONDOM RESALE RING, DISGUSTING! Sooooo.  This is beyond disgusting.  This is….  I mean, really.  Who in the hell thinks that they can get away with this?  Like, I’m just-.  Selling used condoms?  As new?  A condom resale operation?  Yuck.  YUCK.  And this wasn’t a casual operation. Like, this was […] More

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Sci-Fi Legend Star Michael Hogan Has GoFundMe For Brain Injury

SCI-FI LEGEND AND BATTLESTAR GALACTICA HERO MICHAEL HOGAN SUFFERS SERIOUS BRAIN INJURY So this is sad and surprising.  A veritable sci-fi legend and star of the genre Michael Hogan is in trouble.  Why sad?  Well, because he’s one of the good ones.  And surprising?  Well, it’s a little shocking to see that an actor with […] More

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340 Pounds Gone After Christopher Stanley Quit Using Drugs

CHRISTOPHER STANLEY CHANGED HIS LIFE, QUIT USING DRUGS AND LOST 340 POUNDS So just look at those two pictures, side by side.  That’s what can happen when you change your life.  But sure, the after picture is disturbing in its own way.  Yet to stay real, that is just cosmetic and doctors can fix that […] More

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Orcas! Pod Near Spain Attacking, Ramming Local Boats

POD OF KILLER WHALES, AKA ORCAS, ARE WEIRDLY ATTACKING AND RAMMING BOATS NEAR SPAIN So this is like it’s out of some movie, straight-to-video on late-night television no-one is watching.  Well, actually there was a movie, Orca.  Over 40 years ago…. A character played by Richard Harris killed a Killer Whale and its unborn calf.  […] More

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In Indonesia, Anti-Maskers Have to Dig Graves for Covid Dead

ANTI-MASKERS IN INDONESIA HAVE TO DIG GRAVES FOR THE COVID DEAD, MANUAL-LABOR EDUCATION So there must be a special place in hell for those who deny the reality that Covid exists, and is killing people.  Because it is real.  And anti-maskers may enjoy their moments of rage that they put on public display.  You know, […] More

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School Suspends Black Disabled Teen for Toy Gun in Virtual Class

COLORADO SCHOOL SUSPENDS BLACK CHILD FOR HAVING OBVIOUSLY TOY GUN IN VIRTUAL CLASS Tone deaf. Or, in this case, skin tone deaf, too.  There’s really no other explanation all around.  So as you may already know, over a billion children around the world are in school virtually.  If you’re a parent, you are way, way […] More

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RAND Says The Richest Americans Taking More Than We Thought

NEW RAND CORPORATION STUDY PROVES THE RICHEST AMERICANS ARE RAKING IT IN, INCLUDING OURS So wealth distribution.  Even if you don’t know the phrase, it impacts your life in huge ways.  Today, in America, people already know that they have less than they used to.  They definitely have less than their parents did.  And we […] More

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Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Dying Wish Was A New President to Replace Her

RUTH BADER GINSBURG HAS DIED, AND HER DYING WISH IS FOR ANYONE BUT TRUMP TO REPLACE HER So Ruth Bader Ginsburg has died.  The 87-year-old US Supreme Court Justice held onto life as long as she could.  But finally succumbed to pancreatic cancer on the eve of Rosh Hashanah.  In the Jewish tradition, one who […] More

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BATS!!!! Arizona Weather Radar Shows Huge Cloud of BATS!!!

ARIZONA WEATHER RADAR FINDS NOT CLOUDS, BUT BATS, BATS, BATS!!! Some people love bats.  But not many.  Most people think they’re totally disgusting, creepy and duck for cover at first sight.  My father was, and is, terrified of them.  A lot of people are.  A good friend loves him some Batman.  But a real bat […] More

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First in 175 Years! Scientific American Endorses Joe Biden Over Trump

FOR THE 1ST TIME IN 175 YEARS, SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN ENDORSES FOR POTUS So you’ve of course heard of Scientific American.  What, you haven’t?  Well, it’s been around for a long, long, time.  Just look at the words.  Scientific and American.  It’s a journal of science, and it’s all American.  And it’s never, ever been partisan, […] More

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Fundraiser To Make DildoDon a Permanent Art Installation

DILDODON IS A PORTRAIT OF TRUMP USING DILDOS AND BUTT PLUGS, REALLY! So what’s in a name?  If you think about it just a little bit, you will likely get some idea about what DildoDon means.  First, you have the word dildo.  You know what that is, even if you swear to your dying day […] More

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US Navy Squares Ban All Hemp Products, Including Shampoo

US NAVY BRASS SQUARES BAN HEMP PRODUCTS LIKE SHAMPOO AND MOISTURIZER?  WTF So what the hell?  Is the US Navy led by the ghost of Nancy Reagan?  Just say no, then go, to hell?  So what happened is, the US Navy just issued an official ban on pretty much everything that contains hemp or cannabidiol.  […] More

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Beguiling Bombshell Diana Rigg Passes Away From Cancer, Age 82

PENULTIMATE BOND GIRL, GAME OF THRONES MATRIARCH, ACTRESS DIANA RIGG PASSES AWAY So I really, really was a big fan of the beguiling Diana Rigg.  In sad news, she has passed away at the age of 82 years.  If you’re over 40, you definitely know her from her roles as THE Bond girl and Emma […] More

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Acetaminophen, aka Tylenol, Makes People Engage in Risky Behavior

ACETAMINOPHEN PILLS LIKE TYLENOL CAN MAKE YOU TAKE EXTRA RISKY CHOICES So this is crazy weird.  If you are one of those people who pops a lot of over the counter pain pills, pay attention.  Well, or if anyone you know does and seems a little bit too adventurous and likes risky fun.  A recent […] More

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Predator Alert! Tennessee Has a Tiger On the Loose Problem

PREDATOR ALERT!  AUTHORITIES ON THE HUNT FOR TIGER ON THE LOOSE IN TENNESSEE So I’m not sure that there are many predators as dangerous as the Tiger.  Big cats are all very powerful and dangerous.  But the tiger is BIG, and is an ambush predator.  So much so, that people who have to work in […] More

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Priests on Floating Tiki Bar Save Man From Lake George Drowning

MAN DROWNING IN LAKE GEORGE SAVED BY PRIESTS ON DRY, FLOATING TIKI BAR So I know a lot of people who’ve been to Lake George.  It’s supposed to be a blast, one of those classic summer escapes.  Maybe I’ll try a visit myself some time.  But I hope to avoid anything like this happening to […] More

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4 Foot Long Snake Slithered Down Woman’s Throat While She Slept

WOMAN IN RUSSIA GOES TO SLEEP, WAKES IN PAIN, DOCTORS FIND 4-FOOT-LONG SNAKE IN HER STOMACH, WHAT!? So what the hell?  I now have another thing to be afraid of?  And the list is long, believe me.  But the order will change, as this shit is so disturbing its Survey Says will put in in […] More

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The Batman Production Halts, As Batman Robert Pattinson Gets Covid

THE BATMAN FINALLY RESUMED PRODUCTION AFTER 6 MONTHS, PATTINSON GETS COVID AFTER 3 DAYS So it was really just about a week ago that we saw a teaser for the forthcoming, The Batman.  And, it looks pretty decent, what they were willing to show us to date.  It’s dark.  The designs look amazing.  Quire the […] More

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Covid and Election Year Angst Makes Demand Boom for Psychics

STRUGGLING WITH ANGST IN A PANDEMIC ELECTION YEAR, PEOPLE ARE TURNING TO PSYCHICS FOR ANSWERS Psychics are pretty weird.  I remember when there used to be psychic shows on TV, which were totally scripted.  But then again, what’s on TV these days that isn’t?  And the days of The Mentalist are long gone.  But people […] More

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Canadian Brewery Erred, Names Beer “Pubes” by Accident

CANADIAN BREWERY GAVE GREAT, LIGHT BEER THE NAME PUBES BY ACCIDENT Beer is great.  Sometimes, the calories aren’t so great.  But the beer?  Always great.  But we’re talking real beer here.  Not that stuff Budweiser, Coors, Busch Beer stuff.  Sure, they have their place.  Ice cold on a hot day when clean water is out […] More

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Porn Legend Ron Jeremy Faces 20 Sexual Assault Charges?

PORN STAR RON JEREMY HAS EVEN MORE SEXUAL CHARGES, NOW UP TO 20 So I don’t know if you know who Ron Jeremy is.  But if Avenue Q is right, you likely do.  Because the internet is for PORN.  I happen to know Ron Jeremy because of searching for videos of Christy Canyon.  Let’s just […] More

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Peanut Butter Breakfast Makes You Bedroom Wizard

PEANUT BUTTER FOR BREAKFAST INCREASES PASSION, MAKES YOU A BEDROOM WIZARD So I used to start most mornings with peanut butter toast.  Why?  Well, I liked peanut butter, for one.  And toast is nice and easy.  If you toast your bread just right, it’s a little crunchy.  And if you get the peanut butter on […] More

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New Covid Symptom Alert: Big Balls, Less Fertility in Men

ACHING, BIG BALLS THE LATEST COVID SYMPTOM, ALSO MAY KILL FERTILITY So here’s even more news to lose sleep over.  Covid, Coronavirus, whatever the hell you call it, has caused all sorts of scary symptoms all over the world.  Neurological damage, organ failure, exhaustion, loss of smell, chills, etc. etc. etc.  And now?  Well, we’ve […] More

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Switzerland Had Chocolate Rain After Factory Accident

BECAUSE OF A FACTORY ACCIDENT, A SWISS TOWN EXPERIENCED CHOCOLATE RAIN? So the world is a weird and wonderful place.  Sometimes it’s even kind of fun, like chocolate rain.  Well, in this case, so long as you don’t have to clean up.  This story comes from Olten, Switzerland.  There’s a chocolate factory there.  But no […] More

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Gun Fans Love Man Who Shot Himself in the Balls

GUN FANS REDEFINE GUN NUTS AFTER MAN SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE BALLS, BECOMES THEIR HERO So people who love guns can seem to be a little strange.  But some, fairly, call them gun nuts.  For a wide range of different reasons, no less.  But this wasn’t a reason I would ever have imagined.  And now, […] More

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So Exactly How Much is a Buttload, Really? It’s a Lot

HOW MUCH IS A BUTTLOAD?  WELL, THERE’S AN EXACT AND REAL ANSWER, IT’S A REAL WORD! So how much did that cost?  A Buttload?  Wow!  That’s a lot!  But how much, exactly?  It’s always just seemed to be… a lot.  But like so much with language, sometimes so much is just slang.  But sometimes it’s […] More

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Sneaky Burglars Steal 1 Million Yen From Ninja Museum

SNEAKY THIEVES STEAL OVER 1 MILLION YEN IN 3 MINUTES FROM NINJA MUSEUM So first off, there’s a ninja museum?  That’s really cool.  It is, of course, in Japan. In Iga city in the Mie prefecture, to be precise.  Because that’s where the Iga Ninja Clan originated.  It’s located in a remote forest area.  But […] More

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A New Beastmaster in the Works as Original Master Lost

REMEMBER THE BEASTMASTER?  ANOTHER IS ON THE WAY, BUT THE ORIGINAL MASTER REELS ARE LOST So with kids these days, they probably have never heard of the movie Beastmaster.  It came out in 1982 which is, looking back, a long ass time ago.  But way back then, if you were a kid like I was, […] More

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CDC Warns Stores, Don’t Confront Crazy Anti-Maskers

SAD DAY WHEN THE CDC HAS TO WARN STORES NOT TO CONFRONT ANTI-MASKERS So this is where we are?  Well, I suppose it is.  The RNC is happening right now, after all.  Historians will note it as the most deceit-filled celebration ever in American politics.  The Hatch Act?  Forget about it.  Racist?  You bet.  Anti-science?  […] More

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Michigan At Last to Pay Flint Survivors $600 Million For Poisoned Water

FLINT, MICHIGAN RESIDENTS START GETTING JUSTICE WITH $600 MILLION PAYOUT So this is new news about an old scandal.  Remember Flint, Michigan?  You know, the town that suffered an insane amount of lead poisoning from their water?  Well, it’s back in the news again.  But this time, it spells out some justice at long last.  […] More

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Florida to Release 750 Million Mosquitos to Combat…. Mosquitos

FLORIDA TO RELEASE 750 MILLION MOSQUITOS TO KILL DANGEROUS MOSQUITOS Mosquitos totally suck.  Literally.  And as it’s the summer season, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Well, if you don’t live in an arid location, that is.  But mosquitos are all over the world, especially wet places like Florida.  Just think of all those […] More

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Empowered Women Post Topless Nature Colorado Pics

WOMEN TAKING TOPLESS PICS IN COLORADO NATURE, POSTING THIM IN CELEBRATION ON SOCIAL MEDIA So a lot of people don’t seem to be getting this.  Sure, the breast is still a controversial object.  But that’s just the thing.  It’s not an object.  But many can’t be objective about them.  But for many women, they are […] More

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As Season 4 of Stranger Things Wraps, Season 5 Confirmed!

CONFIRMED! STRANGER THINGS WILL DEFINITELY HAVE A SEASON 5 AS SEASON 4 WRAPS So we are inundated with media and shows like never before.  Does that dilute quality?  Maybe.  Definitely, when it comes to the news.  But some shows stand out as fantastic fun.  And if you’ve already watched any of Stranger Things, you know […] More

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Nepal Celebrates First Ever Rare, Godlike Gold Turtle

NEPAL FINDS THEIR FIRST EVER GOLD TURTLE, WHICH MANY WORSHIP AS A GOD So we all have to come out of our shells sometime.  And people in Nepal are certainly doing that in celebration.  But as this is all new to me, I’ll reasonably assume it is for you, too.  A gold turtle is a […] More

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Man Wraps Neighbor’s Car in Plastic for Stealing Parking Spot

BRILLIANT REVENGE PRANK AS MAN WRAPS CAR IN PLASTIC WRAP IN HIS PARKING SPOT So have you ever heard the saying, revenge is a dish best served cold?  It’s a good one, and it certainly has its place and time.  But how about wrapped revenge?  Now, I have to offer a disclaimer here.  I have […] More

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Dipshit Sues Online Date for $150,000 For Getting Herpes Kiss

DIPSHIT SUES ONLINE DATE FOR ALLEGEDLY GIVING HIM HERPES SIMPLEX COLD SORES I don’t like dipshits.  Even though this might have made me one, too.  What’s a dipshit?  Well, I’m about to explain that to you.  Because this is the perfect example of one.  His name is Martin Conway.  He’s a personal trainer and went […] More

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Yale Welcomes Back Students, Warns Then They Will Face Death

HONEST YALE ADMINISTRATOR WARNS STUDENTS THEY WILL FACE DEATH THIS FALL So I’ve got a friend whose kid is starting college this fall.  I’m so glad my own brood are still too young.  First, they lose out on their high school graduation and proms.  Then, they “go” to college in the fall?  With Coronavirus?  I’d […] More

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Canadian Province Recommends Glory Hole For Safe Covid Sex

WOW! BRITISH COLUMBIA SAYS A GLORY HOLE IS A GREAT, SAFE WAY FOR COVID ERA SEX! Canada sometimes feels so close, yet so far away.  I’m sure people who wanted to avoid the Viet Nam draft felt the same way.  But this time, it’s a virtual, cultural(?), dissonance.  So yes, the Covid pandemic has made […] More

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WTF? Husband Commits Suicide For No Sex, Police Arrest Wife?

POLICE ARREST WIFE AFTER HUSBAND COMMITS SUICIDE FOR NO SEX LIFE AT ALL Marriage can be challenging.  If you’re married, or ever have been, you know this is true.  It’s called life.  Well, married life.  But sometimes it’s more than a challenge.  Sometimes, it’s deadly, usually by murder.  But marital neglect has a big impact, […] More

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Buck Naked German Man Chases Wild Boar For Laptop Computer

WILD BOAR MOMMA MAKES OFF WITH LAPTOP BAG, BUCK NAKED GERMAN MAN RUNS IN PURSUIT So naturists are interesting people.  And it’s more popular than prudes like us Americans have any clue of.  Evidently, there’s a lot to experiencing the world buck naked.  I must say being naked in a hot tub next to the […] More

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BP Worker Wins Big After Downfall Nazi Parody Dismissal

DOWNFALL PARODY GETS BP WORKER FIRED, BUT HE WINS BIG, GETS THE LAST LAUGH So have you ever heard about the Downfall parodies?  No?  Well, Downfall is the name from a 2004 movie where there’s a now famous scene of Hitler losing his shit.  It really is quite the scene.  But so much so, that […] More

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The Bigger the Porn Diet, The Smaller the Erection

STUDY REVEALS THE TRUTH, YOUR BIG PORN DIET MAKES FOR ONE SMALL ERECTION Well, this comes as a complete surprise.  No, really.  And, well, I don’t mean that surprise in any particular personal way, either.  A new study has given up the goods on the bads that porn does down there.  It seems that the […] More

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New Video Shows Police Handcuff Special Needs 8-Year-Old Boy

POLICE ARREST 8-YEAR-OLD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS AFTER SUBSTITUTE TEACHER SCREWS THE POOCH So much to say here.  But outrage can’t fit onto the largest canvas, even here.  So this is new news on an old arrest.  In 2018, police arrested an 8-year-old boy with special needs.  Did he kill someone? No.  Did he have a […] More

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People Donating Their Hair to Clean Up Mauritius Oil Spill

LOCALS IN MAURITIUS USING HUMAN HAIR DONATIONS TO CLEAN UP MASSIVE OIL SPILL So this is interesting, if disappointing news.  There is a massive oil spill happening in Mauritius.  If you don’t know it, it’s in the Indian Ocean.  It has beautiful beaches, amazing fishing and protected wetlands.  And there’s a huge oil spill threatening […] More

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Terrified Mike Tyson Puts Shark to Sleep, Tickling Its Nose

BEFORE GOING BACK IN THE RING, MIKE TYSON GOES UNDERWATER TO PUT SHARK TO SLEEP WITH NOSE TICKLING So Mike Tyson is making a comeback.  You may have already heard that news.  Geriatric boxing is in vogue these days.  I must say, I’m kind of interested.  But also will be horrified if any of these […] More

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WTF? Tax Dollars Paying for Moderna Covid Vaccine, You’ll Then Buy

TRUMP FUNDING THE MODERNA VACCINE TO GET RE-ELECTED, AND WE’LL PAY FOR IT TWICE So everyone keeps talking about how we need a vaccine for Covid-19.  And, maybe we do.  Especially since the United States has dropped every ball that every motley fool has ever tried to juggle.  Maybe you just heard about that motorcycle […] More

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Trump Admin Warns Americans Away From New Zealand “Health Risks”

TRUMP ADMIN WARNS AMERICANS AWAY FROM NEW ZEALAND OVER NON-EXISTENT HEATLH RISKS So when you have a baby in his dotage as President of the United States, you can see some wacky, petty stuff.  And it certainly seems to be that way now.  Because when it comes to Donald Trump, there is no bar.  It’s […] More

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Meet Big Daddy, The Murderous Croc Reformed by Marriage

AFRICA’S OLDEST CROC WAS THE TANA TERROR BEFORE MARRIAGE, NOW HE’S THE BIG DADDY So I used to know a guy who referred to himself as Big Daddy.  He was fun to hang around with.  But I don’t think anything could happen where you would ever call him reformed.  Like, ever.  But marriage changes a […] More

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Georgia Principal Suspends Student For Posting Mask-less High School Crowd

GEORGIA STUDENT POSTS PIC EXPOSING MASK-LESS COVID NIGHTMARE SCENARIO, PRINCIPAL SUSPENDS HER So maybe you’ve already seen this photo?  It’s of a lot of students at the North Paulding High School in Dallas, Georgia.  Those students are packed into there, as you can see.  Most of the students are mask-less.  It’s just the first day […] More

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Leech Goes in Man’s Penis, Drinks A Liter of His Blood

HORROR STORY AS OLDER MAN GET LEECH IN HIS PENIS WHILE GOING FOR A SWIM IN CAMBODIA So my first reaction to this is, oh, hell no.  No way.  Ever.  I don’t even want to think about this.  But here goes.  You have heard all sorts of nightmare stories about things that can happen to […] More

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Hartford Sovereign Citizen Cuts Off Landlord’s Head When Told to Get Out

TENANT, SOVEREIGN CITIZEN, CUTS OFF LANDLORD’S HEAD WHEN TOLD TO GET OUT So have you ever heard the expression, that’s nothing to lose your head over?  Well, this is no different.  But, a different, literal, outcome.  Have you ever heard of the term, “sovereign citizen?”  No?  Well, someone who considers themselves a sovereign citizen believes […] More

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Cab Driver Serial Killer Fed 50 Bodies to Crocodiles, Sold Their Cars

SERIAL KILLER MURDERED OVER 100 CABBIES, FED THEIR BODIES TO CROCODILES So this is rather frightening, if you are a taxi driver.  Well, or maybe it’s just frightening, period.  A doctor in India had a side gig the likes of which you would never imagine.  He killed cab drivers.  Like, more than 50 cab drivers.  […] More

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UK Gov to Invest in Lady Friendly Sex-Party Company, Killing Kittens

UK INVESTS IN SEX-PARTY STARTUP, KILLING KITTENS, TO SURVIVE PANDEMIC MARKET So this is pretty interesting.  I remember the days when people on dating apps were kind of odd.  Maybe they were just desperate?  But that is ancient history now.  Everything is online these days.  Even services that help organize a sex-party for interested…. parties.  […] More

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Did Trump and Kodak Just Enjoy Insider Trading Via US Tax Dollars?

DID U.S. TAX DOLLARS FACILITATE INSIDER TRADING FOR KODAK WITH GOVERNMENT LOAN? So this stinks to high heaven all the way down to perdition’s flames.  The United States sometimes gives out loans to companies to facilitate the products to satisfy the public need.  And that’s totally fine.  The pandemic has created a LOT of need […] More

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Trump Doctor Believes in Demon Sperm, Alien DNA, Hydroxychloroquine

TRUMP NUT DOCTOR BELIEVES IN HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE, DEMON SPERM AND ALIEN DNA So no doubt you’ve heard the latest brouhaha about Donald Trump and his retweeting.  But of course it’s impossible to keep up with Trump on social media.  I mean, the guy tweets more than middle school kids, these days even!  But some Trump tweets […] More

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